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AIBU?

If you don't climax from sex, would PE bother you?

186 replies

SilverSurfer2020 · 29/12/2019 11:09

If you don't climax from penetrative sex, would a man suffering from Premature Ejaculation bother you?

(YABU - it would not bother you
YANBU - it would bother you).

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

845 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
44%
You are NOT being unreasonable
56%
PermanentTemporary · 29/12/2019 22:49

I totally agree that some men don't react well to being told. You shouldn't really have to; not because they should be able to guess, but because they should ask. And also once they've been shown once, they should be at least close next time.

If you know of a clip that shows pretty much what you want, bookmark it and require partners to watch it, like one of those safety videos at a trampoline park...

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Osirus · 30/12/2019 00:21

I think I’ve got the female form of PE. A few mins is perfect, after ten mins warm up and a few mins PE I’ll be done and ready for a nap. Anything longer than five/ten mins would leave me sore. Just me? blush

No, not just you! I’m the same. After 14 years it amazes (and sometimes disappoints) my DH that I can be done within a few minutes.

I can’t imagine my DH wanting to go “at it” for any longer than 5 minutes or so at a time.

This is our normal though, and everyone is different, so OP maybe your ex really didn’t think there was anything wrong as maybe he did actually suit some of his previous partners?

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BackOnceAgainWithATinselHalo · 30/12/2019 15:10

After a while he emerged and lay back on the pillow saying 'how many times did you come?'

Dear god! I mean, seriously! I met my first boyfriend a few years after we’d split and he referred to having made me come through fingering. I laughed my head off and explained that had not happened! That was discomfort mate. He took it well and I like to hope it benefited his future partners.

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Zaphodsotherhead · 30/12/2019 18:45

I think porn has a LOT to answer for with some of these men. They see these women having alleged multiple orgasms from heavy pounding thrusts and assume that's how it works. They don't bother to look any further.

So when we start moving their hands or not liking fingers jammed up inside us, they assume that WE are the abnormal ones.

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MargieMo · 04/01/2020 13:31

@Zaphodsotherhead said: "I think porn has a LOT to answer for with some of these men. They see these women having alleged multiple orgasms from heavy pounding thrusts and assume that's how it works."

I expect that is very much the case for younger males, but the surely the person the poster has described should have learned a lot more by his stage of life?

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PermanentTemporary · 04/01/2020 13:42

You would think so. But a normal bloke even in his 40s may only have had a few real partners, and if you watch hundreds of porn clips, your sample may be off. Ive just had a lover ask for a really rough handjob technique- that's v unusual in real life, but not in porn.

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Zaphodsotherhead · 04/01/2020 13:43

Depends if he's had actual sexual experience or whether most of his experience has derived from watching porn and then playing out the scenes on women who may have even less experience.

It's always amazed me how many men, who seem perfectly normal in all other respects, regard porn as a documentary rather than the utter fiction that it is.

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MargieMo · 04/01/2020 14:19

I'd never look at internet porn, until i starting reading related threads on the influence of porn on teenagers from MN posts, as DS and DD are teenager, and the reality is that ALL boys look at this stuff.

Do girls look at this stuff? I don't think so?

Regardless, it is so obviously fake (or the stuff I looked at) I don't see how people believe it is real, especially older males.

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Zaphodsotherhead · 04/01/2020 15:04

I think, MargieMo, that a lot of men WANT to believe it's real, that's the problem. They really want to think that women will climax from being fisted etc.

There are a LOT of men (I've dated a few) whose entire knowledge of sex is derived from porn. They simply can't be bothered to read sex books or anything else, because it suits them to think of women as having the sexual performance of porn stars.

I also freely admit that I've dated some very odd men though.

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PermanentTemporary · 05/01/2020 01:40

I think women who read romance novels or fan fiction 'know' that romance as written about in those novels is not real, but it still shifts their assumptions and their mental landscape.

Speaking as a current sex dater, I do think that many men who are on hook-up sites follow a porn pattern in their sexuality. They all want to know, do I have multiple orgasms? do I ejaculate (that one above all others)? do I enjoy anal sex? have I been in a threesome or do I fantasise about one?

On the positive side, I suppose at least they're asking and not assuming. And they all ask if there is anything I definitely don't like or want to do. Nearly all of them ask if I will let them perform extended oral sex on me, though I suppose like my bloke of a few weeks back they think I am going to be having an orgasm every few seconds if they do. It's not all bad. They are also, to say the least, positive about the existence of a warm female body - I'm not a slender little thing and I'm 50, but none of them care.

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Zaphodsotherhead · 05/01/2020 09:02

As an aside, PermanentTemporary I write romance novels. No sex in them though (or at least not such that is going to give any woman any false ideas), but I get what you are saying.

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