Have you ever had negative comments for dressing well going to work?

[Shedidnt]

I suppose they were not negative in my case but I don't have much confidence really, so I think women (in both cases) wouldn't know that.

I dress well going to work. Pencil skirts or dresses. On two occasions how I dress has been commented on (and not complimentary).

First one was a girl who said 'you look like you're dressed up to go out - I wouldn't get dressed up to come into this place'. I felt like an eejit for trying too hard.

Second one were two female colleagues talking among themselves and one saying 'oh well, she's always overdressed'.

I like to dress well as it gives me confidence. But I feel women particularly hated me for it. The women I befriended never commented apart from maybe to say, that's a nice top - where did you get it (usually primark), but it has left me feeling self conscious about what I wear in case I look like a try-hard or something?

Please tell me some of you dress up to go to work?

Another factor might be an ex (who used to beat me up) told me I was dressing up for the men at work and in fact some of the beatings I took were to make my face bruised so that I couldn't go to work.

I habitually wear jeans and a hoodie to work which is very normal in my career. But I wouldn't DREAM of saying something so horrible to anyone who came in looking lovely in a swish pencil skirt or dress.

Don't listen to them OP, you dress how YOU want to dress. If dressing well makes you feel powerful and successul and motivated then you do that and to hell with what your colleagues think! I bet you look amazing.

It's not a casual workplace. We're supposed to be in business dress. Another thing that's been commented on is me wearing heels all the time. Oh well. I should just ignore it all I suppose.

I'm usually one of the first to call jealousy but I'm not sure it is in this incidence. The others could wear dresses if they wished I'm sure.

We have a man at work who does this. Fronts up in bow ties or full three piece suits, when thr other men are in chinos and open neck shirts. I suspect he's a bit attention seeking and try hard. I don't think anyone is jealous of him. I don't really see the op as different.

It depends where you work though. My regional manager wears jeans when she visits so a regular worker wearing smart skirts and dresses would be commented on. In some previous places I have worked, jeans were an absolute no no and would have been commented on.

I wear dresses to work as I find it less faff than trying to match tops and bottoms.
I also like to wear separate clothes to work ( I think it’s because I used to wear a uniform)
I mainly get nice compliments about my clothes but sometimes little digs
‘ do you ever wear the same thing twice’ etc

I do in fact I tend to wear the same thing same day of the week.
If you like what you wear OP and are comfortable in it just ignore them

Believe me, the most extraordinarily attention-seeking thing I would wear is a suit lol. I have an idea in my head of who I am and how I want to dress. I always loved when my mother got dressed up as it meant she was in good form. Maybe it's something to do with that. I have no idea, but I could slob in and no heed would be passed really, but I like to look in the mirror and see someone who looks professional. I realise it's my own issue.

There's a lady in my office who is always immaculately groomed and very well polished - she is always in pencil skirts, a blouse and heels or some very smart tailored trousers with a silk shirt. It is not that kind of office and she is the only one who dresses like that but I look at her and wish I could be that glam, she looks amazing! As it is, I prefer to roll out of bed, do my make up whilst shovelling cereal in and be out of the house within 30 mins so I don't think I'll ever be that person but hey ho! I think that people who make negative comments about appearance are often trying to make themselves feel better about their own insecurities.

You dress how you want to dress, it must be a very sad existence for them if they feel the need to put you down to make themselves feel better. I am sure that you look great!

P.S - are you the lady in my office?

Please don't let these comments distract you from wearing exactly what you want. If the code is business dress then you are clearly not overdressed and if wearing nice clothes makes you feel more confident that is entirely your business and no one else's. Dresses can be a lot more comfortable to wear than trousers or jeans anyway. Good for you!
It may be that they were not even trying to be bitchy but that their logic is that they won't waste good "dressed" up clothes on work. I think that is a bit like saving the best china for the Queen Mother's visit as my mum used to say.

