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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you don't climax from sex, would PE bother you?

186 replies

SilverSurfer2020 · 29/12/2019 11:09

If you don't climax from penetrative sex, would a man suffering from Premature Ejaculation bother you?

(YABU - it would not bother you
YANBU - it would bother you).

OP posts:
Original poster
SilverSurfer2020 · 29/12/2019 11:11

Incidentally the man seems genuinely unaware that he suffers from PE, and sees no problem.

OP posts:
BackOnceAgainWithATinselHalo · 29/12/2019 11:13

You might find more takers in the sex topic, if you’ve been here long enough to post there.

BornInAThunderstorm · 29/12/2019 11:14

The PE wouldn't bother me if he was making sure to address the fact that I hadn’t climaxed, my partner always makes sure I’m “finished off” Grin if it doesn’t happen during sex

Thehop · 29/12/2019 11:14

If that’s not the part of sex you enjoy and climax from them I don’t see the problem?

But if it is a problem then talk to him about getting some support.

The sex board may be best.

GruciusMalfoy · 29/12/2019 11:17

It would bother me. You dont have to climax from it for it to still be enjoyable.

Original poster
SilverSurfer2020 · 29/12/2019 11:18

You might find more takers in the sex topic, if you’ve been here long enough to post there.

I've always found the other boards (aside from Relationships) to be ... Sleepy.

Plus I wanted an opinion poll/idea of what split there might be among women to "check" a decision already made, rather than help with sex iyswim.

OP posts:
DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 29/12/2019 11:21

It would bother me. Orgasm is only part of the experience. If the man doesn't realise that there is a problem though, it might be tricky. I don't think there is a sensitive way to tell someone that he doesn't last long enough (although that may well just be my innate lack of tact!).

Lifeisabeach09 · 29/12/2019 11:21

Yes, it would bother. I enjoy PE although I don't climax.

Original poster
SilverSurfer2020 · 29/12/2019 11:23

(Obviously a decision will always be personal, but sometimes it's v useful to see how other women might feel about it). Here there's a buffer sample than you could ever get from close friends etc.

OP posts:
RogueV · 29/12/2019 11:24

Yes it would bother me.

I love PIV!!! It’s not just about the orgasm.

Original poster
SilverSurfer2020 · 29/12/2019 11:26

Bigger not buffer Grin

OP posts:
Wellmet · 29/12/2019 11:26

It wouldn't bother me as long as piv is only part of the experience. If I'd climaxed before it went in, I wouldn't care how long that bit took.

CakeandCustard28 · 29/12/2019 11:28

It’d bother me. He sounds a bit selfish if you ask me!

Original poster
SilverSurfer2020 · 29/12/2019 11:31

if he was making sure to address the fact that I hadn’t climaxed

No.

If the man doesn't realise that there is a problem though, it might be tricky. I don't think there is a sensitive way to tell someone that he doesn't last long enough

He genuinely seems totally unaware. I found that hard to wrap my head around, he hasn't had shedloads or partners but has had a few.

OP posts:
EL8888 · 29/12/2019 11:31

Yep it would bother me. I’m confused about how he doesn’t realise he has it. Or is he just pretending he doesn’t have it?

Original poster
SilverSurfer2020 · 29/12/2019 11:31

*of partners

OP posts:
Original poster
SilverSurfer2020 · 29/12/2019 11:32

I’m confused about how he doesn’t realise he has it. Or is he just pretending he doesn’t have it?

That makes two of us.

I do wonder.

OP posts:
PermanentTemporary · 29/12/2019 11:32

I've voted YABU but there'd be more to it for me.

PE isn't a problem as such - the opposite in fact. But if he only really sees PIV as sex and hustles to get to it, if he's out of commission for a long time afterwards, if he doesn't spend time on my pleasure - that's a problem.

CinnabarRed · 29/12/2019 11:33

So he cums very quickly, doesn’t make sure you’ve had an orgasm, and doesn’t see any kind of issue?

Sounds awful.

Alsohuman · 29/12/2019 11:36

How long is not long enough, though? I get thoroughly bored by pounding away for hours.

BitOfFun · 29/12/2019 11:36

PE isn't a problem as such - the opposite in fact. But if he only really sees PIV as sex and hustles to get to it, if he's out of commission for a long time afterwards, if he doesn't spend time on my pleasure - that's a problem.

This makes sense.

AuntyElle · 29/12/2019 11:36

*if he was making sure to address the fact that I hadn’t climaxed

No.*

I’m not sure the main issue is the PE then. But an uninterested, selfish bloke.

allthesharks · 29/12/2019 11:42

When you say premature ejaculation, do you mean that by the actual definition - within 1 minute? And is it the case that he is only seeing to his own needs, and not trying to last any longer?

When you say that you can't climax from piv sex, have you ever? Or is it just that you have to chance to when it is ending so quickly?

MysweetAudrina · 29/12/2019 11:42

No, as I don't orgasm through piv sex and he always makes sure I orgasm first so the quicker the better afterwards.

SimonJT · 29/12/2019 11:43

Sex for me isn’t hugely about climaxing or physical pleasure, it’s about trust, intimacy and generally being close. It would bother me if it was happening all the time, there are things you can get to help like condoms with lubes inside that reduce sensitivity etc.