To be so angry at my family going to Glastonbury?

[rosess]

Brother and sister in law informed everyone yesterday that they got tickets to Glastonbury this year, and they will be going for the full duration. Which means they are going to miss out on not only their daughters 15th birthday which is on the Saturday of the festival, but also my parents 50th wedding anniversary party, which has been arranged since last year that we will be hosting a party for them on the Sunday. Their two eldest children who are 20 and 23 also bagged tickets along with their mates, so they also won't be there.

I told them all that it's not fair or responsible for them to have booked tickets, they all obviously knew it was their daughters/sisters birthday and my parents wedding anniversary. The whole weekend was going to be a huge family get together, however not anymore. My eldest niece even tried to argue with me about it, saying how it's the 50th anniversary, always been on their bucket list etc. I don't care, they are missing important family dates.

They have said they are celebrating their daughters birthday the weekend prior and that they are even going to attempt to get a ticket in the resale for her, although it will be tough to get, however if they do, they'll then take their youngest who is 12, and can get in for free. So potentially the whole family will be absent.

I'm furious. They have ruined the party already, they should of never of even thought about getting tickets, it's so unfair for my parents.

I'm tempted to message my brother, and beg him to not go, my mum is quite upset that he won't be at the party. Aibu to be so angry at them all?

Don't you like- just - buy them? Like from a website or something?

If only that were so, I'd be going in June.

In terms of the anniversary party, a lot depends on how much notice rosess’ brother had so he could point out the proposed date clashed with Glastonbury. For some people, Glastonbury, World Cup Finals etc are incredibly important and these dates are all known a long time in advance.

The ones I feel sorry for are the younger children. How must they feel knowing their parents and siblings are off to Glastonbury, leaving them behind?

The younger kids might not be bothered. I’ve never convinced my 18yo to go to Glastonbury yet!

Of course YANBU about them missing the anniversary, assuming they knew the date of the celebration. Why on earth would anyone think it OK to treat a festival as more important than their parents' marriage? "But it's Glastonbury" - so what? It's still just a festival, it happens every year, but your parents only get one golden wedding.

If your parents are upset about it, it's their call to address it with their son.

Yep, this, and all the other similar things that have been said. You REALLY need to stand back from this. Their daughter and your parents can fight their own battles.
Your role in this is to make the party amazing, so that no-one misses them.

The important thing is to keep the family together and help your parents feel better. Slagging him off won't achieve anything that helps your parents. Please don't add fuel to the fire.

No I’m an antisocial fuck couldn’t even tell you how long the parents have been together or what month there anniversary is either. They have never made a big deal of it. Barely remember my own

OP dont re-arrange, they have made it clear they would rather behave like sad middle aged pratts chasing their youth than be with their own Daughter on her bithday and your parents on such a huge milestone. Let them get on with it. No doubt they will be looking to you to babysit for a week, i hope your answer is NO

birdsarecute45 yes people were getting up.with laptops.ipads.every single device out on tables all to press "get ticket" the second the release went out.they went within minutes.it was trending all over twitter which is why iknow this.it went mad!

There might be a generational aspect to this. Until the 1970s almost nobody lived together without being married and most children were born after the marriage. It's very easy in those circumstances to know how long parents have been married, and wedding anniversaries are maybe more important to earlier generations. They certainly are to my parents, who are still disappointed that my brother and his family missed their Golden Wedding Anniversary party a few years ago by thoughtlessly booking a holiday for that date.

When I was 15 I wouldn't have been bothered if my parents missed my birthday. I suppose it is a bit off for them to book Glastonbury when they already knew it was the same weekend as their parents but it's not your concern. They have to justify themselves to their parents, not you. Just keep out of it.

Are you the one who always arranges things and expects your family to a) obey you and b) make a lot of fuss of you for being Such a Wonderful Organiser, by any chance? It sounds like you need to get over yourself and mind your own business. Your brother and his wife want to do something other than attend a party you have organised. Tough. You can either behave like an adult, or you can stamp and bellow and ensure this turns into a massive family fight with ramifications that linger for years. Up to you.

it's not fair or responsible for them to have booked tickets, they all obviously knew it was their daughters/sisters birthday and my parents wedding anniversary.

They knew that but did they - specifically - know and agree to the plans for the party on those dates? Or OP did you just assume they would keep them clear? (does your brother let/expect/rely on you doing all the sorting out family stuff and usually just go along with stuff you sort out? I also get the impression that it is OP who is hosting and organising therefore pissed off ) And why you only finding this out now at high stakes/emotion Xmas time?

Lol @sgb xposts. Quite

Yabu, it is entirely up to your brother whether he and his family attend, tbh although I Always did my duty I always found this sort of family event extremely trying and I would have loved to bunk off to a festival if I'd had the chance. I'm sure the 2 children at home will have a good time with their grandmother.

Op, I don't think you're making a fuss about nothing. When did Glastonbury become more important than making someone happy whose been there for you all your life? People are so selfish on here about older people, a 50th anniversary is a marvellous achievement and if they think a festival is more important then sod them- do NOT move the date!

You've said your bit. You can't change their minds. No point having guests there that don't want to attend - doesn't matter whether you think they are right or wrong.

Now you just need to reassure your mum that it will be a great party. And then crack on with it.

They might only get tickets to Glastonbury once. Birthdays are ever year. I think YABU

they are going to miss out on not only their daughters 15th birthday which is on the Saturday of the festival, but also my parents 50th wedding anniversary party

They aren't missing out, if they'd rather be elsewhere..

I'd rather stick knitting needles in my ears than listen to Macca. 30 minute sing-a-long of Hey Jude versus a Golden Wedding party? Hmmmm

I've always thought that a wedding anniversary was just for the couple concerned to celebrate not a family affair. Its about their love and their marriage.
Also 15 isn't a special birthday, 16 is the important one.
I think it all hangs on are they normally considerate or is being selfish routine for them.

I think you’re OTT about the 15yo’s birthday. I wouldn’t have given a same about my parents celebrating with me on a different day, for a reason that good!

How come you’re not complaining that your parents are eclipsing her birthday with their big do? Oh wait! It’s because it’s not a big deal to celebrate a birthday another time. Right from being a small child we grow up with a party on Saturday, not our actual birthday.

I’m not sure about 50th anniversary party vs Glastonbury. But I do think it’s between your brother and parents.

Can't rearrange the party, my auntie and cousins have booked and arranged transport from America so they can attend the party
If they are coming from America, they aren't coming just for a day. Move the party a day or two.

I certainly wouldn’t expect a 20/23yo to give up a fantastic gig for a family party!

It would be nice if they said “sorry I won’t be there grandma” but I sincerely hope I’d be saying to my granddaughters “are you JOKING? Glasto 50th? Raise a drink to us from your field!”

YABU Glastonbury tickets are like gold dust!!! Especially 50 year anniversary ones!! I wouldn’t give a shite what I missed if I had them magical tickets 😂😂

Did they not tell your parents sooner? They seem to think there presence would not be missed, why? Are they not close with your parents? Do they have form for selfish behaviour? What do your parents think? Are they upset?

I agree its a bit rock and hard place. It would undoubtedly cost a hundred pounds + to change flights. There may be other factors around why the dates cannot move.

What is the distance to Glastonbury? Could they do a Thursday night pre-party with your parents?

To be honest, it's Glastonbury. It's on every year mostly. It's great watching on TV too. The 50th year will be much like other years. They have just bought into the hype and wanted an excuse to go. Your parents must be at least mid 60s so its a shame.