Bored of teacher friend banging on about how hard her job is

[JustACog]

Friend's a teacher and I'm tired of the chat about how her job is harder/longer/more stressful than everyone else's.

Almost every conversion now gets round to her moaning about how much she's overworked how much time she spends marking or planning. I do believe there is a lot of work involved in teaching and it's not a job I could do but I'm fed up of it being laid on thick. Fed up of the martyrdom around the sacrifice she's making for the children

CF said to me that I'm lucky to have my job (nurse full time shifts in A&E) as I just get to switch off when I leave and she's on the job from dawn to dusk.

AIBU to call her out on this, really feeling like I'd like to ask her what she really thinks other people do that's so much easier than teaching.

Tell her she’s lucky she has those long paid holidays 🤣🤣🤣

This 👆

Remind her its less than two weeks since and less than six weeks until the next lot of several paid days away from the workplace. Me and you probably get five to six weeks a year

Or possibly don’t do this as all she’ll do is point out - rightly - that teachers aren’t paid for most school holidays.

I wouldn’t enter into any conversation about it, just shut it down. You both do a hard, valuable job but if she doesn’t like it she should find something else. I like the suggestion from PP that you apply a logical response, “so what are you going to do instead of teaching then?”

This is not a teacher bashing post ffs. Anyone banging on about how hard their job is is boring.

Both my parents are teachers, I work in a hospital. I could not be an a&e nurse, I get palpations every time I have to go to a&e, it's absolutely hectic in my hospital

Your friend is a prick if she thinks you can just switch off at the end of an a&e shift.

Teaching is hard, but there are harder jobs. Both my parents come home and switch off. Yes they work 7.30-5.30 but so do I, often lots longer. There's no nights, unlike healthcare. The holidays help as a recovery period.

I know a couple of teachers who think they work the hardest of anyone, and seem to have no awareness of other jobs.

YANBU, and I do teach!

There is NO WAY I could do 12 hour shifts!

SIL is a teacher, and I can confirm that moaning about how overworked they are is situation normal for many of them.

I got so fed up of hearing it that every time she starts I now remind her very bluntly that she gets 13 weeks off a year when everyone else gets only 5.
“How many weeks until your next holiday, Jane? Only 3? Crikey. I wish I got half as much holiday as you.”

“Don’t tell me you’re off work yet again, Jane?, you have only just gone back!”

And so on.

Every. Single. Time.

She really, really didn’t like it, but she has finally taken the very unsubtle hint and toned down the moaning in my presence.

This is so similar to a post a few months ago : almost word for word

She sounds tedious. Yes, teaching can be exhausting (have been a teacher for 18 years myself) but so can many jobs. I never get the competitive complainers. Who wants to win the competition for having the shittest job??? I would either avoid her, or pointedly change the topic every time.

dons tin foil hat

This is not a teacher bashing post ffs. Anyone banging on about how hard their job is is boring.

Yes but this one's a teacher V nhs nurse post

So it'll go really well...

I’m a teacher.

Your friend is a dick.

To be fair anyone who consistently moans about how hard anything is, yet does nothing about it is boring.

Whether that's their job, their partner, whatever. Unless it's something they really can't change, like caring for someone.

I think both you and your friend have difficult jobs. Anything involving caring for humans is hard because the variables are inconsistent. Both of you work long hours, you don't "switch off" emotions when you finish your shifts, you don't get bathroom breaks on-demand, real people suffer if you mess up, you may get harangued by your patients'/students' families, your feet and brain and heart will ache all the time - especially for the ones who need the most help but ask in the worst ways, etc.

Maybe your friend's complaints will be less irritating if you bond over your similarities? If she vents about her job, so can you.

Tell her she’s lucky she has those long paid holidays

Don't bother with that one. It's a myth for any decent teacher.
However, yanbu. Noone wants to be whinged at ad infinitum.

Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons

YANBU
Tell her she’s lucky she has those long paid holidays 🤣🤣🤣

Apparently the hols aren't paid, she's only paid for the time she works.... But it gets spread out over 12 months for ease.....

I think the problem with some people that go into teaching think they will be doing a nice easy 8.30-3.30 job with good holidays, when they see the actually work involved it hits them hard. Not everyone, just some.

Definitely not a teacher bashing post, nor is it a nurses work hard post.

Just a post about someone who thinks that they work way harder than everyone else and doesn't mind making it known to anyone who'll listen.

Ok @Orangeshark you’re right, it’s not a teacher-bashing thread, sorry. I think it’s fair to say though that any mention of teachers on Mumsnet is usually guaranteed to bait a few bashers who are always lurking in the shallows .

The other option is to be overly enthusiastic about your job. Let her moan for a bit and then start drawling on about how lucky you are to find your job so rewarding etc. and how you couldn’t do what she does; work so hard at a job she doesn’t enjoy.

She might not click but she may see the stark comparison in your attitudes or she’ll get competitive over who loves their job the most if you do it consistently.

I’d be interested to know which way she went.

I hate this too. Not just teachers but everyone who thinks that they work harder than everyone else/no one else is as dedicated as them/all their colleagues are useless. Such bores.

Your friend is a tosser....

If you teach in FE - you know, those places that take your lazy, useless teenage darlings when they can't be bothered to get a job - you get twenty days a year holiday. So fuck off with your long holidays shit!

Maybe your friend's complaints will be less irritating if you bond over your similarities? If she vents about her job, so can you

My experience of this type of person tells me they have no interest in bonding or letting you vent; they want to win the martyr crown and have everyone know it.

If she had any emotional intelligence she would have already cottoned on to the fact OP is irritated.

Why is she your friend if she doesn’t spark joy in you?
Time to Kondo her.

Your friend is a dick. Your job is far more difficult. Id have throttled her

We’re in Scotland and teachers got a 10% pay rise Not really. The award was 10% over three years which is not the same thing as 10 over one year.
OP could have written her post about a friend saying her job was harder - but she would not get half as many responses without using the T-word.