Getting kids to school on time

[MarkyTinTin]

I’m a working dad but lucky enough to work from home 2 days a week so I can take my two dds to school those days. I always get them to school ASAP after it opens - my older d hates being late

Wife does not work but gets the dds to school late every day she has to take the. Not hugely late but always a couple of minutes. I can’t do anything about it and she is habitually late for everything. it’s having an impact on kids and our marriage as I think totally unacceptable. Have tried talking about it and playing the “be on time for the sake of our d” card but nothing changes - this has been 2 years now and at my wits end / stuck for solutions. We have no traffic issues and it’s just down to her leaving 10 mins earlier each day. Am I being unreasonable expecting our children to be delivered on time to school and can anyone advise on alternative strategies to change this behaviour (assuming unacceptable?).

I would give up my job to get them to school on time, but dw is not looking for work so we would lose everything. I can’t stand it any more - grateful for some ideas / alternative strategies please! Thank you 🙏

[Rinoachicken]

Too depressed to do any housework or get anywhere on time but not too depressed to spend an hour are her fucking makeup??

[JKScot4]

@notaregularmom
Next post you see about a cocklodger of a man be sure and comment he’s depressed and not a lazy useless arse.

[Makesmilingyourbesthobby]

This isn’t ok, punctuality is an important aspect of life for the children to learn and I’m not surprised it’s effecting one of your DC, in my children’s school it’s the same group of mothers who are always late and the children are always upset going into class when I see them, me and my DC walk the 15 minutes to her school so when I’m getting back outside our house, 9 times out of ten my neighbour is opening her door to take her DC to school so reality is my child has been out of the house for half a hour already for school by the time they roll out the door, shes shouting at her DC and in a bad mood every time more than likely because they are late the child is always flustered and rushing, they jump in the car and neither bother with seatbelts and drive off, I’m fairly certain it’s because she doesn’t get up till 8 in the morning as that’s when lights go on and curtains tend to open in theirs when I’ve noticed and shes generally a very lazy person/parent, I know of another mother who i consider lazy too but her DP takes the children to school everyday on his way to work but I know if it’s raining she rings DP to leave work to pick them up from school the most awful thing about it I think is how have a lazy parent effects the children and their relationship with their parents, it’s sad to watch them children when they are trying to have a conversation with their mothers and how strained the relationship can be, I’d be having a good talk with my partner about how she needs to pull her boots up if that fails I’d consider ending the relationship all together for me and the children for numerous reasons

[Thestrangestthing]

I love how you started a thread about your wife, under the guise of being annoyed about your dds being a few mins late for school every day, and within a few posts have dripped in that your wife doesn't work, you slog it out in a 16 hour a day job, and then come home to do all the house work, while she sits bone idle, doing her make up all day and doesn't care about you at all 😂

[CosmoK]

I love how you started a thread about your wife, under the guise of being annoyed about your dds being a few mins late for school every day, and within a few posts have dripped in that your wife doesn't work, you slog it out in a 16 hour a day job, and then come home to do all the house work, while she sits bone idle, doing her make up all day and doesn't care about you at all

Just like dozens of female posters do complaining about their husbands and partners. The double standards on this thread is shocking

[Thestrangestthing]

I always get them to school ASAP after it opens

Also, what does this mean? You are technically late every day Too, just not as late as your wife? It is possible to arrive at school before the doors open.

[Thestrangestthing]

CosmoK

As you will kotice I didn't say he was unreasonable, just think it strange when people do this, as the OP is clearly not the main problem.

[Thestrangestthing]

Would love to know how me pointing that out is a double standard? Unless you are, for some reason, under the impression I would have exactly the same response to a woman who posted this about her husband.

[Thestrangestthing]

If that's the case, why do you think that?

[Palavah]

@Thestrangestthing surely the OP is means ASAP after the gates open, not ASAP after the bell goes.

