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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be so angry at my family going to Glastonbury?

483 replies

rosess · 27/12/2019 15:18

Brother and sister in law informed everyone yesterday that they got tickets to Glastonbury this year, and they will be going for the full duration. Which means they are going to miss out on not only their daughters 15th birthday which is on the Saturday of the festival, but also my parents 50th wedding anniversary party, which has been arranged since last year that we will be hosting a party for them on the Sunday. Their two eldest children who are 20 and 23 also bagged tickets along with their mates, so they also won't be there.

I told them all that it's not fair or responsible for them to have booked tickets, they all obviously knew it was their daughters/sisters birthday and my parents wedding anniversary. The whole weekend was going to be a huge family get together, however not anymore. My eldest niece even tried to argue with me about it, saying how it's the 50th anniversary, always been on their bucket list etc. I don't care, they are missing important family dates.

They have said they are celebrating their daughters birthday the weekend prior and that they are even going to attempt to get a ticket in the resale for her, although it will be tough to get, however if they do, they'll then take their youngest who is 12, and can get in for free. So potentially the whole family will be absent.

I'm furious. They have ruined the party already, they should of never of even thought about getting tickets, it's so unfair for my parents.

I'm tempted to message my brother, and beg him to not go, my mum is quite upset that he won't be at the party. Aibu to be so angry at them all?

OP posts:
Inhismemory · 27/12/2019 15:20

Who will be looking after their 12&15yo's while they're on this jolly?

Iwasneveragoddess · 27/12/2019 15:21

Can you move the party?

Waterandlemonjuice · 27/12/2019 15:21

YABU, you can’t make people attend a family event. Glastonbury tickets are hard to get too.

VivaLeBeaver · 27/12/2019 15:21

Can you not rearrange the party. If they have tickets they won’t be changing their minds. So either accept they won’t be there or move the party.

Waterandlemonjuice · 27/12/2019 15:21

Yes, move the party, great idea, it’s so far in advance that seems reasonable

Wheelerdeeler · 27/12/2019 15:22

It's your parents they are letting down. That's their issue. Dont get involved.

haverhill · 27/12/2019 15:23

I think you’ll get plenty of posters saying YABU but I agree with you; it’s thoughtless and selfish. You could ask your brother to not go - is it at all feasible that he comes to the party for a couple of hours then returns to Glastonbury?

sophiestew · 27/12/2019 15:23

Blimey - you sound like hard work OP!!

Justgorgeous · 27/12/2019 15:23

Sorry but Glastonbury tickets are like gold dust, it’s also Glastonbury’s 50th year so I’m sure something else could be arranged.

misspiggy19 · 27/12/2019 15:24

No don’t rearrange the party. You shouldn’t have to.

MrsFrostyTheSnowman · 27/12/2019 15:25

It's not your argument, stay out of it. You can't force people to attend a party no matter who it's for

misspiggy19 · 27/12/2019 15:25

They sound like arseholes anyway- happy to leave out their own 12yr old and 15yr old children so they can go Glastonbury

MynameisJune · 27/12/2019 15:26

You sound a bit jealous to me.....

DawgLover · 27/12/2019 15:26

I'd say yes, yabu. Your daughters 15th is hardly a milestone birthday.

Your parents anniversary certainly is, but I think that's between your brother and his mum to sort.

That you're furious, think they've ruined the party etc is all a bit of an overreaction.

BrokenWing · 27/12/2019 15:28

Missing their own daughters birthday is none of your business.

How big is the 50th Wedding party? If it was just your two families I'd be tempted to try to move the date for your parents sake.

If it is a big party with lots of people going, don't get involved. Leave it between your mum and your brother.

Don't facilitate them going by getting involved in any arrangements for their other children.

onanothertrain · 27/12/2019 15:29

YABVVU and overreacting.

hidinginthenightgarden · 27/12/2019 15:29

It is thoughtless and you shouldn't move the party. But I feel for the 15 yr old more than your parents tbh.

Glitteryone · 27/12/2019 15:30

None of your business OP!

Original poster
rosess · 27/12/2019 15:30

@Inhismemory sister in laws mother will be staying at their house for the week to look after them and dogs.

Can't rearrange the party, my auntie and cousins have booked and arranged transport from America so they can attend the party.

OP posts:
CuriousaboutSamphire · 27/12/2019 15:31

Blimey - you sound like hard work OP!!

Sorry but Glastonbury tickets are like gold dust, it’s also Glastonbury’s 50th year

Oh dear! Festival before family, huh?

And you think OP is the one being 'hard work'

OP all you can do is try to work around it. And that includes pretending that your DB has not decided to be so selfish.

Had he tried to discuss bit with your DPs then he would at least have acted like an adult. The fact that he booked knowing about the pre existing family occasion tells you that, whatever you thought of him before this, he had decided to be a selfish twat.

I could ALMOST understand forgetting your DPs part, but his own DDs birthday? He'd just take the rest of his family and leave her behind... on her birthday?

That shit stay with a kid, especially a teen, forever!

Cornettoninja · 27/12/2019 15:33

They sound like arseholes anyway- happy to leave out their own 12yr old and 15yr old children so they can go Glastonbury

This.

I know everyone is different but I can’t help but think you’d have to be a complete knob to book a break away on your dc’s birthday - especially one they’d probably love and have other siblings going. It’s a shitty thing to do and if I remember being a teenage correctly, one that would have a lasting impact on their relationship with them.

Your parents 50th anniversary is slightly less of an issue. If you’re hosting it should be fairly simple to rearrange if your parents are bothered enough. Still not stellar behaviour but not completely unreasonable.

Chloemol · 27/12/2019 15:33

Just go ahead with the party and have a good time. It’s up to your brother to sort it out with his upset mother not you

bigknickersbigknockers · 27/12/2019 15:34

The date for your parents party can be changed, Glastonbury cannot.

dollyandshirl · 27/12/2019 15:34

yes and no. its very shitty of them to exclude their own daughter from a family trip and ditch her on her birthday into the bargain.
But YABU to expect to control or dictate them to such an extent. Its always been on their bucket list and tickets are difficult to get nowadays but you ‘don’t care’ Hmm. Its not about you. Plus, its pretty bolshy and overdramatic to decide they’ve ‘ruined the party’ 6 months before its even happened. Sounds like you’ve made your opinion very clear to them, leave it at that. Begging/forcing anyone to attend a party will make them less likely to attend if anything.

TheTruthAboutLove · 27/12/2019 15:35

I would go ahead and have the party without them, especially as your family will be coming from America.

Let your brother arrange his own celebration with his parents for their anniversary, and don’t give them any more attention for what they have done. It’s absolutely selfish on their part but you’re not going to change their minds - so just keep ploughing on, make the party as special as possible for your parents and don’t give them any more headspace.

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