On my last nerve AIBU??

[Extradotcom]

Okay so I know i’m not really BU.
MIL has a dog (terrier breed) that me and DH know she doesn’t look after to her full ability. The dog doesn’t get walked, no one has bothered to properly house train it. MIL has told me herself that every morning when she comes downstairs the dog has weed and pooed on her kitchen floor.
Rewind to a week ago, MIL books a holiday abroad over the Christmas period for two weeks (including actual Christmas) but doesn’t make arrangements for the dog, just assumes me and DH will have him. We have a two year old and I’m 20 weeks with our second plus we know the dog is dirty so we said no. MIL INSISTED that he only does one little wee on the floor every now and again if he’s excited but we still said no. MIL then throws a strop saying “well I can’t go on holiday now and I’ve paid for it” and really pressures us into having the dog so eventually we said yes. Less than 12 hours after the dog being here we went out for two hours (dog was let out just as we were leaving) came back and the dog had pooed 5 times on the kitchen floor then trod it all through the house. My DD came back and also trod in it in her new boots while we were trying to clean it up. I have washed them and they’re fine but that’s not the point. He’s pooed on the floor every day he’s been here (6 days).
The last straw is that I’ve come down this morning and he’s ripped my brand new £1200 sofa. It looks like he’s been sat there all night clawing at it and all the threads have come out. I know MIL can’t afford to replace it so I won’t even bother asking. There’s also a very strong smell of wee in my living room.
I just feel like MIL knew her dog was like this and still pushed him onto us and it’s all very selfish as she’s able to go off and enjoy her holiday but I’ve got to spend my Christmas cleaning up dog poo and having my furniture damaged. DH has said he will contact her today and tell her she has to make different arrangements as he still has another 8 days until she’s back. Is there anything else I can do that anyone can suggest? I have tried locking him in the kitchen but we have those push open double doors and he just lets himself out

Our dog was 5 when we got him from a rescue place where he spent a lot of time outside just running around with the other dogs.

We didn't house train as such, just regular walks & lots of praise when he peed & pooed!

Maybe we were lucky as he's never had an accident.

But in general I think dog's "instinct" is to go outside isn't it?

@JesusInTheCabbageVan @CarolinaPink
I was joking calm yourselves!! I do have a pet. She’s a 12 year old boxer currently curled up in front of the fire with her buildabear. In all seriousness the mil clearly shouldn’t have a dog or any other pet by the sounds of it.

I have a rescue terrier (he’s a staffie but for some reason that seems to be akin to swearing!) he was 3 when we got him and house trained but of course we had to work with him when we got him as he wasn’t used to our house and new surroundings.

We have only been abroad twice since we got him (he is 11 today!) and that is because we had relatives who were happy to house sit, look after him and walk him.

I could never imagine leaving him somewhere unfamiliar with people he doesnt know and just expecting him to be perfectly behaved and that’s with him being completely house trained and a relative good boy!

The mil is absolutely cruel to leave her dog in such a way that he is clearly not coping and neither are the people who agreed to look after him. It is beyond thoughtless.

You won't be able to potty train it in a few days. It's crapping inside partly out of anxiety (normal toileting needs are not 5 shits in 2 hours).
I really feel for you and the dog, but I voted YABU because this situation was so totally predictable. You absolutely knew it would happen but you gave in anyway and now you're angry it's happening! That's fucking madness! You were crazy to capitulate to her and these as you correctly predicted are the consequences. Next time, if you have a good reason for saying no, don't change your mind!

Poor dog.

Are you walking the dog?? The more walks- the more tired- hopefully the better behaved the dog. They are usually only destructive if they are bored.

Definitely shouldn't have to put up with this..MIL needs to make alternative arrangements right away.

I’ve just come home to find he’s chewed a lump out of my wall and ripped the wallpaper around it and also more poo in the kitchen so he is going back to her house and her neighbour who is feeding the cat will feed and let him in the garden.

I'm sorry but why are you leaving a clearly traumatised dog on its own for so long? Take some responsibility here. It was obviously going to happen.

Leaving a dog at home for 8 days with the neighbour popping in is neglect and cruel. You are as bad as your MIL to be honest. You have lost all my sympathy now.

That poor dog.

Sorry, but I have more sympathy for the dog than for you and your husband. You really should've known better than to leave an untrained dog loose in the house at night and when there's no-one at home.

