To think teacher shouldn’t describe child as arrogant?

[pinkgreenpurpleblue]

AIBU to be uncomfortable with this adjective ascribed to (nearly 13 year old) child?

Depends on whether they were being arrogant or not.

Are they arrogant?

It means having an exaggerated sense of their own abilities (or importance)

The first seems really useful to me

I'd care more about whether my child was arrogant.

It’s obviously not a flattering description, but it’s not a rude one, if that makes sense.

It depends. Some students are very arrogant and there is no reason they shouldn’t be described as such.
If the teacher called him it because he/she was caught out in a lack of subject knowledge or something similar and it was sour grapes then that’s different.

Well it isn't a positive word, but if someone is arrogant, there isn't a positive way of saying that.

What word salad would you like them to use to convey that they are, in fact, arrogant?

Not if he was being arrogant

I probably wouldnt tell a parent that their child is arrogant. But some 13 year olds definitely are so if I was chatting to another teacher or having a rant to my husband, I could definitely use this word.

13 year olds are often arrogant

Or they can certainly come across that way and need to be told about it.

< Shrugs >

If it's the best word to describe the behaviour, shouldn't they use it?

Or would 'spirited' or 'self-assured' make you feel better?

Teachers should never NEVER tell the truth

Seriously, I've been a teacher for 21 years. There are too many parents who are totally unable to handle the truth.

What’s the context? Were they being arrogant? What’s the situation? Difficult to say without more info

And apologies am assuming it was a boy who was called it as in my large amount of experience it is normally boys who display this characteristic.

There wasn’t a context, it was a general comment. X is arrogant.

Presumably she said it because he's arrogant. How else would you want her to put it?

Maybe just discuss child’s academic abilities and behaviour and not pass comment on her personal view?

@pinkgreenpurpleblue but who did they say it to? You? The child? Are you the child‘s parent? Who did they say it?

I would question the remark if your DC is a girl or person of colour - many institutions often mistake unhelpfulness, lack of humility or self-confidence as arrogance in girls / people of colour. And I wouldn’t want my child to tampen down any of those traits to make a grown adult feel better about their lives.

Can think of quite a few I teach who are arrogant. I'd probably try and describe the behaviour without using the word arrogant to their parent though, as it seems a bit triggery.
Some kids do think the sun shines out of their arse and we should all bask in their glow though.

So you would have preferred the teacher to say "X behaves in an arrogant fashion"?

I think you need to focus on your child's behaviour rather than pedantry over how the teacher expressed the issue.

Of course there's context, op. Impossible for there not to be.

Was it said to the parent of the child?
As part of a conversation about behaviour, or ability?
In a private conversation or at pick up / drop off with everyone milling about?

Basically we need who, when, where and why. And what was said by both parties immediately before and after.

Maybe just discuss child’s academic abilities and behaviour and not pass comment on her personal view?

Arrogance is very much part of behaviour.

If your kid is behaving in an arrogant manner, it's needs to be dealt with.

That'd be much easier with parental support too...