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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Bored of teacher friend banging on about how hard her job is

388 replies

JustACog · 11/01/2020 17:52

Friend's a teacher and I'm tired of the chat about how her job is harder/longer/more stressful than everyone else's.

Almost every conversion now gets round to her moaning about how much she's overworked how much time she spends marking or planning. I do believe there is a lot of work involved in teaching and it's not a job I could do but I'm fed up of it being laid on thick. Fed up of the martyrdom around the sacrifice she's making for the children

CF said to me that I'm lucky to have my job (nurse full time shifts in A&E) as I just get to switch off when I leave and she's on the job from dawn to dusk.

AIBU to call her out on this, really feeling like I'd like to ask her what she really thinks other people do that's so much easier than teaching.

OP posts:

Piggywaspushed · 12/01/2020 15:50

But, likewise, lots of us know people who have left teaching for jobs with shorter holidays and they couldn't be happier. Any career changer will see positives.

Mistressiggi · 12/01/2020 15:52

Is anyone suggesting that teachers don't love the "time off between terms" How strange. I still find it odd that posters keep talking about four weeks holiday, as that is not the actual time anyone has off work in the Uk - never mind that many get better deals from their employers, the bank holidays don't just not happen.

Rezie · 12/01/2020 15:53

I've been around quite a few teachers and I've noticed that there are two types. The ones who believe they are doing the toughest job in the world and really give their everything and use a lot of evenings and weekends. Then there is the ones that only use the assigned hours for planning and only work form 8-4 even if it means more reusing tests, lessons and having a bit lower quality lessons. That's what the government clearly wants.

LaMarschallin · 12/01/2020 15:56

Any career changer will see positives.

Not necessarily.

But I take your point that a couple of people I know aren't going to be the basis for a scientific assessment of whether teachers feel disproportionately hard done by.

Nor is the primary school teacher friend who spends 4 weeks of the summer holidays with her mother, 2 weeks on a family holiday and has a meltdown on the last day because she needs to prepare for work. But gets that done in a day.
She told me once that she hates March, but didn't know why. Together we worked out that it's the one month she doesn't definitely get a holiday (depending on when Easter falls).

LaMarschallin · 12/01/2020 16:01

How strange. I still find it odd that posters keep talking about four weeks holiday, as that is not the actual time anyone has off work in the Uk

It was in one of the jobs I did and I did overnight on call (away from home) as well.

noblegiraffe · 12/01/2020 16:03

Then there is the ones that only use the assigned hours for planning and only work form 8-4 even if it means more reusing tests, lessons and having a bit lower quality lessons.

When do they do their marking, dealing with emails, data entry, reporting?

RunForBurritos · 12/01/2020 16:04

As a former secondary and primary school teacher ( now teaching at Uni), I know how overworked and underpaid teachers are. Nothing prepares you for the reality of it.
It is a bloody awful and thankless job.
However, YANBU at all.
Firstly, if she hates it that much she should reconsider her career.
I have , and I am very happy where I am now.
Secondly, it beyond rude and ignorant to make these comments about switching off to a nurse.
I bet you think about some of the horrid stuff you see at work all the time.
And nurses are overworked and underpaid too.
It would be cheeky to make that comment to anyone regardless of their job, because we have no idea how other jobs work.
But to say this to someone in your profession is ridiculous.
You should tell her that you get it, it is true that she is in a tough job, but so are you, and when you meet a mate you want to chill, not hear constant moaning.

RainMinusBow · 12/01/2020 16:30

A definite negative with working in education is a complete lack of flexibility.

I am a qualified teacher working as a 1:1 SEN HLTA. Technically, my hours of work are 8.30-3.40 (but I get in earlier than this and leave later).

This means I have literally no "physical" contact at all with my son's primary school. I am very fortunate in that I have parents in the same village who are able to do all of the school drop-offs and pick-ups. I can never attend anything at all in school hours eg. assemblies, plays, book fayres etc.

My fiancé works in social care and is afforded far more flexibility. He can often go in later if he needs to take son to school or leave earlier if he needs to collect him. He can attend the odd event in school hours. He can go to medical appointments within working hours and so on.

LaMarschallin · 12/01/2020 16:38

A definite negative with working in education is a complete lack of flexibility.

That's a good point.
A more trivial matter than not being able to attend your son's events but still valid, I think, is always having to go on holiday in the school holidays. Even if you don't have school age children.

Much more expensive, busier...
I really noticed the difference when my children started school.

Downton57 · 12/01/2020 16:55

Love not being stuck to school holiday dates now. It saves a fortune. But I've never heard a teacher complain about the school holidays, only non-teachers. They bang on and on about them, and it's really boring.

SmileEachDay · 12/01/2020 17:03

Then there is the ones that only use the assigned hours for planning and only work form 8-4 even if it means more reusing tests, lessons and having a bit lower quality lessons

If I only worked 8-4 I would not be able to ensure I had plans for all lessons and everything that needs marking marked. Just the basics. I can’t get it done in that amount of time, when I have 3 PPAs a week. And that’s before any of the other stuff that needs to be done.

LadyLightning · 12/01/2020 17:07

No one needs to around negativity - and to compare yourself to someone else is just a waste of everyones time. I dont care what the job is, if a friend only ever complain around it, I would want to ask that person why they dont change careers. And to complain to someone else working in a career where there are shortages, pressures etc, is just silly. She sounds like someone who likes to moan, which is not someone you need to be around.

LolaSmiles · 12/01/2020 17:14

LadyLightning I'm in agreement with you. There's a fine line between occasional ranting about work, or needing support through a tough period at work and bring the sort of moaning Minnie who positively adores any chance to complain and do things down.

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