To think teacher shouldn’t describe child as arrogant?

[pinkgreenpurpleblue]

AIBU to be uncomfortable with this adjective ascribed to (nearly 13 year old) child?

Yes. As a teacher I would and have many times.

Cross posted with Worra.

Many adults are arragont 😂

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DH got it a number of times, both written in reports, and verbally.

He cops to it. He was an arrogant little shit.

Try looking at your child objectively, or through the lens of the teacher. Do you think they could come across as arrogant?

Our eldest is very similar - we've had to explain to her why some attitudes and behaviours that she unconsciously displays, are not going to endear her to people, and sometimes could land her in a world of unsought shit.

Ah okay. In that context as your child is a female high performer I think the teacher might have used arrogant as a way of saying not nice. That’s fine. Girls don’t have to be nice if they don’t want to be. Boys never get picked out on that kind of shit. Let it go and chalk it up to the teacher being a misogynist.

GrumpyHoonMain

Boys never get picked out on that kind of shit.

haha

I think the difference here is that good behaviour doesn't need correcting but bad behaviour does.
Arrogance is an attitude that is displayed and can be shown in behaviour.

For example one of the most arrogant students I ever taught looked down on staff like we weren't worthy to teach him. He delighted in trying to claim he was more intelligent than he was. He would ignore feedback and routinely decide he knew best. It ran through their behaviour and interactions like a stick of rock.

Thankfully this child's parents knew exactly how their child could be. Other parents I've met would be more concerned with arguing the teachers were wrong and that there was a personality clash with their darling child.

If the child is arrogant then why can't the teacher say the child is a cocky little shit arrogant?

Boys tend to be the worst!

Book another appointment with the teacher to understand more about the behaviour. You can then judge better. Expecting strangers to unpick your issue when you don’t have full details yourself is not going to help you

I've described students as arrogant before. Often it is their attitude towards me or the subject. Usually this manifests itself into not listening properly to explanations, sighing when other students make a mistake and not showing working out because they assume they will get the correct answer.

If your child is arrogant I'd be asking for more detail and challenging this with your child.

Ah okay. In that context as your child is a female high performer I think the teacher might have used arrogant as a way of saying not nice. That’s fine. Girls don’t have to be nice if they don’t want to be. Boys never get picked out on that kind of shit. Let it go and chalk it up to the teacher being a misogynist.

Words fail as to how you arrived at this ridiculous conclusion.

So you asked how your child was arrogant and the teacher didn't respond because there was a queue? She surely would have said something.

Generally people who are arrogant don't make as much progress as they could because they don't take on advice as easily. Students can be arrogant just like some are careless, inattentive, conscientious etc. It is a comment related to her attitude to work. It is therefore justifiable. The problem is that you don't like it. If the teacher had said your child was conscientious and thoughtful, you would not be complaining that she should stick to academic results!

If X is arrogant (like Xs mother) then it's not against any rules to say it.
Not unprofessional.

Unprofessional would be :
'X is an obnoxious little shit that makes my lessons hell, nothing is good enough for x and x is destroying the classes education with Xs unbearable behaviour'

I would say that if the teacher said “arrogant” she probably was putting it mildly. Usually the word chosen is the one to cause least offence whilst still being accurate... I would be having a word with my DC if I was you about their behaviour in class, most likely towards his peers

Because parents like the OP get all pissy about any criticism of their offspring, teachers simply stop telling them the truth. The consequences of that should be obvious.

Arrogant can effect academic performance, as well as being not nice to others around.

If they are arrogant about their work they often won't accept corrections, and don't work as hard as they could. I've seen on several occasions those who were arrogant about their work in year 9 getting a shock in year 11 at mocks when they find that they're right down the grades as they have thought they don't need to put the effort in.

If my dc was described as such I’d be asking them if they were taking feedback from the teacher and respecting the teachers knowledge. And I’d be asking them if they were genuinely listening to their peers opinions and pointing out that the most successful performers sow humility and willingness to learn from Others and are good team players.

Was he arrogant? If yes, no problem.

i think if the child is arrogant then its a fair statement. also i would want to know if my child was as i dont personally think its a nice trait.

now if she had said "your childs a dick", thats rude.

It's a judgement not a descriptor. Amazed at some of the points of views here.

I would decipher 'well behaved but arrogant' as child correcting the teacher quite regularly, child wholeheartedly believing they know more than teacher and are better than teacher. (Behaviour often exhibited by privileged children).
Also possibly, child being superior and condescending, not only to teacher but to fellow students.
The teacher will have a degree in the subject and it's hard work, class teaching without a superior condescending smartarse pulling you up reguarly.