Getting kids to school on time

[MarkyTinTin]

I’m a working dad but lucky enough to work from home 2 days a week so I can take my two dds to school those days. I always get them to school ASAP after it opens - my older d hates being late

Wife does not work but gets the dds to school late every day she has to take the. Not hugely late but always a couple of minutes. I can’t do anything about it and she is habitually late for everything. it’s having an impact on kids and our marriage as I think totally unacceptable. Have tried talking about it and playing the “be on time for the sake of our d” card but nothing changes - this has been 2 years now and at my wits end / stuck for solutions. We have no traffic issues and it’s just down to her leaving 10 mins earlier each day. Am I being unreasonable expecting our children to be delivered on time to school and can anyone advise on alternative strategies to change this behaviour (assuming unacceptable?).

I would give up my job to get them to school on time, but dw is not looking for work so we would lose everything. I can’t stand it any more - grateful for some ideas / alternative strategies please! Thank you 🙏

[CookieDoughKid]

VenusTiger

[VenusTiger]

@CookieDoughKid Being a sahm is a job. my fave comment on this thread. TY.

[gingerbiscuits]

Don't mean to be rude but if she doesn't work & your children are in school, what is she doing all day & why do you have to cook & do laundry in the evening?

As for the lateness, I agree with you- it IS a big deal! I'm amazed that the school haven't mentioned it - ours would!

[JKScot4]

@strange
Grounds yes but not the building, every school I’ve been in in Scotland has a secure entrance door.

[Thestrangestthing]

The have school gates which get locked, but it's bloody pointless as you can enter the school grounds from other points around the schools where there are no gates.

[Thestrangestthing]

@Nanny0gg

I live not far from Dunblane. One of my very close friends lost her cousin. You can enter both primary schools and the high schools grounds at any time, day or night where we live 🤷‍♀️

[converseandjeans]

YANBU it is her responsibility for a few mornings a week. As a teacher I would say it's really disruptive having kids turn up late. If everyone rocked up 5-10 mins late it would be chaos.
In primary I think they use that time eg for reading, getting work handed in, going to assembly.

Why is she faffing about doing herself up instead of getting kids up in time for proper breakfast?

You'll get a hard time on here commenting on fact she is SAHM. However you work and manage to get kids there on time.

I would ask for help discreetly from school - explain to them. They may support you by calling her in for a chat. It might embarrass her into getting them there on time.

I always feel sorry for the kids who are constantly late - so embarrassing for them. Out of their control too.

[KindnessCrusader]

How late are we talking? 5/10 minutes? If so I wouldn’t worry. I am like this a lot of the time- it is due to underestimating how long things will take and being disorganised. In the grand scheme of things a little lateness isn’t that big a deal if the school aren’t raising concerns. My children are at a private school and there are loads of parents like me who are successful in other areas of their life but always five minutes late for school!

^that is SO inconsiderate! It's disruptive and unfair on the children and parents who bothered to show up on time.

[Nanny0gg]

I have no idea, that's why I'm asking. At out school the gates are always open.

That's unusual since Dunblane, most are locked except at certain times.

[Thestrangestthing]

This is made up

[Thestrangestthing]

The troll post.

[Mummyeyes]

@Thestrangestthing what do you mean? I am new to Mumsnet and I see people saying "you have all fallen for it" on a few threads. What have we fallen for? How are we gullible?

[Thestrangestthing]

It always becomes interesting when the male op claims the wife does nothing for her kids, earns no money and spends her whole morning putting on make up, to the point her children don't have time to eat 😂. If that was actually the case, what self respecting father would allow it? Love how gullible some people are.

[SoupDragon]

Echo... echo... echo...

Not exciting enough for the Mail.

[Di11y]

we have an alexa that you can set alarms and reminders on. your 7yo is likely old enough to hear shoes on time and get the 5yo doing it, then leaving time and mag mum. if you set them 10 mins before needed might help.

[Herpesfreesince03]

Echo

[Herpesfreesince03]

@MarkyTinTin you’re in the echo

[Herpesfreesince03]

THI STORYS MADE THE LIVERPOOL ECHO BTW 😂😂😂😂 some of you have been quoted

[PanicAndRun]

I think it's essential to clarify the lateness.

Is it a few minutes after OP would normally get there ?

A few minutes after the bell has gone?

A few minutes after the gates are shut and she needs to sign them at the office every time?


The first one is a non issue.

The second can be annoying but not the end of the world and an easy fix.

The third is an issue and disruptive /upsetting and the school will raise concerns.

[CookieDoughKid]

Tell your wife she needs to go back to work or she needs to pull her socks up. Being a sahm is a job.

[Sparklingplasters]

in your shoes I would be a big bundle of resentment.

Short term can you use breakfast club or a childminder for school?

Mid term can you book some couples counselling and if needed treatment for depression for your wife?

Longer term discuss life goals, jobs, can you get something with shorter hours/closer to home?

[Bubblesgun]

@ JKScot4

Yes absolutely. There are lots of things you can learn when you are an adult when you have a compassionate partner to support and help you.
Clearly there is something wrong and needs to be addressed. Yes of course you can divorce that person and not deal with it. Or you can invest time and create positive changes for the long run.

The first one punishes the kids (breaking the family, letting them be on their own with the failing parent, etc); the second option brings a positive outcome to all. But yes, it takes time and love. My dad loved my mum and now she is a lot better.
I love my kids so I am teaching them and I can see the improvements everyday.

[CookieDoughKid]

This is not acceptable at all. This equates to minimum 3 hours per child over a month of missed school hours. So that's 6 hours for 2 children.

It sets a bad tone for your children and is quite disrespectful to the teachers that get that arse out the door on time - and many teachers have children themselves - to serve your children.

The mother can do a better job and she needs to be held accountable. Her hourly presentation of herself is not a priority before school.

[Thestrangestthing]

Oh and there we go, coincidently the OP hasn't returned and it's popped up in the media 😂 while everyone on here is pouncing on each other.

[Thestrangestthing]

Threads like this always make me suspicious. An op comes in with a small complaint, a few posts in and they have given some wild details about how terrible the situation actually is, then they never return and everyone falls for it, hook, line and sinker.