Bored of teacher friend banging on about how hard her job is

[JustACog]

Friend's a teacher and I'm tired of the chat about how her job is harder/longer/more stressful than everyone else's.

Almost every conversion now gets round to her moaning about how much she's overworked how much time she spends marking or planning. I do believe there is a lot of work involved in teaching and it's not a job I could do but I'm fed up of it being laid on thick. Fed up of the martyrdom around the sacrifice she's making for the children

CF said to me that I'm lucky to have my job (nurse full time shifts in A&E) as I just get to switch off when I leave and she's on the job from dawn to dusk.

AIBU to call her out on this, really feeling like I'd like to ask her what she really thinks other people do that's so much easier than teaching.

I've been a teacher for twenty years and things have never been so bad. Everyone I know would leave if they could but it isn't that simple - financial considerations and lack of qualifications for other similar paid roles make it very difficult to do so. I've gone part time to cope and do normal full time hours as have so many of my colleagues But to keep going on and on is too much. She needs to either leave or find a way to cope with it better. It is very frustrating though as the government really have ruined things for everyone both in Education and the NHS.
Just to clarify a couple of things though- teachers don't get paid for the holidays. They get paid the statutory amount like everyone else.
Also
Does she get to sit down during her working days? Sorry but no I don't actually and neither do any of my colleagues. I don't even get to sit at a table to help a child as I'm rushing around the classroom all day to so many children needing support or making sure they are on track due to the numerous SEN or behaviour issues that no longer qualify for any support. I'm on my feet all day, work through lunch etc spent after schools running around the school gathering resources, photocopying etc and go home every day with a big bag of marking and only sit down to work when I get home so that comment isn't helpful either and shows the lack of understanding of the reality of the job displayed by many.
But I fully appreciate the the job of a nurse is an extremely difficult one too and I wouldn't dream of complaining my job is harder because it isn't. We are all in the same boat with our jobs being made shittier and it's not a race to the bottom. Things really have become awful in teaching and teachers are not afraid to work hard but the workload is utterly ridiculous and no one can deny dealing with thirty children at a time all day (usually now with no support thanks to the budget cuts that are making a difficult job practically impossible now do to lack of resources) is damn hard work. I think that's the part people don't get. I think I one of the reasons teachers do moan a lot is because people are unwilling to accept that it is that hard. Hence why so many career changers leave teaching and go back to their old roles. If a nurse complains her job is hard people accept it but when a teacher does it then often people don't and go on about the holidays and finishing at 3pm. That's the issue. People think they know what the job entails- but they really don't. When you have huge numbers of people leaving a job because it is so bad then you've got to start to think that maybe the teachers moaning have a point. Look up the stats for how many have left- it's a shocking number. All the public services are suffering. I take my hat off to anyone working in the NHS. The conditions are deplorable and I understand all too well not being able to do your job properly and it's the most heartbreaking thing in the world when it is something you love to do.

Does anyone die on her when she’s at work and then she’s got to help with the relatives afterwards?
No.
So she needs to button it.

teachers vs nurses

Not at all goady

She's only been a teacher for the last 4 years after retraining

Think the reality of teaching being a lot different to the expectation of a 6 hr day and home for the kids has been a shock.

We've been very good friends for years and continue to be good friends, just had enough of this increasing aspect of her

How do you respond?
Do you actively listen to her or pay lip service?
Yes it’s boring if she’s repetitive but maybe she doesn’t feel heard.
Maybe she’s really stressed and waiting for someone to ask the right question.
Also maybe she doesn’t have much else to talk about if the job is so consuming.

No one dies if I get it wrong as a teacher. They might very well if a nurse makes a mistake. I couldn’t do that. Plus I get to sit down at some points during my day.

Teachers do not have the monopoly on stressful jobs.

Teaching is a difficult job and I know is a job that I could not do, as I do not have the level of patience required. However it is just like any other job in that if you do not like it, you need to move to another job and that is what needs to be said to your friend OP. Image how miserable and twisted they will be about the job when they are 60 and still teaching, very negatively, the students in their class
It is however a real problem that the level of wastage of people who have been trained as teachers and leave within a couple of years. There does seem to be a real problem with the training of teachers, so that those who become qualified as teachers do know what is expected of them, rather than leave after a short period of time.

Quite simple - the stresses are different, it's a very different environment, teaching is bad enough in the classroom without the work you have to do at home and through the holidays people assume you're living it during - but fuck 12 hour shifts for the nhs!

I've worked in teaching but not as a teacher, I wanted to be one but stopped studying to because fuck that shit now. But I couldn't do any 12 hour shift day and specially not after hearing about and seeing some stuff first hand that happens to nurses and hca's at work.

