to think you shouldn't do this if you're in a relationship?

[JPG2017]

If a man has a partner, should he be texting another woman everyday?

The messages involve talking about life, beliefs, passions etc., and they are LONG. About 25 paragraphs sent over a few days. The woman replies the same.

A lot of him saying "I'll have to explain this to you in person" and "you're the only person I know who would ask such an intelligent question" / "you're the only person I know who's this interesting to speak to".

Thoughts?

Only if he wants to split up/get divorced.

Tell him to go and live with her as she’s so fucking amazing

Guessing you are the partner of the man. I'd say it's an abnormal amount of conversation for just 2 people to be having. Even more so if it is at the expense of spending time talking to his partner.

New woman? Woman he has known since her was 2? Friend of the family? Work colleague?

@eveshopper

A woman he used to have a relationship with a few years ago.

I'd be saying goodbye.

Yeah he's pursuing her. Not ok

A woman he used to have a relationship with a few years ago.

Ah, definitely not.

No that’s definitely not on. Riot act.

A woman he used to have a relationship with a few years ago.

Nope, sounds like there are still feelings there on both sides

Definitely not on.

Ta ta, sunshine.

Do you have any self esteem at all?! If so you already know the answer to this.

Tell him to fuck off.

"you're the only person I know who would ask such an intelligent question" / "you're the only person I know who's this interesting to speak to".

IME men only use this kind of shameless flattery on women they're interested in having sex with. It's very transparent.

Sorry, OP

Fishy as fuck. Sorry OP.
He’s implying that he wants to meet her in person to discuss something as she’s so intelligent.
Boak. Clearly wants into her head or indeed pants. Dump and move on.

He needs to fuck off, seriously!

Wait so you’re asking if it’s okay that your partner is telling someone else that they’re the only one interesting to speak to... What does that say about what he thinks of you?
You have my very first LTB

I'm as relaxed as they come with loads of male friends. If a male friend I wasn't interested in started that overt flattery thing I'd assume they had a little crush. If it were my partner and his ex, hell no, there's the door mate. I don't know if there's a way back from it, but he'd have to admit he's been pursuing her and work from there about why our relationship is so broken that he would do that. Even with a child together I'm not sure if I could move past it.

Yikes. That's not ok. Tell him how you feel, he's crossing a line.

Assuming that this is your paryner: that's your relationship over. I'm really sorry, OP. He's an unfaithful arse, and if it's any consolation, he'll do the same to this 'amazing' woman. If she's really as intelligent as he says she is, she'll drop him, too.

It's confusing because he hasn't actually said anything sexual/untoward to her. They are talking about returning books and stuff to one another (DP said he's got some of her things)

Scrolling back through the messages, it's the same type of conversation they had when they were in a relationship though

It is literally just conversations. But then again, DP is not an overtly sexual person.

YANBU. Not cool at all.

Absolutely no way, he wants his cake and eat it. He’s having an emotional affair and is still massively invested in her.

Does he know you’ve read his texts? Or have you felt the need to because his behaviour detracting from your relationship? Is there anything in them that he wouldn’t say to her with you in the room?

I think friends sharing ideas/thoughts etc...is fine. Where I’m concerned is the “only you would understand this” bullshit and the fact she’s an ex.

Red flags