On my last nerve AIBU??

[Extradotcom]

Okay so I know i’m not really BU.
MIL has a dog (terrier breed) that me and DH know she doesn’t look after to her full ability. The dog doesn’t get walked, no one has bothered to properly house train it. MIL has told me herself that every morning when she comes downstairs the dog has weed and pooed on her kitchen floor.
Rewind to a week ago, MIL books a holiday abroad over the Christmas period for two weeks (including actual Christmas) but doesn’t make arrangements for the dog, just assumes me and DH will have him. We have a two year old and I’m 20 weeks with our second plus we know the dog is dirty so we said no. MIL INSISTED that he only does one little wee on the floor every now and again if he’s excited but we still said no. MIL then throws a strop saying “well I can’t go on holiday now and I’ve paid for it” and really pressures us into having the dog so eventually we said yes. Less than 12 hours after the dog being here we went out for two hours (dog was let out just as we were leaving) came back and the dog had pooed 5 times on the kitchen floor then trod it all through the house. My DD came back and also trod in it in her new boots while we were trying to clean it up. I have washed them and they’re fine but that’s not the point. He’s pooed on the floor every day he’s been here (6 days).
The last straw is that I’ve come down this morning and he’s ripped my brand new £1200 sofa. It looks like he’s been sat there all night clawing at it and all the threads have come out. I know MIL can’t afford to replace it so I won’t even bother asking. There’s also a very strong smell of wee in my living room.
I just feel like MIL knew her dog was like this and still pushed him onto us and it’s all very selfish as she’s able to go off and enjoy her holiday but I’ve got to spend my Christmas cleaning up dog poo and having my furniture damaged. DH has said he will contact her today and tell her she has to make different arrangements as he still has another 8 days until she’s back. Is there anything else I can do that anyone can suggest? I have tried locking him in the kitchen but we have those push open double doors and he just lets himself out

Thanks for all of your replies. I was so angry at the time of my reply as he really has done a lot of damage to my home (he has now chewed my internet cable off the wall). I messaged MIL with photos of what he’d done and asked her to make other arrangements but she read and ignored them. Realistically now I’ve calmed down I would not leave the dog on his own in her house so he’s still here, we are in all day tomorrow/today so I’m going to take him on a long walk while dh makes Christmas lunch then he’s going to have a nice dinner and a snuggle. I do feel awful for the dog as even here when we are indoors he seems to just sit in his bed as that’s what he’s made to do at home. I don’t think he even has toys so I have bought him some and wrapped them for the morning. He’s currently asleep on the rug in front of the fire but I will be locking him in the kitchen (his bed and food/water are in there) as soon as me and DH go up to bed once our Christmas Day prep is done

Although I do feel very resentful that mil is posting all of her fab holiday pictures on Facebook while I’m sat at home exhausted, pregnancy sick and stressing out about this dog

He sounds like he will have a wonderful Xmas day. A long walk to tire him out and some toys maybe what he needs. However some let her get away with it and make her pay you something. After all a kennel would have done and you shouldn't have so much damage

Sounds like MIL needs to be rehomed.... (nursing home far, far away!) Dog needs intensive training, and insurance people need to be called (at MIL’s expense.)

Why is he made to stay in his bed at home? That’s so cruel. He deserves better than your mother in law. Sounds like he will have a nice day with you but it’s a shame about your home.

She isn’t fit to be a dog owner. I’d report her.

That poor dog. Ours Ddog can be a shit at times but that's his separation anxiety, which got worse after we moved house. It took me longer than it admittedly should to realize that and now I've got him in training and have more of a routine, he's not as bad.

We do have to block him from going anywhere with carpets while we're out and fence in the Christmas tree with dining room chairs. I agree with PPs who say make sure he's contained to one room but don't crate, as that requires training and not all like it. We tried with ours but he destroyed the crate (husky).

Your MIL is the worst. She shouldn't get another dog. The poor thing for not getting to do anything but lay in bed.

Snuggles with dogs can be very calming so leave your DH to clean up the mess and you sit with Ddog and give him rubs. When I'm stressed, my Ddog senses it and lays on me for snuggles. (Yes, 60lb of dog climbs onto my lap for snuggles because he still thinks he's a puppy!) The dog will also love the snuggles and attention.

God your MIL is a cow!!

OP, your update is much more rational, thank you.

