To be so angry at my family going to Glastonbury?

[rosess]

Brother and sister in law informed everyone yesterday that they got tickets to Glastonbury this year, and they will be going for the full duration. Which means they are going to miss out on not only their daughters 15th birthday which is on the Saturday of the festival, but also my parents 50th wedding anniversary party, which has been arranged since last year that we will be hosting a party for them on the Sunday. Their two eldest children who are 20 and 23 also bagged tickets along with their mates, so they also won't be there.

I told them all that it's not fair or responsible for them to have booked tickets, they all obviously knew it was their daughters/sisters birthday and my parents wedding anniversary. The whole weekend was going to be a huge family get together, however not anymore. My eldest niece even tried to argue with me about it, saying how it's the 50th anniversary, always been on their bucket list etc. I don't care, they are missing important family dates.

They have said they are celebrating their daughters birthday the weekend prior and that they are even going to attempt to get a ticket in the resale for her, although it will be tough to get, however if they do, they'll then take their youngest who is 12, and can get in for free. So potentially the whole family will be absent.

I'm furious. They have ruined the party already, they should of never of even thought about getting tickets, it's so unfair for my parents.

I'm tempted to message my brother, and beg him to not go, my mum is quite upset that he won't be at the party. Aibu to be so angry at them all?

I understand your annoyance, as the weekend had been earmarked in advance. But it's your mum , dad and their daughter they are really letting down, not you. Who is looking after their youngest two DC? It's a bit selfish of them, I know Glastonbury tickets are like golddust and would like to go myself but why this year, they could easily try for tickets on other years that don't clash with DD birthday and big anniversary of parents, they sound a bit self absorbed and even if you rearrange I wouldn't count on them coming if they get a better offer !

So then....it’s not about the family

It’s about the couple sticking together and wanting a party for themselves.

Not everyone is into large shows of self congratulations

I wonder whether the op's brother actually likes his parents, there may be more to this than we know.

I’m wondering whether the brother actually likes a past-his-best Paul McCartney and Taylor Swift.

God, Glastonbury was once cool.

I'm kind of surprised by the replies on here saying OP is selfish and controlling and that family events are boring etc. The DB was involved in planning and choosing the date and committed to go and it sounds like a big deal with all the family there. OP should definitely not rearrange and mess up everyone else's plans just because her DB is a flake IMO. He has behaved badly IMO but OP that's for him to explain to your DPs, don't say anything further, just enjoy the party without him. I'm just surprised so many ppl think its absolutely fine for him to do this and saying they'd do the same. And I don't even have a close family.

@Dayslikethese1,

I think the brother is a flake too.

Where I think OP is controlling, is her reaction is to be furious and wanting to beg him to reconsider. Her anger over how is family chooses to celebrate his daughters birthday seems way ott and absolutely none of her business.

His plans aren’t her business, and she’s trying to make them so.

If the parents want to be upset, they need to talk to him about it. But I don’t view it as her place at all.

My brothers pull this shit all the time. But I’m not their keeper or responsible for them. My parents raised them, they know what they are like.

OP, it’s done, your brother has made his decision, his priorities are not the same as yours and whilst I think you’re justified in being disappointed by his choice, you need to accept it and focus on damage limitation. No matter how pissed off you are with him you need to let your mum know that the party will still be fine and you can still have a family gathering when your relatives are over all together.

Try and put aside your animosity towards your brother and see if you can plan something for the Tuesday before they go to Glasto when all the relatives are in town. You can still make some family memories that day and celebrate the anniversary on the actual day with the rest of you. But you need to go with a shift in plans and recognise you have plenty of time to plan something for the Tuesday. Your brother is far more likely to cooperate with you and host something before he goes away if you engage with him calmly and positively to try and achieve a win/win whereby your parents have two celebrations that week with the relatives rather than one. If you get lemons, try to make lemonade and talk to your brother about solutions, not berate him about his choice. You’ll get a better outcome that way for all of you.

CurlyhairedAssassin Mon 30-Dec-19 22:51:31
I’m wondering whether the brother actually likes a past-his-best Paul McCartney and Taylor Swift.

God, Glastonbury was once cool.
....
Still is from what I've heard. There's more to Glasto than the headliners, plenty of others to hear and see and a good time had by all.

I'm still wondering if the op's bro likes his parents that much.