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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be so angry at my family going to Glastonbury?

483 replies

rosess · 27/12/2019 15:18

Brother and sister in law informed everyone yesterday that they got tickets to Glastonbury this year, and they will be going for the full duration. Which means they are going to miss out on not only their daughters 15th birthday which is on the Saturday of the festival, but also my parents 50th wedding anniversary party, which has been arranged since last year that we will be hosting a party for them on the Sunday. Their two eldest children who are 20 and 23 also bagged tickets along with their mates, so they also won't be there.

I told them all that it's not fair or responsible for them to have booked tickets, they all obviously knew it was their daughters/sisters birthday and my parents wedding anniversary. The whole weekend was going to be a huge family get together, however not anymore. My eldest niece even tried to argue with me about it, saying how it's the 50th anniversary, always been on their bucket list etc. I don't care, they are missing important family dates.

They have said they are celebrating their daughters birthday the weekend prior and that they are even going to attempt to get a ticket in the resale for her, although it will be tough to get, however if they do, they'll then take their youngest who is 12, and can get in for free. So potentially the whole family will be absent.

I'm furious. They have ruined the party already, they should of never of even thought about getting tickets, it's so unfair for my parents.

I'm tempted to message my brother, and beg him to not go, my mum is quite upset that he won't be at the party. Aibu to be so angry at them all?

OP posts:
MrsMillerbecameababy · 27/12/2019 16:45

Not getting a ticket for their 15 year old is the unforgivable part - leaving her at home on her birthday while they go to Glastonbury! The first pair of tickets should have been parent plus birthday girl (toss a coin for it between parents) and the ticket in the resale for second parent if possible.

MrsMillerbecameababy · 27/12/2019 16:46

tillytrotter1 Grin

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 27/12/2019 16:46

I'm incredulous so many people think the OP is unreasonable. Huge family get togethers are few and far between when some family members live abroad and it isn't always easy to change the date even six months in advance once people have started booking annual leave and making travel and childcare arrangements.

OP's brother has presumably known for a long time that it was his parents' 50th around the same time as Glastonbury and that they wanted to celebrate it with a big party. Why on earth didn't he say right from the start of the planning for the party that if he and his family could get tickets they wanted to go to Glastonbury? Then the party could have been arranged for another weekend.

The only excuse he might have is if his parents arranged the whole thing without consulting family about suitable dates, which would have been silly. But if they did involve family, he's behaving very badly indeed.

Ihatemyseleffordoingthis · 27/12/2019 16:47

I too suspect a planning/consultation failure on the part of OP. @CherryPavlova

Why is this only coming to light now? They will have known since early October that they had the tickets. It sounds like OP/parents and brother don't talk very often....

FullOfJellyBeans · 27/12/2019 16:47

YANBU. Why do they suddenly have to go this year? They're going alone when it's their 15 year old's birthday? If they had already agreed to go to the anniversary party it's very rude to drop out - they should have asked for it to be rearranged at the time.

SurferRona · 27/12/2019 16:51

Sorry for your loss @AutumnRose1, I have lost both mine in the last few years and frankly wish I had more parties and holidays and birthday teas and days out to recall rather than the sad decline of their last months and weeks. Being able to remember people as vivacious and living fully, rather than poorly and recognisably on their way out. That knowledge changes things so dramatically, so assuredly. I'd much rather have the early life.

AutumnRose1 · 27/12/2019 16:58

Surfer sorry for your loss Flowers

I was just offering that perspective because tbh, it does rather annoy me when people come along and say stuff that sounds like "wait until they are dead". I am sorry, I see you weren't trying to goad but trying to report your experience.

so FWIW, that's my experience. I do have happy memories of my dad on a personal level but I find those big parties so impersonal, whereas with something like Glastonbury I can see how it would be a wonderful experience.

it does often come across as emotional blackmail on MN - the "how will you feel when this person is dead" posters do tend to appear on threads like these.

AutumnRose1 · 27/12/2019 17:00

"Why do they suddenly have to go this year?"

