On my last nerve AIBU??

[Extradotcom]

Okay so I know i’m not really BU.
MIL has a dog (terrier breed) that me and DH know she doesn’t look after to her full ability. The dog doesn’t get walked, no one has bothered to properly house train it. MIL has told me herself that every morning when she comes downstairs the dog has weed and pooed on her kitchen floor.
Rewind to a week ago, MIL books a holiday abroad over the Christmas period for two weeks (including actual Christmas) but doesn’t make arrangements for the dog, just assumes me and DH will have him. We have a two year old and I’m 20 weeks with our second plus we know the dog is dirty so we said no. MIL INSISTED that he only does one little wee on the floor every now and again if he’s excited but we still said no. MIL then throws a strop saying “well I can’t go on holiday now and I’ve paid for it” and really pressures us into having the dog so eventually we said yes. Less than 12 hours after the dog being here we went out for two hours (dog was let out just as we were leaving) came back and the dog had pooed 5 times on the kitchen floor then trod it all through the house. My DD came back and also trod in it in her new boots while we were trying to clean it up. I have washed them and they’re fine but that’s not the point. He’s pooed on the floor every day he’s been here (6 days).
The last straw is that I’ve come down this morning and he’s ripped my brand new £1200 sofa. It looks like he’s been sat there all night clawing at it and all the threads have come out. I know MIL can’t afford to replace it so I won’t even bother asking. There’s also a very strong smell of wee in my living room.
I just feel like MIL knew her dog was like this and still pushed him onto us and it’s all very selfish as she’s able to go off and enjoy her holiday but I’ve got to spend my Christmas cleaning up dog poo and having my furniture damaged. DH has said he will contact her today and tell her she has to make different arrangements as he still has another 8 days until she’s back. Is there anything else I can do that anyone can suggest? I have tried locking him in the kitchen but we have those push open double doors and he just lets himself out

"meanwhile the dog you guilt tripped us into looking after has pooed all over the house, we have a toddler and I'm pregnant, has caused over £1000 worth of damage, and you've read our messages but can't be bothered to respond. Think about what Christmas you're giving your family while you're sunning yourself and showing off on Facebook"

And this!

I don’t usually condone airing things on Facebook. But honestly? If she is ignoring your messages I’d probably put one up at least of the damage done. She needs to take responsibility for it. From now on though, no is a complete sentence.

Post each and every dogshit through her letterbox as a souvenir of the dog’s holiday?

What justilou suggests.

She can't complain - at least she's getting it "gift wrapped" in a plastic bag.

I've had 170lbs of great dane crushing me before now (thinks he's a yorkshire terrier).

Big dogs are so funny thinking they're still the size of small puppies. Love it!

OP I do hope you've managed to have some what of a good Christmas with the dog.

Sending it back so he is on his own most of the day and night is not fair on the dog

Tough. The OP, her husband and child's right to a Christmas without a dog shitting everywhere and trashing the house is more important than a dog.

Thank you for taking good care of the poor, innocent dog, OP.

Can you anonymously report MIL to the RSPCA? Find out who she is getting the new dog from and anonymously let them know that she is unfit? How is the cat she owns? Does the cat defecate and urinate everywhere too?

Your MIL sounds like a horrible, horrible woman.

Your husband should be dealing with contacting her, it’s his mum. She definitely owes you money.

Please shame her and bill her for the damage. Even if she can't pay in one go, she can sort out a payment plan. If she can afford to jet off to Florida, she can afford to look after her own dog properly and pay for any damage caused.

Call some kennels and take him straight away and the MIL must pay

Can you anonymously report MIL to the RSPCA?

RSOCA will do nothing.

They are pretty useless TBH.

*RSPCA, not RSOCA

And so it begins . . . .

@Extradotcom how are things?

Hi everyone just reading through your comments,
Just a quick update,MIL finally text me back but completely changing the subject and asking about how DDs Christmas was instead. I replied that it was good apart from taking breaks from cooking my Christmas dinner to clean up after her dog. We were out all day Boxing Day and came back to find he’d pissed up our wall, all over our bin and shit 3 times on my kitchen floor. We had (luckily) shut the kitchen door otherwise no doubt my sofa would have been shredded too. 3 days left and then he’s going back. I’ve told DH he needs to ask MIL for money to repair the wall and the sofa. He said he’s going to do it himself (skilled tradesman) but I don’t think that’s the point and she should at least pay for materials needed. It would take hundreds of pounds off our deposit and as explained to DH, we are in a small 2 bed and have our second child on the way so it’s inevitable we’ll need to move house at some point.

P.s for those of you who will say that it’s a long time to keep the dog inside and obviously he will have needed the toilet, he does it pretty much as soon as we go out hence why there’s multiple poos. I’ve always had a dog growing up and he hasn’t pood on the floor since he was just a couple of months old (unless he wasn’t well). He’s 10 now.

Really hoping this poor doggy will be rehomed away from this awful woman 😢

Blimey OP (assuming sadchristmas is a name change) didn’t realise you’re in a rented place - what does your tenancy agreement say about pets?

The dog is pooing because he’s scared and confused imho. Would it be possible for someone to stay at home with him all the time just for the few days you’ve got left? I know it’s unfair on you but how can you enjoy going out worrying what you’re going to return to?

Crate him while you are out/asleep. That will minimise separation anxiety as he should feel safer. And he can't destroy the house in the meantime.

Did she reply to your text telling her about cleaning up after him all over Christmas?

How long were you out for on Boxing Day? The dog was probably terrified, hence the mess.

You really need to start taking some responsibility here. Poor poor animal.

The dog is pooing because he’s scared and confused imho. Would it be possible for someone to stay at home with him all the time just for the few days you’ve got left? I know it’s unfair on you but how can you enjoy going out worrying what you’re going to return to?

What puppymonkey says.

This is a frightened, anxious animal.

He's never walked, so has not had a chance to meet either many people or other dogs, or become used to being taken to different places. All he knows is your MIL and her home. He is stressed out of his skull.

And the same will happen again in her house when she gets her new, big, puppy - in fact her present dog may even attack it out of fear. What is she going to do then?

How long was he alone on Boxing Day? Could you not have taken him with you.

I would just take the dog to a local animal shelter now and blow the consequences. Let your DH deal with his mother. The dog would be far better off there.

I’m okay with just looking after him for the last few days he’s here, but I can’t have him again. I just feel sorry for the poor thing. We were out on Boxing Day for around 7/8 hours. I don’t think he’s pooing out of fear or anxiety as he does it at mils house too, she told me ages ago that she comes down to poo or wee every morning. Unfortunately I couldn’t take him with me on Boxing Day as I was going to my mums house and she already has a big dog and I would be mortified if he damaged her home. MIL is back on the 30th I believe so I’m going to get DH to take him back and ask her to pay for the wall damage, I think I can possibly fix the sofa on my own but if not I’ll also ask for payment for that as it’s just not on, she hasn’t even apologised.

7-8 hours is far too long to leave a dog. He may well shit at MIL's house on a regular basis, but that doesn't mean that he's not doing it from stress and fear at yours. Trust me - he's frightened, lonely and stressed to hell. He's been put in a strange house, full of strange people that he only sees somewhere else every so often, and left alone.

If your MIL cannot be bothered to care for an animal properly. If she is so lazy that she doesn't care if she is cruel - and it is cruel - then the most responsible thing would be to re-home him with an owner who will give him a good life.