To be so angry at my family going to Glastonbury?

[rosess]

Brother and sister in law informed everyone yesterday that they got tickets to Glastonbury this year, and they will be going for the full duration. Which means they are going to miss out on not only their daughters 15th birthday which is on the Saturday of the festival, but also my parents 50th wedding anniversary party, which has been arranged since last year that we will be hosting a party for them on the Sunday. Their two eldest children who are 20 and 23 also bagged tickets along with their mates, so they also won't be there.

I told them all that it's not fair or responsible for them to have booked tickets, they all obviously knew it was their daughters/sisters birthday and my parents wedding anniversary. The whole weekend was going to be a huge family get together, however not anymore. My eldest niece even tried to argue with me about it, saying how it's the 50th anniversary, always been on their bucket list etc. I don't care, they are missing important family dates.

They have said they are celebrating their daughters birthday the weekend prior and that they are even going to attempt to get a ticket in the resale for her, although it will be tough to get, however if they do, they'll then take their youngest who is 12, and can get in for free. So potentially the whole family will be absent.

I'm furious. They have ruined the party already, they should of never of even thought about getting tickets, it's so unfair for my parents.

I'm tempted to message my brother, and beg him to not go, my mum is quite upset that he won't be at the party. Aibu to be so angry at them all?

They could always put there two youngest into care for the weekend.

YANBU - but let your parents tell them, not you. Dont get any more involved than you have been, it is up to your parents and brother to sort it out.

YANBU given the info about flights from America. You should have put that in your OP!

YABU.
Rearrange the party if their attendance means that much to everyone, there's loads of time to do so. Can you not just have a good time without them.

It is nobbish behaviour, but stay out of it.

The reasons for any rift will become blurred in the mists of time, and you don't need your name attached to it.

Yes, it's disappointing for your parents but it's not the end of the world. Sounds like there will be plenty of people for them to celebrate with.

It's certainly nothing to do with you, it's between your parents and their son and daughter in law. Keep out of it, it will only cause bad feeling.

Glastonbury is very special to thousands of people, and they book up,and look forward to it big time. It's sad that it is going to upset any family plans,but I would not be asking,begging,people not to go, and would not be upset about it anyway.

You can't do anything to make them stay. Just ignore the selfish gits and make sure the party is amazing for your parents. I would also ensure the 15 and 12 year olds attend and make a fuss of them. I cannot believe they are being left behind for the week - with a birthday looming! It really shows up DB and SIL's priorities.

I missed that, Oldishusernewname! Looked back and can't see it. I was severely told off for noticing the same in another thread over the past few days - seems to be prevalent on MN - and I was laughing (suppose no one could see me laugh). Be prepared (if the poster hasn't asked for contribution to be removed) for not only a telling off but for use of F words.

Glastonbury all the way! Birthdays and wedding anniversaries can be celebrated on other days and frequently are; Glasto tickets are hard to come by.

Maybe they would "have" preferred not to "Have" to attend a party at your house.
Surely, they can do what they want for your parents anniversary and their own child's birthday.

I’d choose Glastonbury as well. If the 15 year old is like normal 15 yr olds, she won’t care her parents aren’t there

It's very disappointing for your parents, but I wouldn't be begging your brother not to go. Concentrate on having a wonderful celebration for your parents with all the people who are there, especially those who have made more of an effort to attend. The party is not ruined; your parents and their 50 years of marriage deserve to be celebrated.

Missing the 50th wedding anniversary party is one thing, but you can easily rearrange family birthday arrangements for a 15th birthday. Glastonbury isn't my thing, but I wouldn't be concerned about going out with my son or daughter a few days either side of their birthday rather than on their birthday.

I agree missing a long-standing family arrangement isn't really on, but obviously they prioritise Glastonbury over their parents.Maybe they just don't get on that well. Or they think it will be full of oldies and not really their thing? After all, in most cases we're not there at our parents' weddings!

I think it’s wrong of them to book it on their dds birthday, but there’s nothing you can do about it. And if I get this right, she’d like to go but isn’t even next in line for a ticket, as they’d give it to the 12 yo! That’s pretty rough if true.

However nothing you can do, and as others have said, you either go ahead as planned or move the party.

You cant make them come so just forget them and move on.

Birthdays and wedding anniversaries can be celebrated on other days and frequently are

Slightly a moot point given in this case the anniversary isn’t being celebrated another day...

It’s a fair indication of their family feelings though so good luck to them. Maybe there are more issues at play than the OP is aware of.

Aibu to be so angry at them all?

No but, even if you totally disagree with them, they clearly think Glastonbury is a better bet than the party. You can't force them to attend or think it's important.

Do people really throw big parties for other people’s wedding anniversaries.

I think they are inconsiderate and selfish but it is up to them they are letting the parents and their DD not you.

Down* just carry on regardless of them.

when is their actual anniversary?

Why do you think that someone else's parents wedding anniversary should be more important than Glastonbury to them!? It's your parents not theirs. I must admit, we don't really do in law family parties for anniversaries but even if we did I can't see being particularly keen to go. Spending a day in the company of other people, likely to include some they don't know well ( or maybe not at all) making small talk with a range of people of all ages. Or go to Glastonbury. Not a difficult choice in my book! Not everyone makes a big deal of anniversary parties and its fine that you do, but also fine that they don't.

@Bluerussian paragraph 5

I can take it, I probably deserve it to be fair!

OneForMeToo - Do people really throw big parties for other people’s wedding anniversaries

Of course they do for the big anniversaries such as Silver wedding, Ruby wedding, Golden Wedding etc. Surprised that you have never heard of this

Given that people are flying in from the USA for this particular party on this date it is pretty selfish to opt out now that they have a "better offer"

Sigh paragraph 4 even, it's my first day off work this week, I'm on the Christmas bucks fizz