Edward has had a more unconventional approach to Royal life and lives a more low key family life with a less conventional wife. His family is a similar dynamic to Harry's.
Why is Harry not allowed the same choice?
Sophie Wessex tried to carry on running her PR firm but had to give it up because the conflict of interest between being in the RF and being a PR was too much. Even if she tried not to exploit her royal connection her clients would often exploit it anyway.
Sophie is now a very, very conventional royal wife. She and Edward quietly and with little fanfare do a lot of low key but valuable royal work. They go to widget factories in Dudley and shake hands with Indonesian investors in British business. Sophie came to a Uni I worked at to view some research. She came, not one person was outside for her. No crowd, no paparazzi. She went inside, was very nice, asked questions, thanked some of the funders, had her picture taken then left. Wasn't in the Sun or Mail but it was in trade papers and niche publications which led to interest in the research, collaborative opportunities, interested purchasers and recognition of all involved.
It would be perfectly possible for Meghan and Harry to live the same sort of dull and dutiful life cutting ribbons and raising their kids in the countryside, but they just don't want to.
Meghan in particular only seems to be enthused about engagements where A List US stars attended or there was opportunity for virtue signalling and woke posturing. The day after she attended the Lion King premiere and she met Beyoncé, Jay-Z and Pharrell, Meghan opted not to join Harry on a trip to open a new children's hospital in the industrial north.
They don't actually want to live like Sophie and Edward.