To be so angry at my family going to Glastonbury?

[rosess]

Brother and sister in law informed everyone yesterday that they got tickets to Glastonbury this year, and they will be going for the full duration. Which means they are going to miss out on not only their daughters 15th birthday which is on the Saturday of the festival, but also my parents 50th wedding anniversary party, which has been arranged since last year that we will be hosting a party for them on the Sunday. Their two eldest children who are 20 and 23 also bagged tickets along with their mates, so they also won't be there.

I told them all that it's not fair or responsible for them to have booked tickets, they all obviously knew it was their daughters/sisters birthday and my parents wedding anniversary. The whole weekend was going to be a huge family get together, however not anymore. My eldest niece even tried to argue with me about it, saying how it's the 50th anniversary, always been on their bucket list etc. I don't care, they are missing important family dates.

They have said they are celebrating their daughters birthday the weekend prior and that they are even going to attempt to get a ticket in the resale for her, although it will be tough to get, however if they do, they'll then take their youngest who is 12, and can get in for free. So potentially the whole family will be absent.

I'm furious. They have ruined the party already, they should of never of even thought about getting tickets, it's so unfair for my parents.

I'm tempted to message my brother, and beg him to not go, my mum is quite upset that he won't be at the party. Aibu to be so angry at them all?

Can't the 12 and 15 year olds come to the party?

If flights over from America have already been booked then you can't move the date. Just go ahead and have a lovely party without them. Make it a corker.

I completely understand how upset you are, but I strongly suggest you stay out of it and leave them to it. This is their hill to die on, not yours. They will be the ones who have to deal with the backlash.

Glastonbury tickets are very hard to get, if I had got some I'd be going too! It's up to them what they do, nothing to do with you.

I'd keep your opinion to yourself as it won't go down well if you say anything. There must be lots of other guests going to your party, a few missing family members won't spoil it. Invite some more of their friends instead.

You have no right to try to control their behaviour in this way, because you think they ought to be doing something different.

It's between them and their DD what happens about her birthday. It's between them and your parents what happens about the wedding anniversary.

It isn’t really anything to do with you, sadly, and voicing your opinion will only cause further upset.

Can’t quite get my head around them leaving their daughter on her birthday though. Did they not try and get her a ticket too?

At the end of the day, they are adults and can do what they like. I am sure this party is very important to your parents, however how they treat your parents in general is more important than one party. Clearly this festival is very important to them. If there are people travelling from America etc, I am quite sure the party will still be very special, even if your brother is not in attendance. Really an anniversary is more about the couple celebrating their own marriage anyway, personally I don't believe that all family should be guilted into celebrating that with them. The birthday is irrelevant and really none of your business to be honest.

Christ, I missed my mother’s 80th birthday party due to work and my parents 40th wedding anniversary as I was on a pre-booked holiday.

I’m still welcomed at the other million family events I attend.

Enjoy the party, don’t make a big thing about Absent Friends () and Absent Friends won’t be a big thing.

Given the fact there are family flying in from the US means the 50th wedding party wasn't going to be a meal down at your local Beefeater....
Can your DB pay for the rearranging of the aunt/cousins travel arrangements from the US if you change the date of the party?

"should of never of"" gave me a headache

Can't you change the party weekend. Glastonbury is a huge weekend for some and tickets hard to come by - unfortunately that date can't be changed so easily

YANBU, OP. But this is between your parents and your brother, really.

They were unreasonable even attempting to get tickets given they knew the party was booked.

They’re immensely selfish but you can’t do anything about it. Have a lovely time with your parents.

I don't understand why they're going to Glastonbury without their 15 year old daughter? That seems incredibly mean of them - why are she and the 12 year old being left out?

When did Glastonbury become this thing that's above all other things? I've been before a few times, last time was 10 years. It used to be a music festival, you went if you like the lineup, if not then look again next year.

Now it's become a "thing". And if you've got two teenage children why aren't you organising so you all go as a family? What parents put in for two tickets and then workout their kids care? It just seems a weird mindset. The fact that one child has a birthday on the weekend makes it even weirder

Feeling sorry for the younger kids in the family, esp the 15 year old - how come their parents didn't get them tickets at the same time?

However, when do Glastonbury tickets get booked? September isn't it? When was the party arranged? Why is this only coming to light now? It sounds slightly as if their attendance was assumed not previously confirmed or consulted on. In which case I'm not sure they are being unreasonable.

and tbh it's probably easier to rearrange flights at this notice than to get Glastonbury tickets

YABU over the dd's birthday - that can be celebrated on any day, whereas they can't get Glastonbury moved. Even if that were an issue - which it really isn't - then it it none of your birthday.

The fact they have chosen this year to try and get tickets when they knew it was the same year as this celebration says a lot about their choices, and is a reflection on them. No need for you to get worked up about it though.

I think it is a poor choice on their part, but I still think YABU to be so angry over it. It isn't worth the raised blood pressure. It is what they have chosen to do, and that is for them to deal with the fall out and upsetting their parents - not your issue.

Why have they ruined it? Is their presence more important than everyone else who will be there? Sometimes it's alright to think of yourself, if you're into glasto the 50th anniversary is definitely one to try for, and getting tickets was savage; they probably thought they wouldn't be successful when they tried!

Also they would have had to buy the tickets when they first went on sale months ago. They sell out in minutes. So they’ve known about this for months.

How’s looking after the 15 and 12 year old when they go?

Most anniversaries are just for the couple but gold is usually a family occasion.

And Glastonbury is on most years.

Get a grip of yourself.

So yanbu, it’s selfish of them.

You sound like a nightmare. You make grandiose plans and everyone must fall into step with you or you kick off. It is not all about you.

"should of never of"" gave me a headache

YABU - when i turned 15 I didn’t care where my parents where and sounds like she might be able to come with them anyway.
The parents party is another issue and not for you to get involved in. It’s their life and they can do what they want - it’s a party not a summons!

OP they are not going to change their plans. You will have to accept that.

So you have 2 options:

Carry on regardless and have an amazing party without them
or
Change the dates, at some inconvenience to you and to other people coming, but have the thing you want to happen.