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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

On my last nerve AIBU??

206 replies

Extradotcom · 24/12/2019 10:41

Okay so I know i’m not really BU.
MIL has a dog (terrier breed) that me and DH know she doesn’t look after to her full ability. The dog doesn’t get walked, no one has bothered to properly house train it. MIL has told me herself that every morning when she comes downstairs the dog has weed and pooed on her kitchen floor.
Rewind to a week ago, MIL books a holiday abroad over the Christmas period for two weeks (including actual Christmas) but doesn’t make arrangements for the dog, just assumes me and DH will have him. We have a two year old and I’m 20 weeks with our second plus we know the dog is dirty so we said no. MIL INSISTED that he only does one little wee on the floor every now and again if he’s excited but we still said no. MIL then throws a strop saying “well I can’t go on holiday now and I’ve paid for it” and really pressures us into having the dog so eventually we said yes. Less than 12 hours after the dog being here we went out for two hours (dog was let out just as we were leaving) came back and the dog had pooed 5 times on the kitchen floor then trod it all through the house. My DD came back and also trod in it in her new boots while we were trying to clean it up. I have washed them and they’re fine but that’s not the point. He’s pooed on the floor every day he’s been here (6 days).
The last straw is that I’ve come down this morning and he’s ripped my brand new £1200 sofa. It looks like he’s been sat there all night clawing at it and all the threads have come out. I know MIL can’t afford to replace it so I won’t even bother asking. There’s also a very strong smell of wee in my living room.
I just feel like MIL knew her dog was like this and still pushed him onto us and it’s all very selfish as she’s able to go off and enjoy her holiday but I’ve got to spend my Christmas cleaning up dog poo and having my furniture damaged. DH has said he will contact her today and tell her she has to make different arrangements as he still has another 8 days until she’s back. Is there anything else I can do that anyone can suggest? I have tried locking him in the kitchen but we have those push open double doors and he just lets himself out

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 24/12/2019 10:49

A gate across the doorway?

And I'd gave used the two weeks to train him

Poor animal

mrsbyers · 24/12/2019 10:53

Train him while she’s away and / or get hold of a child gate to contain him while you’re out

Stressedout10 · 24/12/2019 10:54

Hand the poor dog to the RSPCA as she should not have a dog if she can't even house train itAngry

timeforteea · 24/12/2019 10:55

I think a pen of some kind would have been better to keep him enclosed whilst alone. My well trained dog doesn't have free rein of the house when alone.
I feel for you as dog mess really does smell horrible. Could you borrow/buy and ask for the money for a pen?

Thehop · 24/12/2019 10:56

Get a cage for him overnight and when you leave the house and give her the bill

Or put in kennels that she had to pay for to collect him.

Horrible cow. She’s vile to you and her dog and doesn’t deserve him.

DingDongDenny · 24/12/2019 10:56

Buy a dog cage off gumtree and put the dog in it overnight with puppy pads

Hoppinggreen · 24/12/2019 10:58

I feel sorry for the dog but you agreed to have it so I don’t have much for you
Mil is a CF but CF only get away with it if you let them
Try a crate or barricade of some sort

thenightsky · 24/12/2019 10:59

Can you book him into kennels for the rest of the time she is away?

I don't know how old the dog is, but would he still be young enough to be house trained in the 8 days you've got left?

Wattagoose90 · 24/12/2019 10:59

The poor pup.

She's so outrageous. I'd suggest looking into kennels/home boarding but I think you'd probably have to pay upfront. I'd also suggest telling her she has to come home or you'll be taking the dog to be rehomed (but wouldn't actually follow through with this).

I'd also make her pay to have the carpets deep cleaned. Is the sofa covered by your home insurance?

Original poster
Extradotcom · 24/12/2019 10:59

All good suggestions I have a child gate but it’s to stop my dd (and now the dog) from going up the stairs. If I got a pen/another gate/put him in kennels she wouldn’t pay for it as she would just say that we chose to do that. We do have the keys to her house so I think I’m going to put the dog back and tell her she has to make different arrangements for him. My house stinks, he’s damaged my new sofa and he’s annoying in general (barking, white fur everywhere etc)

OP posts:
Soubriquet · 24/12/2019 11:01

Tbh I would put him in kennels

Original poster
Extradotcom · 24/12/2019 11:01

@thenightsky the dog is about 5 so no hope of training I don’t think. He is trained in the sense that if you open the door he will go outside to go to the toilet but on the other hand if he needs to go and no one is there to let him out then he will just go on the floor. This comes from MIL being lazy in general and not bothering. She is also getting a new (much bigger breed) dog in the new year so I really feel for that dog too.

OP posts:
Original poster
Extradotcom · 24/12/2019 11:02

I feel like my Christmas break has been ruined so she can enjoy hers

OP posts:
OceanSunFish · 24/12/2019 11:02

No advice but I would be so angry about this! Angry

WireBrushAndDettolMaam · 24/12/2019 11:03

Definitely crate him. You could train him for it within a day if you watched a video on YouTube so he doesn’t howl and try to get out.

rookiemere · 24/12/2019 11:03

If she can afford to go on holiday she can afford to repair your sofa.

Crate off gumtree and puppy pads for poor doggie.

Why on earth did you agree to this? When she comes back suggest she gives dog to a shelter so he can get a decent owner who will walk and train him.

WorraLiberty · 24/12/2019 11:04

Even if the OP had the money for kennels (they need payment upfront), I seriously doubt this poor dog's vaccinations are up to date, so there's no way they'd accept it.

WireBrushAndDettolMaam · 24/12/2019 11:04

the dog is about 5 so no hope of training I don’t think.

Oh there’s definitely hope of training him!

FAQs · 24/12/2019 11:05

That sounds a nightmare! I have a terrier and they are in general very clever and pick up training fast, took my dog 3 days when she was a puppy. I wouldn’t put up with that!

Kennels might be an issue if it hasn’t had vaccines. No other relatives who can step in? Excuse the pun.

SentimentalKiller · 24/12/2019 11:05

YABU for saying yes. What did you think would happen Hmm

anon2000000000 · 24/12/2019 11:05

Phone a kennels. Is he vaccinated? A lot don't take them if they're not.

iswhois · 24/12/2019 11:06

Poor dog.

You will have to sort something out for him for now, a gate to keep him in kitchen- lay down a lot of puppy pads possibly. Are there any other relatives who can help?

Instagrump · 24/12/2019 11:06

Put a call out on Facebook asking for a dog cage stating because you got dumped with an untrained dog for weeks that has covered your house in shit and piss and clawed holes in your expensive sofa. And make sure MIL is on your friends list.

rookiemere · 24/12/2019 11:08

Cross posts, can't believe she is thinking of getting another dog when she doesn't look after her existing one. What a selfish woman and not caring about the impact on others. What has she done with dog when she went on holiday before?

XXXXXX42 · 24/12/2019 11:09

I wouldn’t try to crate an untrained dog. Cover your furniture with throws or towels. Put dog in kitchen with door shut at night and if you are out. Put dog out in the garden every hour or 2 when you are in. Try and get dog into kennels.