And as for your MIL not being able to afford the replace your sofa, she can pay you a bit at a time or possibly pay to have it repaired (if that's a possibility). No way would I let that go! She guilted you into keeping the dog, so she can pay the consequences of leaving her untrained dog with two adults who are apparently lacking in common sense.

I'm surprised that even though you KNEW he isn't house trained, you still gave him access to your whole downstairs/ house, wtf would you expect him to not make a mess/ wee/ be destructive ? And why didn'y YOU take him for a long walk BEFORE leaving him alone in the house ??

There's nothing much you can do about whether or not she trains her dog, or if she gets another one, but you CAN say absolutely, definitely NOT going to dog sit again.

Fil used to have a similarly behaved dog, I'm usually really bad at saying no to people and let myself get pressured into doing what's asked but I would not budge when it came to having his dog for two weeks for similar reasons. When he said he'd have to lose money and cancel holiday I said he should have asked before booking.

If I'd let him pressure me into saying yes and the dog behaved how it's always done I'd kind of feel I knew what I was getting myself in to. Your mil isn't looking after dog properly, I think in the same situation I'd buy a play pen or keep him in the kitchen or the easiest cleanable room when you go out. Is he being walked properly by rou and you dh while he's there? If I'd said I'd care for a dog that I knew was as challenging as this I'd try to make his time with us better than he's used to. I'd feel as bad as her if I knowingly returned him to an empty home for two weeks with only a neighbour popping in to feed and let him out. I wouldn't do that to well behaved perfectly trained dog.

There's no way I'd feel ok with passing the responsibility of caring for him with a neighbour. What if they forget? Do they know how badly trained he is and the amount of shit they're gonna have to clean up? Or is the plan to leave the dog living in the shit for a fortnight?

You cant just dump it in the house on its own!
Call her and tell her other arrangements need to be made, but you can’t simply abandon the poor dog

You can’t leave it in the house for eight days! Jesus, that’s barbaric.

I’m sorry that you’ve been railroaded into this situation but you can’t dump the poor thing back home so you need to make the best of it. Lots of walks, stimulating toys and don’t leave it to roam wherever it wants.

I have a total arsehole spirited jack russell so I get it, but with a bit of effort you can manage this.

He’s your responsibility whether you like it or not. If you dump him at her house you’re as bad as your MIL

Poor bloody dog, none of this is his fault but all the humans around him are selfish bastards

Poor sad little dog.
He has no control over his life.he didn't understand why he was at your house but understands very well he is very unwanted and unwelcome.
He needs exercise,understanding and attention with some good training.
He needs a decent living home and the kindest thing you can do is to find him one.
This is really sad.

Loving home not living

Oh,and despite your claim yabu.!

Putting the dog in a house on its own for eight days is an HORRIFIC THING TO DO.

Call small dog emergency rescues to try and find a foster if you are that cruel!

Put the dog in kennels, assuming its had all its injections

you'll never find a space in kennels theyare bvooked up for months

i just noticed she has a cat aswell god help it

Fucks sake some people just shouldn't be allowed pets what a carry on Dog would have been better in kennels or re-homed entirely.

Leave it mil house and go back to feed and walk it.

NO!!!!

FFS!

You can't just leave an animal on its own like that - the poor little thing is stressed enough as it is.

By all means take him back to MIL's but someone need to be there with him. He will be terrified left alone - particularly overnight. And he'll be freezing cold, as I assume the heating is off.

You need someone staying with the dog in his own home.

OP you aren’t that heartless to leave him on his own. Send your H there to look after him if need be, but don’t leave him there on his own. It’s beyond cruel.

Leaving the dog alone (apart from toilet breaks) for 8 days is cruel. I cannot comprehend people who treat animals so badly. A sad read, for me, on Christmas Eve. 🙁

This whole thing is ridiculous. Your husband should stay with the dog at his mother's house as he agreed to look after it.

I feel sorry for you having your things destroyed but this should never have been agreed to in the first place

I would take it back to your MIL's house though and pop in twice a day to feed it and let it out. Obviously let her know what you're doing so she can make other arrangements.

Fuck me what an unbelievably nasty thing to suggest. She doesn't exactly sound like she'll make "other arrangements" does she? This poor, poor dog.

Merry Christmas you poor little dog.

I take it back about him not being a charity case. If the people who supposedly agreed to look at him while his owner is out of the country have genuinely left him back in an empty house with only food and brief garden visits twice a day he would be better off at the dogs trust.

Stuff you so much, OP. You and your husband are officially the ones app are neglecting a dog. At Christmas.