To think teacher shouldn’t describe child as arrogant?

[pinkgreenpurpleblue]

AIBU to be uncomfortable with this adjective ascribed to (nearly 13 year old) child?

Well, the teacher didn't say he was being a little shit, in this instance.

I do think the point made by the teacher about what it's like for teachers on Parent/Teacher evening should be taken on board. They're having parents banged in front of them for five minutes, one after the other, having to try to remember which parent/which kid.

I agree with other posters, that ideally, nuance and example should have been used, but then again, I refer to the point above.

Best thing to do would be to make a follow up appointment where neither party has the pressure of other parents backing up, to get an idea of why the teacher said this, perhaps?

Well, they could have used 'cocky' instead I suppose.
I can think of three children I would have described as arrogant.
One was a complete gobshite who thought it fine to try and undermine me in class (wrt sanctions as opposed to knowledge). Parent said it was a personality clash and she had been brought up to express her opinions robustly. Ahem. apple did not fall far from the tree
Second was a Besserwisser (Know it all) who was up himself as he was a native speaker. He was good, absolutely, but did not want to hear about any grammar mistakes he was making.
Third was a lad who was gifted, could be funny, but acted as if everything was beneath him and showed disrespect to many teachers he claimed were boring/couldn't teach him anything.

If it's an argument over essays/coursework that would tell me your daughter is arguing the hind leg of a donkey why she wasn't awarded more points for x/y and does not trust the teacher's professional opinion despite the fact that the piece of work has probably been cross-moderated and the teacher knows what they're doing.
Perhaps they have been told how to improve but either do not accept that feedback, do not want to do a redraft or do not understand the advice they are being given.
It might be wise to read the essay yourself and talk to DD as to what shew has been told wrt the level allocated.

DivGirl you have hit the nail on the head.

Arrogant people seem to get on in life so I wouldn't worry too much about it.

So character flaws don’t matter, just money and position?

no detentions, notes in planner (I do check) or negatives on his conduct card.
so he doesn't cross the line. It doesn't mean he's not arrogant.

It is very difficult to mete out punishments for arrogance. Neutral conduct points perhaps reveal this.

There is a top set of very high achieving boys a my school.They do very well but some of the girls openly dislike (even fear) them. They bowl about like they own the place, are superior in their attitudes to others (including teachers) and , my, do they love themselves. But they don't (usually) do anything naughty.

Personally, I quite like teaching them : but they can make other teachers quite miserable (deliberately) especially younger , female and/or supply teachers.

Arrogant people seem to get on in life
only if they can back it up.

I’m not in your classroom lola

piggy, she did say tacked onto positives ’but he is arrogant.’ I asked what she meant and she repeated it. Then I had to go. I can’t really tell him what to do / not to do as I don’t know any more than that.

Speaking in generalisations, arrogent pupils are tough to teach as they don't listen to and process advice in order to perform to their optimum potential because they apparently already know best. Particularly tough ones are those who don't need the education system and are merely biding their time until they are secured a glowing future in daddy's business...

DS has a potential arrogent streak about him, part of his ASD as his empathy is not always well rounded, and sometimes he does fail to connect that people have different strengths and weaknesses, and not sharing his niche topic of interest in great detail is not necessarily a sign of someone elses inferiority. It tends to come out when he's feeling stressy and build a sense of control around himself. It's not an issue in school so far, but then he's not a teenager yet. It wouldn't shock me if a secondary teacher interpreted him as arrogent in the future, and if he was, I'd want to know so we can discuss the situation and try to balance the expectations between the two parties.

Well no piggy they have a conduct card where teachers either fill in positives or negatives or leave it blank (neutral) and he’s only ever had positives, and maybe two negatives but one of those was for forgetting his tie and another was for running in the corridor which I did tell him not to do. Both those were in year 7, in any event.

@pinkgreenpurpleblue
Are you hand on heart saying you’ve absolutely no inclination to believe the teacher? Are you the parent that can see no fault in your child?
Your child should not be arguing with a teacher, it’s rude and disrespectful.

Speaking in generalisations, arrogent pupils are tough to teach as they don't listen to and process advice in order to perform to their optimum potential because they apparently already know best.

Yep. I’ve sat there eating my lunch while several able but arrogant students tried to argue the toss with me about their marks. Bottom line as I told them: I’m a qualified teacher with twice their life experience. If they think they can mark their work themselves, they no longer need a teacher. If they want to be taught, they need to listen.

I’m not in your classroom lola

I know you're not.
I'm just pointing out that not having detentions or behaviour reports doesn't mean a student isn't arrogant.
As many of us have said, it's entirely possible that a student can be well behaved and arrogant.

I'm wondering if this is another 'apple/tree' scenario.

Ah sorry, your son not daughter. My other points stay the same. He either takes on board the feedback given with regard to essays, coursework, mocks etc or he argues the toss. The latter would make him arrogant but shy boys don't get biscuits I suppose - Will you be asking for remarks for his exam results?

Do (some) of you, and I don’t mean people like piggy who have been helpful, realise how unpleasant you’re being?

He’s YEAR EIGHT. He isn’t even DOING any exams for another Three years.

He’s YEAR EIGHT. He isn’t even DOING any exams for another Three years.

Then you have plenty of time.

Actually if this was my son I’d ask her again what she meant.

It’s about his character so I’d want to know examples of what he was doing for her to state that.

But - your talking about a teacher.. you are aware your not supposed to question them on here don’t you...

@pinkgreenpurpleblue

I apologise. I shouldn't have posted that.

he’s been arguing about his essays (sad face or your DD?

Doesn’t matter either way. Be honest, OP, do you think your child can come across as arrogant?

I personally think it’s about time teachers started to be more honest about their pupils, than the ‘parcel everything up in fluffy language’ nonsense that has gone on for far too long.

Arrogance is an awful trait. If the teacher said it, then there just might be something in it.

It does not matter when hes doing his exams really, hes being arrogant and your his mother you need to sort him out, sit him down and have a disscussion with him about his arrogance.

I've taught hundreds of children and the arrogant ones tend to be the ones who've always been told they're clever, well mannered etc etc. Of course they become arrogant. It just means that your DC thinks that they know it all and your teacher is sharing that with you. I'd start appreciating that your DC's teacher feels they can be honest with you. Now it's time to back them up and tell your DC they they don't know it all and need to stop being arrogant!!

You are being quite vague in your descriptions because you were given vague information. Other people are asking you to explain further, which you are understandably unable to do due to the vague information and lack of time to pursue it.

Having a go at other posters who are trying to help will not help you in the long run. I would suggest you follow this up directly with the teacher another time rather than just project your feelings online without accepting any advice on a forum.