Acquaintance (not even a friend) expecting people to cater at her event

[Hellokitty82]

What do people think about this

So a Mum at school (not even a close friend a Mum of my child's classmate) has set up a group and invited a load of us to "her 40th birthday party"

She's hired a village hall 15 miles from our village (as she said it's a lovely hall)

There will be a disco (her brother in law is a DJ) and a mobile Bar

All ok so far except for driving 15 miles!!

Then she's put on Facebook a list of party food and asked people what they will be bringing???? Wtf

I've NEVER gone to a party and been asked to cater for it and when it's been any of our party's I always fully cater myself.

She's not exactly skint either - her and her partner/husband have a big house, 2 nice cars and a holiday house so my first impression is she is taking the piss

Lots of talk at the school gates people saying it's out of order and they're not going I'm inclined to do the same - I barely know the woman (only to say hello too)

What do people think?

Not something I'd be asking of people I barely know, if I'm honest.
BUT
'Thanks for the responses

It's not pot luck - I just think it's demanding and quite rude really, she's not family or a close friend and I agree with people, definitely bad etiquette I reckon plus she's listing specific expensive things...'

I wonder if you have already made your mind up, only want to hear people who agree with you, and just want to extend the gossip beyond the playground?
Otherwise, no reason why you wouldn't just decline the invite and move on with your life.

Also, people saying half the guest list have declined, doesn't the OP say 23/80???

In updates she then says 41 have declined

so many people have declined, 41 to be approximate

It sounds like this party won't go ahead then.

On FB I often find events don't look as though they'll be well attended, but not everyone is on FB and quite often friends and close family have more direct invitations.
I guess if I was inclined towards the gossip at the school gate, the catering plans might crop up in conversation. I do wonder, though, if this would have been posted if the host had been a close friend rather than someone to be kept at arm's length and judged though.

Couldn't be arsed to,drive 15 miles to be honest.

If she'd invited everyone to a potluck party from the outset,
said bring food or drink instead of presents - and not mentioned bringing money - brilliant !

15 miles is OK for some people, even for mere acquaintances

But:
it's bring specified dishes, instead of the usual "bring main / salad / pud / bottle"
Don't bring alcohol - you have to pay for that
and the request for Euros is very cheeky at almost any kind of party

It could have been a lovely event, but those demands would put off many folk

*Vegan cupcakes and feta salad aren't expensive...

£4-10 max each*

To a lot of people that is expensive.

Not going to read 13 pages, but from the OP it sounds like a lovely party to me. You are not being asked to cater, but to bring one plate of food. It was kind of her to invite you. If you don't fancy it, decline.

"Gluten free canapés"
"vegan cupcakes"
"Poached salmon"
"Couscous with roasted vegetables"
"Greek salad with feta"

Bahaha, id decline based on the menu alone.
Vegan cupcakes suck, sorry they do
gluten free canapes? i dont wanna research
Salmon? allergic
I wouldnt even make cous cous and roast for myself, i hate cooking

then add in the asking for money? get fucked....
You want a fancy party, you pay for a fancy party. You want a holiday, you pay for it

Oh and im an aussie, whats normal here is BYO drinks, a potato salad or coleslaw, a desert kind of thing and thats at a family or friends party.
Not one of the random schools mums 40th who you only wave and say hi in passing to.

Vegan cupcakes and feta salad aren't expensive...£4-10 max each

To a lot of people that is expensive.

And it's not just the money.

Squeekums, my DS is coeliac, maybe the gluten-free canapés are for someone like him?

And lots of people are doing Veganuary.

If you're allergic, you don't have to eat the salmon. My DS probably wouldn't be able to eat anything except the GF canapés.

There are some nasty criticisms of the party host on this thread, but at least she is planning an inclusive menu.

Our family do this but I'd never dream of doing it to people I barely knew! 😮
I wouldn't go, especially since I didn't know her!

There are some nasty criticisms of the party host on this thread,

Because she's not a "host". A "host" provides food, drinks and entertainment for their guests. She's not doing that- she's asking her guests to provide the food, pay for their own drinks, travel to get there and then give her cash as a present. Host my arse. She's a CF.

beautifulstranger101

Exactly. What is the host even hosting?

What is she providing for her guests?

@NewName73 yeah but why isnt the host providing them? Why expect guests she barely knows to do the leg work. For many we would be guessing what is gluten free and could you guarantee safety from cross contamination? Im speaking as someone who is VERY wary of bring a dish, pot luck things for that reason.

Saying im allergic to salmon was a simple highlight of if this the sort of menu thats on offer, im out

A host provides the food, drinks. Especially when its an invite to an acquaintance
These type of things are usually within family or close friends circles, people who know each others likes, dislikes and health concerns

There's a time and a place for pot luck events.
I suspect that had the 'party thrower' said 'it'd be fab to get to know each other as parents at school, I'll book a hall and a bar, can everyone bring a dish' there would have been loads of attendees.
A 40th birthday and inviting a load of people you don't know isn't perhaps the right time, there are some events you do actually have to host properly.

Our village hall is in the next street to me. I'm keen to go to local events so I can drink and walk. Driving 15 miles there and back and providing food and buying my own drinks just for a child's classmate's mum? Nah I'd decline too. YANBU.

But I don't really think the question is whether to go or not. It seems to me more 'Can I have consensus that it's okay for me and my chums to rip the piss out of her'.

Too true, @Devora13, too true