Acquaintance (not even a friend) expecting people to cater at her event

[Hellokitty82]

What do people think about this

So a Mum at school (not even a close friend a Mum of my child's classmate) has set up a group and invited a load of us to "her 40th birthday party"

She's hired a village hall 15 miles from our village (as she said it's a lovely hall)

There will be a disco (her brother in law is a DJ) and a mobile Bar

All ok so far except for driving 15 miles!!

Then she's put on Facebook a list of party food and asked people what they will be bringing???? Wtf

I've NEVER gone to a party and been asked to cater for it and when it's been any of our party's I always fully cater myself.

She's not exactly skint either - her and her partner/husband have a big house, 2 nice cars and a holiday house so my first impression is she is taking the piss

Lots of talk at the school gates people saying it's out of order and they're not going I'm inclined to do the same - I barely know the woman (only to say hello too)

What do people think?

You don't have to go!

@Knittedfairies
That's exactly what my partner said.....

I just can't get over how cheeky it is. I wouldn't dream of it!

I think I would hate to be part of your school community where so many people are handwringing and frothing over this. Get over yourselves. Yes, it’s better etiquette to cater for a party you’re hosting, but it’s also good etiquette to politely turn down an invite that doesn’t suit you. Instead you’re bitching about it and her financial situation. You have no moral high ground here.

I think you shouldn't go to the party and then you won't have to be bothered by her utterly ridiculous notions. Decline the invite. Then leave the group chat. Or stay in the chat for a laugh if you wish to read further demands on those who will bow down to her and go.

Don’t go - sorted.

Do you like her? Could it be a good night? If not then I’d offer a bemused decline.

Is it high end party food or few sausage rolls type demand?

I went to a wedding like this I think you are being unreasonable.

I wouldn’t go.

@EmiliaAirheart
I'm just saying that she is very well off not bitching about her financial situation at all but wondering why she's taking the piss?? It's all a bit odd.

I don't need to get over myself whatsoever - there's nothing to get over to be honest I was merely asking what people thought to her demands and whether anyone else had experienced this.

Never heard of a party like this before, especially if they can afford catering. Definitely don't go.

Sounds like you’re invited to make up numbers anyway, so I wouldn’t go. FWIW my family always want to contribute food so I would maybe(!!) ask them what if anything they were intending to bring but not to random guests! And especially ones I don’t bloody know!!

She's not a friend so don't go. It ain't rocket science. Really don't see what's wrong with asking people to bring food though. I went to a christening like that and it was fantastic.

It's just like a pot luck then? It's a bit unusual but hardly the crime of the century. A bit like BYOB etc.

It's a bit odd you're even invited if you barely know her. I have been to a few pot luck parties where people bring a dish each but that tends to be among families (the last one was a family reunion - the same relative hosts it every year due to location and we felt it was unfair to expect them to always cater for loads of us). What is she asking you to bring? It seems odd to bother to even ask for crisps and sausage rolls etc but if she's asking for higher end stuff it's cheeky - not sure which is worse.
That said I don't think I'd be up in arms about it - it's mainly strange! I guess if I thought it would be fun I'd go and bring something otherwise give it a miss.

I'm waiting for the run down on how it went or didn't go

It's a potluck party 🤷‍♀️ and you dont KNOW her financial situation your not her accountant

A pot luck's hardly a massively unusual thing. Asking people to bring some food rather than getting dozens of random gifts you don't really need seems quite sensible really.

I mean don't go if you don't want but it hardly makes her a CF. Bitching about it behind her back is pretty mean spirited.

I’ve been to countless parties/ weddings/ gatherings where everyone is asked to bring food. Seems normal enough to me.

I’m in Aus and it’s pretty common here if invited to a party to ask if we could bring something. Guests will often BYO alcoholic drinks and a salad or side. So it doesn’t seem weird to me

I really do not think this is the Piss Take you think it is. Asking you all to contribute money would be. A contribution of food will cost a few pounds, just because she has money doesn’t mean she should pay for everything. And anyway it’s none of your business. I think it’s recent snobbery to host massive parties and feed all,

With all the food rules these days I think she extremely wise. Only way to cater to everyone’s taste, wish, allergy, intolerance, preference.

It's quite normal here to take a dish to a party - instead of a present or a bottle.
The 15 miles would swing it for me - no chance!!!

Don’t really see the issue. Been to parties like this and it’s fine.

I went to a wedding reception in summer where they supplied all sides, salads, snacks, soft drinks etc. and we were to bring whatever we’d like bbq-d. It was the most relaxing, enjoyable wedding reception ever. Sometimes it’s just nice to try, not bitch and complain.

I'd be tempted to respond with something along the lines of, 'wow I was going to bring a present but put me down for a bowl of salad, I love a cheap night out'

Sounds odd to me as you dont know her more than just a "hello"! Do you mean she has set up a whatsapp group - if so how did she get your number?