I don't know when the announcement was but I gather a lot of people guessed Taylor Swift when she released her tour dates and the UK wasn't there! Could that be why?

anyway, everyone's got the right to feel how they feel. So OP if you want to have a go, do, but be prepared to be told to eff off, I guess!

Tistheseason17 · 27/12/2019 17:02

Just let it go.
Their choice and the impact is on them and your parents - not YOU.
Just have a great party without them.

birdsarecute45 · 27/12/2019 17:05

'Glastonbury tickets are so hard to get' ??

Don't you like- just - buy them? Like from a website or something?

Isn't this what the organisers want you to do?

AJPTaylor · 27/12/2019 17:05

Yes.Glastonbury tix are hard to get.
But. Why try if this year it is your parents 50th wedding annivetsary?
However, chin up op.

SurferRona · 27/12/2019 17:07

Well, different perspectives could appear as emotional blackmail I suppose, but if it helps the OPs brother see a different perspective, that is okay. I'm not sure how else the point can be made but TBH, I have no problem if that's what some people think anyway Xmas Grin

AuntieMarys · 27/12/2019 17:07

I'd do Glastonbury over a family do any day.

AutumnRose1 · 27/12/2019 17:10

"Don't you like- just - buy them? Like from a website or something?"

nope.

Snog · 27/12/2019 17:12

I agree stand back from this one OP it's between your bro and your parents.

Cremebrule · 27/12/2019 17:12

I think they’ve been very inconsiderate but there is nothing you can do really. If they didn’t care enough to book the tickets in the first place they’re not going to re-sell them. I’ve done Glastonbury twice and it’s fun but it’s really not that special that you’d risk a family fall out. I think the 50th anniversary should have come first as should their daughter’s birthday.

DariaMorgendorffer · 27/12/2019 17:13

YABU. My 15 year old would be delighted for me to attend a big event like that even it the date clashed with her birthday. Glastonbury tickets are like gold dust - it's a huge occasion for thousands of music lovers! You sound like such hard work op!

birdsarecute45 · 27/12/2019 17:13

How do you get them then? (As I think it abundantly clear i have never been to a mujsic festival of any sort).

Glastonbruy operates on people paying to be there, Otherwise it would not exist. So it must be that it is set up in order to allow people to pay money to be there.

I'd ask if it is like a lottery or something but I am genuinely THAT clueless and will probably only piss people off!

I'll stick to my Abba revivals at regional theatres!

Loveislandaddict · 27/12/2019 17:13

The Glastonbury tickets went on sale in October, so they have known then they have the tickets.

When did you arrange the date for the Anniversary meal? They should have said when you were planning dates that they were thinking of going to Glastonbury, so not to confirm that date.

It’s tricky to get a date that suits everyone.

Loveislandaddict · 27/12/2019 17:15

You get Glastonbury tickets from ticket websites, but they are so popular that the entire festival sells within an hour (or less). People will have multiple media devices operational all at the same time to get tickets.

AutumnRose1 · 27/12/2019 17:16

birds well they sold out in 34 minutes this year - demand vs supply.

If anyone has ever spent hours in an online queue watching a green man....solidarity fist bump! Grin

birdsarecute45 · 27/12/2019 17:16

Thanks Loveisland.

:)

birdsarecute45 · 27/12/2019 17:17

Thanks Autumn

It's genuinely interesting to me- a whole part of life I do not see!

Thanks for explaining!

DawgLover · 27/12/2019 17:17

"Don't you like- just - buy them? Like from a website or something?"

You register well in advance and then its basically pot luck (and good wifi) deciding you actually gets one. In recent years tickets have sold out in approx 30 mins, but because the demand is so high (>2mill registered for 175,000 tickets) the reality is the you have seconds to get into the ticket queue.

There's no denying the brother may be being selfish, or potentially there has been poor communication of plans but the reality is this is between him and his parents and the OP seems to be over the top in her reaction

BackforGood · 27/12/2019 17:21

@OneForMeToo of course they do. Very normal, if you are lucky enough to still have both parents together after 50 years of marriage, for a ds or dd to organise a party for them. Wouldn't you ? Hmm

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