PMSL No. Silk is beyond my budget alas! I like your lady in the office though. I'd probably go into competition with her. Wear higher heels than her or something lol

Students (I work in HE) always judge us on how we dress. There's research into it - if you're female you cannot win. They will always notice and always have opinions. Some of them are incredibly unprofessional about it, too.

OP try to ignore them.

For years I worked in an environment where it was almost a badge of honour not to take care of yourself. I heard loads of comments about women made like that (not by me i hasten to add). Finally after my DC were born i went through a realisation that how i dressed and the way i presented was entirely on relevant to me and me alone. It did coincide with me finding my "screw it " button and i stopped caring.

I love clothes and make up and it comes from my emotionally abusive upbringing when i was told not to bother and that i wasn't pretty etc etc so now, i enjoy clothes and makeup , it makes me feel good. If I want to wear a suit i damn well wear a suit and with pride.

It is one of the things I feel I've beaten. I wear what I want when I want and entirely for myself. Ita a type of power.

Own it and wear whatever you want.its not jealousy in the way we perceive it but there is some jealousy from others in having the confidence and self awareness to be able to wear what you like. So many people are terrified of what others think, often that fear manifests in trying to tear others down because it means that they can pretend they dont wish they had the same confidence.

Life is short, wear the dress or the heels or the lipstick whatever makes you happy.

I changed work settings within the same organization once. It meant I was dressing more formally than those around me.
No one said anything, they didn't need to. I could see I wasn't wearing the same style of clothes.
I bought new clothes that fitted my new work place.
You can choose to wear any clothes you like OP. But take a really clear headed look around you, are you dressed in the same way as your colleagues? If you aren't they will notice because you won't fit in.
You can choose not to fit in but that often requires a little more self confidence.
If looking around your colleagues there are others dressed like you then it is more likely that the colleagues discussing your dress sense are the outliers.
On a separate issue having some more therapy for the DA seems an excellent idea.

I’m always in a suit and heels, styled hair and make-up while at work, and the complete opposite off-duty.
I’ve been called so well-groomed it’s intimidating. 🤷🏻‍♀️ I should show them a photo of when I’m at home, ha!

I do it for very practical reasons:

• looking smart really helps career and especially earnings. One well-placed expensive accessory during salary negotiations can work wonders (it shouldn’t, but I’d be crazy not to play the game)
• I enjoy looking my best at work where I need to show a lot of confidence and credibility to clients
• having a sort of ‘uniform’ really frees up mental effort in the mornings
• people assume you take as much pride in your work as in your looks

I like to dress well as it gives me confidence.

Does it? Seems unlikely if you are struggling over some petty comments.

I don't think anyone dresses like me I suppose. I like to look good though. I'm either in gym gear or work clothes usually. Rarely I go out.

Dressing well is a matter of opinion. Business dress is not necessarily glamorous. If you are getting snarky comments about overdoing it perhaps you are dressing too sexily for the workplace.

Yes Minty, it does.

Nothing is sexy. It's just skirts (below the knee) and tops (up to my neck). Or tunic type dresses.

@7Worfs I've found my soulmate!

Turnip - it was a joke. I do notice women wearing nice clothes but I really only care about how I look in the mirror.

OP, I spent years working mostly from home in my pyjamas, and now that I go to the office more often, I like to make an effort. Just ignore them and wear what makes you happy.

My office is smart but very casual. The men for example wear suits without ties, or smart shirts and trousers. One of my admin team dresses very 80s - tight skirts, heels, pussy-bow blouses etc and lots of make-up.

She does look over-dressed in the setting, but who cares? She clearly doesn't.

If it wasn't clear, I like the way I dress and look. I just don't like the comments about it. I wouldn't comment on anyone else.

First, OP, .

As for your colleagues, I almost never say this, but it does sound like a bit of jealousy.
Tell them you dress for the job you want, not for the job you have. If they're happy underdressing, then it's their problem.
Do you happen to be one of those people who look great in most outfits anyway, and if you do dress well then you look miles better than most? Or do you look like their boss and they don't like it?