Have you ever had negative comments for dressing well going to work?

[Shedidnt]

I suppose they were not negative in my case but I don't have much confidence really, so I think women (in both cases) wouldn't know that.

I dress well going to work. Pencil skirts or dresses. On two occasions how I dress has been commented on (and not complimentary).

First one was a girl who said 'you look like you're dressed up to go out - I wouldn't get dressed up to come into this place'. I felt like an eejit for trying too hard.

Second one were two female colleagues talking among themselves and one saying 'oh well, she's always overdressed'.

I like to dress well as it gives me confidence. But I feel women particularly hated me for it. The women I befriended never commented apart from maybe to say, that's a nice top - where did you get it (usually primark), but it has left me feeling self conscious about what I wear in case I look like a try-hard or something?

Please tell me some of you dress up to go to work?

Another factor might be an ex (who used to beat me up) told me I was dressing up for the men at work and in fact some of the beatings I took were to make my face bruised so that I couldn't go to work.

Samantha? Is that you??

Only joking OP I do it a lot of the time too but it makes me happy. That's all that matters, if they're coming in casually doesn't mean you have to, too.

I just read the last bit I didn't see that! Glad you're out of that now, if you want to compensate for time lost then go ahead!

This is women being unpleasant. Nothing to do with you. Please ignore. I am sure you look extremely well turned out, and frankly most managers would prefer that.

Having such an appalling ex might have made this a particularly tricky subject for you.

I had the opposite, one of my (male) managers pointing out that I seem to be the only woman who comes into work with no makeup on!
To which I replied: There's nobody here I'm trying to impress.
I have super sensitive skin so make up is for special occasions only.

I think women are very much damned if you do and damned if you dont! If you dress up people will remark on it, and if you dont they'll have something to say about it as well.

Just ignore them and do what makes you feel good.

I think one of DH's parting shots from one of his beatings was 'see how they like you now with two black eyes'.

Oh well. Thankfully those times are over.

I dress up nicely for work. I like doing it and get compliments for it. You have some nasty people (women or not, gender is not that relevant here, anyone can be nasty) working with you and I’m not sure how to help you with that. Ignore them and carry on.

I used to get a lot of comments for the way I dressed to go to work, but I think it's just because I stood out. Lots of the staff wore uniform and the ones who didn't have to wore a lot of the same work outfits for simplicitys sake.

The way I generally dress fits smart casual most of the time anyway though so I'd get dressed like I would to go anywhere else. People would comment, but tbh I think it was more of a bored at work noticing something to talk about thing. If they meant it in a purely negative way, I doubt they'd have said it to me directly like that.

So sorry about the ex and good for you that you’re out of it.

They say you should dress for the position you want rather than the one you have, so maybe you’re making your colleagues uncomfortable...

And yes, I have received comments from school gate mums, who usually see me in casual clothes, when I’ve arrived in full workplace outfits. They were like “Ooh, you don’t look like yourself!” But that’s because they only know one side of me.

@Shedidnt I am one of those people who like clothes and loves to dress well. It really makes me feel better about myself, about my image, about how I am looking after myself.

I have a uniform I change into when I get to work, so it’s not like I’m facing the public in my own clothes. But I love a good dress and a nice pair of shoes. I am, perhaps, overdressed. But I have always dressed like that, so my colleagues know it’s just how I dress.

Ignore your colleagues.

They sound jealous.

I would ignore them. People say things off the cuff others are rude feckers.
Yes I have had negative comments from others in my old job. It is usual passive aggressive, just answer really it takes me no extra effort to put on a skirt over jeans.
Dress how you please your style sounds lovely. If you were wearing illuminated lyric it might be different.
Your Ex is a jealous scumbag don't feel others are being nasty like him..

I'm not conceited enough to think that they're just jealous. Somehow it makes them uncomfortable and I don't want to be an ass. My ex said that he felt I was getting dressed up for the men at work and was insulted because when I got home I'd get changed into pyjamas! Now I can do what I want, but people still be judging. Oh well. Such is life I guess!

I work in an office, we all vary in what we wear, some a smart causal and some smart, I would never comment anything further than nice outfit etc

Clothes are a personal choice and so long as you aren’t breaking any dress codes, I say wear whatever you like and keep your head high.

Does anything they wear every make you feel uncomfortable? I think they are jealous.

Oh lord I have had a lifetime of this so I know exactly what you mean! I was brought up by a mother for whom looks were literally everything and wouldn't even put the bins out without a full face of makeup and wouldn’t allow jeans until I was a teenager so I have a tendency to dress up/look smart pretty much all the time! Even if I am in old jeans and a jumper with moth holes in it, I somehow manage to look ‘done up’. It’s something I have really worked on, with the aid of my dh who has helped me to believe that my bare face isn't really the work of the devil and who cares if your hair isn't brushed/your colours don't tone etc if you’re just going to the supermarket to buy milk!

I think quite often the women who make these comments are jealous or take your good turn-out as a comment from you on how they should be looking, when it is really nothing of the sort! I bet you don’t judge them or even really think about what they are wearing! Try to brush it off - its their problem, not yours!

I don't notice what people wear! Well, there are a few fit looking guys who I'd notice alright lol, but I don't notice what women wear.

OP have you had any counselling to build up your self esteem? If not it may help you to build up your confidence so you won't be affected by these comments. Try and ignore the comments if you feel they're being said in a bitchy way, easier said than done I know, and dress in the way that makes you feel good.

If you feel you may be overdressed ask someone you like and trust for their opinion. I usually wear jeans and a top/jumper but I'm a support worker, including personal hygiene/cleaning, so different requirements.

I'm not conceited enough to think that they're just jealous I get this too.
Can you get that some people like to be mean cows for the sake of it.
They may not be directly jealous of you but they're certainly bitter and feel the need to spread it.
You sound like a nice person. Not everyone is. I am a firm believer in if you don't have anything positive to say in this situation you say nothing.
Invest in some stylish accessories to go with your dress.

Agree that the other women could feel threatened/are jealous.
It's probably not so much that you're "over dressed" but that you dress differently to them. A bit like bullying in school really!
As long as you feel comfortable and look professional then just ignore them.

To add who doesn't come home and get into their loungewear.
You need to get rid of his words have some therapy.

I think you need to seperate your ex's abuse to your works dress code.

If you work in s very casual environment where everyone is dressed down, yes likely it would be seen as a bit odd to be fronting up in dresses. However you can do as you please.

I'm sorry you suffered abuse. Try not to let that still impact how you dress. You may well be over dressed for your work environment, and only you can say if you're comfortable with that. Yes others might not understand why you chose to do it,but you do you.

Not negative exactly but surprised. I used to work in a school. A lot of people there just wore very conventional work trousers or leggings and a tunic dress all the time. I like a bit more variety in how I dress and I like skirts (although they could not be too short or too long in that setting for practical reasons), and I did occasionally get either "have you got an interview?" or a sort of half-complimentary half-surprised "oooh, you look nice today" which made me feel that I had broken some unwritten rule.

I now work in a setting where literally anything goes, and there is less physical crawling around to be done, and I choose to be smartish and a bit retro, just because I can. So far, nobody has said anything. I've had a few what sounded like sincere compliments on individual items, but no comments on my general style.

People that dress scruffily for work always criticise the ones that dont...always!

I guess I'll just continue the way I am.

I had brief counselling but then work interfered with the hours, so I had to stop it. It was really helpful. I should get some more I guess.

It's just bitchy women. They are everywhere. As long as you are happy and the clothes are of course company appropriate then just shrug your shoulders.