I understand the frustration over the mess, and resentment because you didn’t want to look after the dog in the first place. But try and think of it from the dog’s perspective. He is scared, clearly unwanted, and has probably been shouted at for the destruction (which he has understandable caused - he’s scared and bored and untrained). With some effort, you’ll have a much better behaved dog at the end of the 8 days. Take him on the walks, praise him, train him, cuddle him. Use this situation to teach your DD about how to care for animals. Don’t take it out on the dog.

Your MIL sounds horrible. Maybe you should keep the dog (after you’ve trained him)?

Thank you for making the effort to make his Xmas day happy with the toys and walk. You will be rewarded when he starts being affectionate with you.

Your MIL is a massive twat but I do hope you’ve learned the MN lesson: “no is a complete sentence”. You have absolutely brought this on yourselves; next time she will have to pay for a kennel, won’t she?

This makes me furious - she’s so irresponsible!

I'd be messaging MIL again about the damage and every poop and say: this is your responsibility to sort out. Would she react to your DH?

You're 20 weeks pregnant and have a toddler. This isn't fair. Are there other siblings who could help?

Definitely keep him contained in one area when you're not there.

I feel for you. We were in a similar situation with a relatives dog and when they picked him up, I may have been a bit irrational about their blasé attitude to dog ownership.

I’ve no idea realistically what you can do for this poor animal In the time you’ve got OP but your MIL sounds awful and as though she shouldn’t have a pet at all never mind another dog.

Although I do feel very resentful that mil is posting all of her fab holiday pictures on Facebook while I’m sat at home exhausted, pregnancy sick and stressing out about this dog

Put your own dog-related pictures on FB in response to her posts, and shame her.

She deserves it, the cow!

(Yes, 60lb of dog climbs onto my lap for snuggles because he still thinks he's a puppy!)

I've had 170lbs of great dane crushing me before now (thinks he's a yorkshire terrier).

I would be taking him straight to a dog kennel / dog sitter and let her pay the bill when she gets back.

Very pleased to see your update about keeping him at yours until she returns. Lots of for you for the next few days.

Whilst the hell is fresh in your mind I would sit your MIL down when she returns and explain how awful she is not to toilet train her dog. Also make it clear that she could spend millions on a holiday next year but you won't be dog sitting so don't ask (also tell her if she dumps the dog on you last minute you will report her to the dog warden for abandonment). Often people like this need it explaining in terms they understand.

Ah that's lovely.

Nothing is the dog's fault.

Hope you have a lovely walk.

I always do dog walking rather than cooking Christmas lunch!

I'd be tempted to post the pictures of the dogs damage on MILs holiday feed, but then I'm evil.
Have a lovely Christmas.

Absolutely share the photos of the dog’s holiday. Even resort to voicing it like the credit card ad. “Cost inclusive trip to Florida - £800; Running Total of of damage done so far by dog £1200; Unwilling sucker dogsitters - Priceless!!!”
Or “I had a lovely time at the adventure park today. Shat all over the place and excavated a brand new £1200 couch. Mum’s laughing into her cocktails about this in Florida! What’s the bet she never pays a penny to fix it?”

Post under her fb photos with photos of the damage and words to the effect of ‘this is what her abandoned dog is up to.’

I hope you and dog are both having a nice Christmas Day.

I would be photographing every poo and sending her the pictures. If I was in the mood, I'd post them on her FB. Poor bloody dog

She hasn't even responded to your messages?? That would be it for me, no qualms about Facebook shaming her. Something along the lines of "meanwhile the dog you guilt tripped us into looking after has pooed all over the house, we have a toddler and I'm pregnant, has caused over £1000 worth of damage, and you've read our messages but can't be bothered to respond. Think about what Christmas you're giving your family while you're sunning yourself and showing off on Facebook"

The absolute fucking brass neck of her!!!

Posting pictures on Facebook. Goady much?!

Sorry OP she has been such a dick to you and DH.

Hope he is planning on some VERY strong words when she's back, she's his mum so don't feel obliged to play the bad guy at any point! Sounds like you're a good team so hopefully this won't happen

Or “I had a lovely time at the adventure park today. Shat all over the place and excavated a brand new £1200 couch. Mum’s laughing into her cocktails about this in Florida! What’s the bet she never pays a penny to fix it?”

Ooooh! Yes!