Both are really crappy and underpaid for the hours and stress involved.

You can't compare them equally because they're not the same.

Btw, I’m not saying that one is harder or worse than the other, just that in this scenario, with the constant drip, drip, drip from your ‘friend’ pointing out that you literally have to deal with life and death and you don’t get to switch off because people’s health and literal lives is a whole other type of stress to hers wouldn't go amiss.

I have two teacher friends and the complaining does get really out of hand. I can name lots of their colleagues and quite a few pupils, know all about the inspections and office politics, yet I do t think they really know what I actually do for a living😂.

They do get very defensive about hours and holidays. But i suspect that’s natural when so many people tell them they have it easy,

I work in the NHS and there is one person at the same level ( out of lots ) who consistently bangs on about how hard and super specialist her work is.
Actually everyone works hard - although naturally some a bit harder than others and she has the lightest job by far as no one can face asking her to do anything else.
So in my experience the more the moaning the less the work!

@1Morewineplease
It’s hard for teachers to understand the real world where most work longer hours for four weeks off a year
UK minimum holiday allowance is 5.6 weeks for a full time employee, but don't let that stand in the way of a good goad.

I'm a teacher. Yes it's hard work and there's loads of work outside the normal working day.

Tell her if she isn't happy to go find a job in another school with a better work life balance. If she doesn't want to then she's laying it on thick

Tbf though that comment about holidays being unpaid is true. Our salaries are just split equally over 12 months

I have no problem with her talking about the increased pressure felt by everyone in the public sector. A teacher's job involves so much around social work that it must be hard. Years of austerity have hurt everyone

I just object to the my job is harder than everyone's talk......

Including my DH and even her DH who both work long hours in stressful jobs.

Only taught 4 years after retraining? You may well only have a year of it to go before she leaves as one of the 50% or so that don’t last.
Yes, it’s a stressful job, but that’s all the more reason not to fill your free time with moaning about it. Doesn’t improve anything.

When you have huge numbers of people leaving a job because it is so bad then you've got to start to think that maybe the teachers moaning have a point

They definitely do have a point, and I think the government should listen to them. (Although I live in N Ireland where teachers are treated with far more respect than in England, and its nurses who really get the shitty end of the stick). But I think the problem is that there is no point in complaining about it to non teachers as it just comes across as 'my job is hard and yours is so easy'. But in all honesty I think teachers should be on strike and chaining themselves to the gates of Downing Street because the way they are treated is terrible.

There does seem to be a real problem with the training of teachers, so that those who become qualified as teachers do know what is expected of them, rather than leave after a short period of time
Yes of course if teachers leave it is because of the training, not because of the job! 🤦🏼‍♀️

Yes I am overworked as a teacher but God the holidays?!!!... I have been a nurse and I couldn't hack it! The girls I started with are still doing it and how they do it I don't know! However I am a better teacher than I ever was a nurse!

Next time just say ‘you should probably quit if you can’t cope with it’ and see what she says. She either can or can’t and has to shut up either way.

They don’t get paid for holidays, the wage is divided across the year to cover it. What she does she teach? Because if it’s primary she’s a fucking wet wipe!

Ask her how many times she's had to work on Christmas Day, in a pupil facing role.

Why was it important to point out she is a teacher, OP?

If this post is genuinely just around frustration within a friendship, why title it “teacher friend”?

Wasn't this exact post made a few months ago?

Fgs teachers v nurses again.

Nurses = angels
Teachers = workshy whingers

1000 posts guaranteed.

I'm a teacher and I honestly don't know how you do your job, but I an eternally thankful you do!
I csnt imagine working in your job and keeping yo the hours of your shift and switching off the minute you walk through the door. There are so many pressures in so many different jobs.

I'm a teacher. I don't think you can say for certain that teaching is more difficult than nursing or vice versa. It depends on the individual jobs.

Primary teachers statistically work around 60 hours a week on average. There is a great deal of responsibility around safeguarding and child protection. Meetings with parents can be difficult. Depending on the school, there may be a culture of reinventing the wheel which means you spend hours and hours planning lessons differently each year because a member if SLT has been on a course and wants you to change everything. Being accountable for 30 children's progress and pastoral care. Evidencing progress to SLT. Marking 60-90 books a day. Being observed and being pulled apart by SLT afterwards. Spending hours doing displays, creating resources, photocopying and organising paperwork because your TA has to be working with the children every moment. Leading a subject. Reports. Behaviour logs. Meetings. Running clubs. Staying late for various events,parents evenings etc.

Teaching is fabulous and there's nothing like being in front of a class you have a great relationship with, however I regularly worked 11-12 hour days and rarely sat down.

Your friend is tiresome though.