Bored of teacher friend banging on about how hard her job is

[JustACog]

Friend's a teacher and I'm tired of the chat about how her job is harder/longer/more stressful than everyone else's.

Almost every conversion now gets round to her moaning about how much she's overworked how much time she spends marking or planning. I do believe there is a lot of work involved in teaching and it's not a job I could do but I'm fed up of it being laid on thick. Fed up of the martyrdom around the sacrifice she's making for the children

CF said to me that I'm lucky to have my job (nurse full time shifts in A&E) as I just get to switch off when I leave and she's on the job from dawn to dusk.

AIBU to call her out on this, really feeling like I'd like to ask her what she really thinks other people do that's so much easier than teaching.

@puds11 Because if it’s primary she’s a fucking wet wipe!

Are you turning this into a primary vs secondary argument? They both have their own challenges!

GF thread

Thread about teacher pay/conditions manages to hit inaccurate comments about pay/conditions by page 2. 🙄

Sometimes people find their job tough and offload to friends. All jobs have their pros and cons. Seeing pros in someone else's job when you're feeling a bit down about your own is normal.
Friends hearing a friend struggling and deciding to play workplace moaning top trumps is ridiculous.

(Now to sit back and wait to see how many of the usual arguments get thrown around as it's been a week or so since the last "teachers think their lives are worse than anyone else" thread)

YANBU.

My friends partner is a teacher and the moaning is insane. He’s only been a teacher for two years.

He did his PGCE. He knew what he was getting in to.

The amount of unpaid overtime we do at my work is just insane and teachers aren’t the only people who work crazy hard.

He still feels the need to take the piss out of what my DH does though (financial services)

Just to reiterate @Gibbonsgibbonsgibbons and @snappycamper and anyone else, the summer holidays are not paid. They are taken unpaid, but a teacher's salary is averaged over the year.

Yanbu OP

OP- did you have to start this thread? You know that she is being a moaning drama queen.

But part of the reason she is being a moaning drama queen is that the world and his wife think they have the right to stick it to teachers. Just look at the number of threads of MN bitching about teachers.

The job is no harder than anyone else’s. Yours is probably more demanding. But it is pretty annoying to be the top of everyone’s shit list when they want to stick the boot in.

Look at the stereotypes:

Nurses= angels

Teachers= those who can’t, teach. (If I had a pound for everyone who ‘jokingly’ said that to me I wouldn’t need to teach anymore).

YANBU to call her out on it. Have a friend who left teaching at an inner city London school for a corporate job and is surprised that he still needs to work at evenings and weekends. My husband regularly clocks 80 hour weeks (but is well paid, and I realise teachers are not). There are lots of lovely teachers I know and I have one similar martyr on my Facebook, constantly posting about marking and long hours. Am usually reading her posts on a quick break as I work against a deadline and am still in the office at 8pm. I really need to mute her.

I work long hours but wouldn’t change my job for an A&E nurse. No way I could do what you do. Gets me stressed to think about it!

I work in the nhs and almost became a teacher but decided it too hard....tbh my mum a teacher and its hell. Nothing make me do it. Saying that yesterday i was doing home visit and returned too tried to do anything but collapse into bed after having to read dd a bedtime story as daddy didnt read it right..dh saw how tried i was so got her ready for bed etc and cooked tea

2 of my best friends are a teacher and an nhs nurse. Luckily neither of them whinge that much but my feeling (what do I know tho) is that nurses have it harder. My nurse friend regularly sees people die, it affects her. Teachers have the huge advantage of amazing holidays.
Both tough jobs, respect to both professions.
Yanbu to be pissed off about the moaning and comparisons.

@WombatStewForTea you can if you like, I couldn’t give a shit.

@JustACog

I’m a teacher and I salute those who work in the NHS. This teacher must be pretty insensitive if she really thinks nurses don’t take any aspects of their job home.

A&E nurses are a different breed...well done you! I think my eyes would roll so much they might never return to their correct position if I was having that conversation with your mate!

fancy seeing you here! 😂😂

Never mind, OP, it will be your half term holiday soon

I wouldn't get into competitive tiredness
but I kind of want her to shadow you for a shift!!!

Yeah, we know that nurses have the worst working conditions, work the longest hours and didn’t know what they were getting into when they signed up. And they never stop moaning about it, but never leave and get another job in an office. That’s what this thread is about, right?

@puds11
The point I'm trying to make is that you are! You're making out teaching primary is a piece of piss which makes me think you're a secondary teacher

*She's only been a teacher for the last 4 years after retraining

Think the reality of teaching being a lot different to the expectation of a 6 hr day and home for the kids has been a shock*

This is another issue- people are going into it for the wrong reasons and the general perception of what it entails is very wrong. You have to really want to do it to be able to stick it!

One point I'd like to make is that it's not as simple as people who don't like it should leave - they are - in their droves and so many don't like it but can't leave. If everyone who didn't like it left there would hardly be anyone left! It's not the teaching that's the issue- I love that part and the kids are fab. It's the culture of micromanagement, lack of respect and trust, pressure, workload, bureaucracy, lack of funding for anything and the meddling with the curriculum by those who have never taught. When so many have left or want to then that is when there is a fundamental issue across the job as a whole that needs to be addressed because teachers really are not afraid of hard work. So people leaving does not solve the problem and does not help our children when so many good teachers are gone. The statistics for teachers with mental health issues are shocking. I think one reason teachers complain to parent friends is because it is parents who will hold the key to change. Also I know I sometimes say it because my heart breaks for the School experience my children could have had before the changes that have utterly destroyed state Education in our country. If other parents can start to understand and support then they can fight for change and that is the only way it will come. But teachers do not help this cause by implying they work harder that anyone else. It I do think sometimes that is something perceived rather than intended by the complaining.

I voted YANBU because your friend sounds a bit wingey but I really agree with @BelleSausage. There is such a low level of respect for teachers in this country, compared to how nurses are revered (NB I nurses fully deserve the respect they get, i just think teachers also deserve respect).
Teachers are continually undermined and resented by parents, ridiculed in the press, mistrusted by inspectors, etc. I blame that 🤬 Gove.
...but then, as you may have guessed, I'm a teacher 😁 although tbf I very rarely winge about my job, I'm well paid and love my subject

People like playing ' top trumps' these days I'm afraid. It's about everything being worse than you have it or whatever. Seems to be a trend.

I work in a primary school as mere minion ( not teaching) and I can see how hard they work , but a nurse in any capacity works longer shifts and has it much harder than they do. I imagine for a secondary school teacher it's even more stressful, but working for the NHS is very difficult and hard , you can't compare the two really.
Difficult one to give any advice on. Is she a good friend in other ways ?

@WombatStewForTea think what you like 🤷‍♀️

Next time she does it asked her how many people she watched die that day. Bet she'll never mention it again.

There are a lot of people that she could play top trumps with and win but you are not one of them. For her to try shows a staggering lack of awareness and sensitivity.

I would call her out on it.

There's always someone worse off than you. I bet she'd rather keep her own woes than take a lucky dip from some of the things others are going through.

I think teaching is very hard and I couldn't, and would want to, do it. However, listening to someone tell you how much worse their job is than yours and how on and on about their difficulties etc is very annoying.

Also I'd rather be a teacher than a nurse! In my opinion any job where you are dealing with human life (nurses, doctors, surgeons, paramedics, firefighters) are the hardest.