AIBU. I might get a bashing for this but here goes

[Goinganonforthisone]

So im in a fairly healthy relationship or so i thought. My partner checked for a number on my phone and "accidently " saw my search history and came across a porn site. Now we're both adults, loyal and im a bit peeved that im having to explain myself like im a damn schoolgirl. Im angry actually as i don't see what's wrong with it and i don't mind him looking at it as long as we don't feel unfulfilled or cheating. He's sitting here now with a long face and refuses to talk because he asked what kind of porn do i search for and what else am i hiding!! I think its ok to keep harmless little "secrets" or guilty pleasures as long as it doesn't harm the relationship. AIBU?

Neck, a survey last year by Psychology Today reported that 98% of men and 73% of women had reported watching porn in the last 6 months...sorry, what were you saying?

Meanwhile, in the real world.....

Let's cling to our own beliefs then, shall we?

@Helmlover1 tell my friend who is now infertile and has many issues through making porn when she was younger that porn is harmless fun and okay because psychology today says everyone is doing it will you?

Or is she just a total one off?

To those who don’t approve of porn, does this include all porn...gay, lesbian etc? What about ethical porn sites...are these, where women are making a living, perhaps enjoying what they are doing, ok? Who has the right to decide that they are being exploited? If a couple wants to film and post themselves enjoying sex, it might not be something I would do, but this is their choice.

No one is saying that exploitation and trafficking in porn doesn’t exist, but surely there should be choice along with this awareness in what people want to watch? It is not all trafficking and exploitation. It’s also interesting that if someone says they watch porn, it’s assumed that they must be watching some rape/torture scene - also must be addicted to it!!

What about other industries where this exists, of which there are very many that involve exploitation of women and children - what we eat, drink, dress in etc etc? However, in this case, it’s because it is....porn! 🙄

Neck, a survey last year by Psychology Today reported that 98% of men and 73% of women had reported watching porn in the last 6 months...sorry, what were you saying?

Quite a lot. So, are you suggesting that the porn industry is a harmless pastime for all concerned?

Neck- you stated in one of your previous comments that ‘porn is harmful to women on all levels’- I was merely pointing out that no one holds a gun to a woman’s head and orders her to enter the porn industry to be ‘raped and abused’. It’s a woman’s informed decision to enter porn, just like it would be to enter any other profession. So I don’t think it’s useful for people like you to make sweeping generalisations about an industry you claim to have done research on.

Again, I’m quite concerned that you seem unable to distinguish between the adult porn industry and paedophilia. Yes, everyone has heard of the dark web and the horrific content on it..what has that got to do with this discussion?

I’d be mostly concerned about his need to snoop through your phone. Searching for a number but accidentally stumbled across your search history? Yeah right... He’s insecure and needy, I’d ditch him.

It’s a woman’s informed decision to enter porn, just like it would be to enter any other profession

And who doesn’t remember that careers advice at school?

Are you on fucking glue?

What a fucking mardy pussy
Tell him there is obviously a reason your watching it as his moany ass isnt up to the job
Some right prudes on here, its absoloutley normal

WildChristmas- sorry to hear about your friend. I used to work in a social care environment where one of my colleagues was off sick with long term stress due to work and sadly even made a suicide attempt (won’t go into too much detail on Internet forum) so do you think we should all frown upon the social work profession and discourage people entering it?

Again, I’m quite concerned that you seem unable to distinguish between the adult porn industry and paedophilia

Oh for God's sake. Cut and paste ANYTHING I've said that even hints at that.

It’s a woman’s informed decision to enter porn, just like it would be to enter any other profession

And so many times it's not. I know. I've worked with those women.

So I don’t think it’s useful for people like you to make sweeping generalisations about an industry you claim to have done research on

The only sweeping generalization I've made is that the porn industry is harmful to women. And that's a hill I'll die on.

TSS- just because it wasn’t a career choice at school doesn’t mean it’s not a career choice at all though, does it? Being an Instagram/YouTube star wasn’t a choice when I was at school but I hear some kids are making millions from it these days!

Stop being snobby about other people’s choices in life.

It’s not being “snobby” you utter, utter idiot. I’m not sneering at their car choice for fucks sake.

...and I'm out of here now as I have a train to catch.

Good night all. Hope this thread is of SOME use, OP!

The only sweeping generalization I've made is that the porn industry is harmful to women. And that's a hill I'll die on.

Is this all women? What about women for whom the porn industry isn’t harmful, who are making a living from it - possibly even enjoying their job?

If you chose to watch material that’s your questionably moral option. Given you have no idea when you roll down your pants and start your wank whether that woman had a choice is on you. If you can do that without question, doubt or hesitation is on your shoulders. Frankly, your choices make me feel sick.

TSS what about gay or lesbian porn, or amateur videos of a couple enjoying themselves. What do you think of ethical porn?

Neck- you mentioned ‘girls and women in porn’ (trying to insinuate that paedophilia and adult porn go hand in hand)- I simply pointed out that girls aren’t allowed in porn, so your statement was incorrect.

So you’ve worked with trafficked women so you now believe that most porn stars are also trafficked women? Yeah go and say that to the porn star millionaires (sorry, the ‘poor vulnerable girls’) in their mansions getting paid $35,000 per cum shot!

Ok, you keep thinking that porn is harmful to women but don’t hate the rest of us normal, horny adults who enjoy it!

Now you go to sleep with your hands across your chest and think pure thoughts- good night!

in their mansions getting paid $35,000 per cum shot!

Yep. When you thought people couldn’t be more disgusting, you’re always going to be disappointed. Could you write this with pride and no sick in your mouth? Shame on you.

TSS, your prudish, judgey, snowflakey nature makes me sick. Go and watch some double anal penetration to chill you the fuck out.

Does that make you feel good in some way? You are a sad little person.

I pity you.

TSS- have you seen 2 girls, 1 cup? I would PAY to see your reaction to that- hilarious!

^^ 😂

Op fwiw - a lot of women i know watch porn, a friend of mine is actually a porn director in the states. What matters if it’s been discussed and is a deal breaker for your Op then obviously that’s not good. Have you spoken about this before? I watch porn (the stuff my friend directs) but my husband is not bothered - he can take it or leave it. What matters is what you and your partner have agreed on. It’s your boundaries. Not anyone else’s.

Would you like me to send you a link TSS?