[Bubblesgun]

I grew up with a chronically late mum. I was late at school, last to arrive at clubs when groups would be made already, waiting outside the library as it was closed until she would eventually turn up. So here are the few things i know:

1. It will have an impact on the kids. It is so awful to be the late one AND for us not to be able to do anything about it ie. i was dependant on my mum until i was old enough to go places on my own;
   

It is stressfull and didnt help my anxieties.

1. To this day I CANNOT be late and so are my sisters;
   

1. My mum doesnt know how to manage her time. She was never taught and she never learnt. So I cut her some slacks. It is a life skill to be taught time management which i spend an enormous amount of time teaching my kids and they are improving.
   

So instead of being at your wits end. Be kind and teach your wife, explain to her how long tasks take, break it down for her, build a timeline of the morning together. Rope in your kids, give them all a watch. But please do all of that in a KIND way.
Explain that nothing has to change, she only needs to make sure she is ready before the kids are up. Help her noticing how time passes.

It WILL improve if tou work together ans re kind to each other.

[Thestrangestthing]

@Palavah

I have no idea, that's why I'm asking. At out school the gates are always open.

[CosmoK]

Would love to know how me pointing that out is a double standard? Unless you are, for some reason, under the impression I would have exactly the same response to a woman who posted this about her husband

Well, would you say the same thing to a women posting about her husband?? Obviously at this stage you'll say yes but i very much doubt it

[Thestrangestthing]

CosmoK
Why would you doubt it? You don't even know if I am a woman

[JKScot4]

@bubbles
Are you serious? He’s to kindly teach his wife and give the kids watches and rope them in to teach a lazy selfish adult? Unless she has SEN your suggestion is ridiculous, maybe this what you should advise all the MN women with useless men 🙄🙄

[Kirigiri]

This has been picked up by the media www.liverpoolecho.co.uk/whats-on/family-kids-news/dads-rant-wife-always-taking-17531031

[Thestrangestthing]

Threads like this always make me suspicious. An op comes in with a small complaint, a few posts in and they have given some wild details about how terrible the situation actually is, then they never return and everyone falls for it, hook, line and sinker.

[Thestrangestthing]

Oh and there we go, coincidently the OP hasn't returned and it's popped up in the media 😂 while everyone on here is pouncing on each other.

[CookieDoughKid]

This is not acceptable at all. This equates to minimum 3 hours per child over a month of missed school hours. So that's 6 hours for 2 children.

It sets a bad tone for your children and is quite disrespectful to the teachers that get that arse out the door on time - and many teachers have children themselves - to serve your children.

The mother can do a better job and she needs to be held accountable. Her hourly presentation of herself is not a priority before school.

[Bubblesgun]

@ JKScot4

Yes absolutely. There are lots of things you can learn when you are an adult when you have a compassionate partner to support and help you.
Clearly there is something wrong and needs to be addressed. Yes of course you can divorce that person and not deal with it. Or you can invest time and create positive changes for the long run.

The first one punishes the kids (breaking the family, letting them be on their own with the failing parent, etc); the second option brings a positive outcome to all. But yes, it takes time and love. My dad loved my mum and now she is a lot better.
I love my kids so I am teaching them and I can see the improvements everyday.

[Sparklingplasters]

in your shoes I would be a big bundle of resentment.

Short term can you use breakfast club or a childminder for school?

Mid term can you book some couples counselling and if needed treatment for depression for your wife?

Longer term discuss life goals, jobs, can you get something with shorter hours/closer to home?

[CookieDoughKid]

Tell your wife she needs to go back to work or she needs to pull her socks up. Being a sahm is a job.

[PanicAndRun]

I think it's essential to clarify the lateness.

Is it a few minutes after OP would normally get there ?

A few minutes after the bell has gone?

A few minutes after the gates are shut and she needs to sign them at the office every time?


The first one is a non issue.

The second can be annoying but not the end of the world and an easy fix.

The third is an issue and disruptive /upsetting and the school will raise concerns.

[Herpesfreesince03]

THI STORYS MADE THE LIVERPOOL ECHO BTW 😂😂😂😂 some of you have been quoted

[Herpesfreesince03]

@MarkyTinTin you’re in the echo