Have you ever had negative comments for dressing well going to work?

[Shedidnt]

I suppose they were not negative in my case but I don't have much confidence really, so I think women (in both cases) wouldn't know that.

I dress well going to work. Pencil skirts or dresses. On two occasions how I dress has been commented on (and not complimentary).

First one was a girl who said 'you look like you're dressed up to go out - I wouldn't get dressed up to come into this place'. I felt like an eejit for trying too hard.

Second one were two female colleagues talking among themselves and one saying 'oh well, she's always overdressed'.

I like to dress well as it gives me confidence. But I feel women particularly hated me for it. The women I befriended never commented apart from maybe to say, that's a nice top - where did you get it (usually primark), but it has left me feeling self conscious about what I wear in case I look like a try-hard or something?

Please tell me some of you dress up to go to work?

Another factor might be an ex (who used to beat me up) told me I was dressing up for the men at work and in fact some of the beatings I took were to make my face bruised so that I couldn't go to work.

I’m someone who gets dressed up with full make up to go to work . So do all my colleagues .
On days off , I just wear tracksuits etc and my glasses . Anyone who has met me out dressed like this said it was like meeting two different people

is mostly how I dress. Very boring.

Pfff I dress up for the school run some days. I think sod it I'm making an effort today and I'll straighten my hair, do my make up and put on some of my nicest clothes. Just puts me in a good mood and I feel more motivated to get things done. Most days I'm exhausted and it's the same black tops/leggings and boots.

@Lweji I don’t understand why anyone would be “jealous” of the way someone else dressed. There is absolutely nothing to stop them going to Primark and buying the same clothes so it just makes no sense that it’s always the default that people jump to.

it just makes no sense that it’s always the default that people jump to.

I agree, when it's default. In this case, though, if the OP is simply dressing well, it seems like a possibility to me. It's possible that they wish they dressed like that without actually wanting to make the effort, and instead are trying to make the OP more like them.

If these ladies knew the half of your story, they would pipe down big time. Ignore them and keep doing whatever makes you feel good.

ginger i am not mean or hurtful, nor have i ever made any inappropriate statements to her in person or anywhere near her. i do have a filter.

its been spoken about once or twice and then we moved on.

i wrote that i like her style. she looks great. just not for work in my opinion, which i am allowed to have.

different opinion to the lady at work about what she wears does not equal jealousy or equal mean.

not quite sure how i've been unpleasant in my post?

I worked with a couple of women who were always very well dressed with nice hair and makeup, they also worked out regularly and looked toned. I was overweight, didn't exercise and wore my work uniform of boring and rather dowdy skirts and tops. I admired those women for making the effort every day and for their discipline. You know what they say about not keeping/using your best anything only for special occasions, use/wear what makes you happy and gives you confidence. And if you lived somewhere like Paris, New York or Milan, no-one would think you were over-dressed, just well-dressed. Ignore the gossipers, if they weren't gossiping, finding fault with you Op, it would be someone else.

Posting that music video and saying that's how you dress is really bizarre

Lol, I had to go into the office one saturday to retrieve something out of my pedestal and one of the managers was there and I was in my trackies as I'd been to the gym. He looked shocked lol

this is mostly how I dress. Very boring.

Yes, but are you more of a Jane Fonda or of a Dolly Parton in the dress in that video?

@novacaneforthepain quite!

More Jane Fonda!

I moved to a different job within the same organisation. In the first department no one ever commented on what anyone was wearing unless it was to give a compliment. I wear dresses, some skirts with jumpers ect depending on weather. I've a large bust so shirts are a no no for me because the buttons bulge or pop right off. I get my clothes from M&S or Oasis.

Every day in the new place I got snide comments on how I was over dressed, dressed inappropriately or under dressed depending on what I was wearing (all professional and the same clothes as the first place) . The individual in question also tried to bring in a work wear policy that you could only wear what she deemed appropriate (trousers, shirt, cardigan and boots) we where both low level admin and didn't meet customers face to face or ever leave the office, her policy request didn't get approved and just came across as vindictive, it was a small team so everyone knew it was to get at me. When that didn't work then started copying what I wore, while still dishing out the insults. As daft as it sounds even though I knee she was just being a bully it really affected how I felt about myself and chipped away at my confidence.

I've since been promoted to a different department where what I'm wearing is never critiqued. It's a much better working environment all round.

honestly Shedidnt, you do what you want stylewise. people always have their own opinion. if it gets nasty, start keeping a log or refer to your line manager.

You dress like Dolly Parton? You

This is a joke right ?

Cross post

toycar
I have had colleagues in similar situations. Fabulous sense of style, but it looked and felt out of place for a secondary school.

The accepted view on here is that almost anything is totally appropriate for any workplace unless it's unclean or a health and safety issue. Really most people offline know that norms and expectations are a bit more subtle than that. It's not jealousy to be aware of that.

In my experience:

• people who pride themselves on dressing very casually tend to wear it as a badge if honour and enjoy telling others that they can and should wear what they like 'because I'm actually valued for my brains / ability to do my job, not my looks'. They tend to like to argue "but why ... Why... Who says..." when any hint of workplace dress expectations are mentioned as if that's somehow going to offer insight or change the expectations in a range of different workplaces

• people who dress up lots and seem to have repeated issues being on the receiving end of comments from others tend to be seeking the response 'of course they're jealous of you... They're bitchy and want to pull you down... Other people are clearly threatened by you'. They have picked up on workplace norms in their workplace, chosen not to follow them (as is their right as long as any dress codes are followed) but seem to delight in drawing attention by standing out differently, whilst complaining about it.

• Most people manage to dress in a way that's appropriate for their job and workplace expectations, shows their personality and style and don't tend to find themselves having issues with others.

Lola - that's the impression I get. People I'm trying to make an impression or something. I'm really not. It's all for me.

If it’s all for you why would you feel threatened by another woman dressing up and the need to outdo her?

I dress very well for work. Always a dress and heels or a suit. It’s partly a confidence thing, partly because I love nice clothes and work is a good time to wear them. However it is mostly because my Dad always told me to dress as if I was a senior person in the organisation as it’s far better to be noticed for being well turned out than for being a scruff. It’s pretty old fashioned advice now, but I do notice that everywhere I have ever worked, however office casual or factory based, the CEO is always in a suit.

@Shedidnt I am not finding faults with you, ill be honest before I had DC when I had an office job I wore dresses skirts tops, sometimes low cut which I was reprimanded for as a female colleague was offended, I didn't have my breasts out just some cleavage, I blow dried my hair wore full makeup every day. In my 20's I hold my hands up, I was very full of myself I thought I was beautiful though I admittedly enjoyed the attention in work after coming out of a smothering relationship. Dress how you like people will judge anyway.

That was what we call a joke in some parts of the world. You might not have heard of such a thing.