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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

On my last nerve AIBU??

206 replies

Extradotcom · 24/12/2019 10:41

Okay so I know i’m not really BU.
MIL has a dog (terrier breed) that me and DH know she doesn’t look after to her full ability. The dog doesn’t get walked, no one has bothered to properly house train it. MIL has told me herself that every morning when she comes downstairs the dog has weed and pooed on her kitchen floor.
Rewind to a week ago, MIL books a holiday abroad over the Christmas period for two weeks (including actual Christmas) but doesn’t make arrangements for the dog, just assumes me and DH will have him. We have a two year old and I’m 20 weeks with our second plus we know the dog is dirty so we said no. MIL INSISTED that he only does one little wee on the floor every now and again if he’s excited but we still said no. MIL then throws a strop saying “well I can’t go on holiday now and I’ve paid for it” and really pressures us into having the dog so eventually we said yes. Less than 12 hours after the dog being here we went out for two hours (dog was let out just as we were leaving) came back and the dog had pooed 5 times on the kitchen floor then trod it all through the house. My DD came back and also trod in it in her new boots while we were trying to clean it up. I have washed them and they’re fine but that’s not the point. He’s pooed on the floor every day he’s been here (6 days).
The last straw is that I’ve come down this morning and he’s ripped my brand new £1200 sofa. It looks like he’s been sat there all night clawing at it and all the threads have come out. I know MIL can’t afford to replace it so I won’t even bother asking. There’s also a very strong smell of wee in my living room.
I just feel like MIL knew her dog was like this and still pushed him onto us and it’s all very selfish as she’s able to go off and enjoy her holiday but I’ve got to spend my Christmas cleaning up dog poo and having my furniture damaged. DH has said he will contact her today and tell her she has to make different arrangements as he still has another 8 days until she’s back. Is there anything else I can do that anyone can suggest? I have tried locking him in the kitchen but we have those push open double doors and he just lets himself out

OP posts:
Cherrysoup · 24/12/2019 13:55

Toilet train it-did mine in 3 days.
Get a crate.
Phone your house insurance about a new sofa.
Get the enzyme removal spray from Pets at Home to spray over previous pee patches.

Breathe and remember your mil is an idiot and never again agree to look after HER dog! We build kennel fees into the cost of a holiday, she needs to do the same next time.

motherheroic · 24/12/2019 13:58

People need to give up the crate suggestion. It takes time and patience to get the dog to associate the crate with good things. You can't just throw it in there and hope for the best.

Sickofrain · 24/12/2019 14:19

Poor you and poor dog!

averythinline · 24/12/2019 14:29

You should have said no
Hope your dh is doing all this cleaning
For now get a crate/cage and never ever have it stay again that's really ole

andyjusthangingaround · 24/12/2019 14:42

No is a full sentence, use it next time

ohfourfoxache · 24/12/2019 14:45

Where is she getting this new dog from? Could you contact the breeder and tell them what she is currently doing?

diddl · 24/12/2019 15:42

Poor, poor dog.

Not walked & just left to shit in the house & then given free rein whilst alone of a strange house!

Had it not had a walk before you left it?

You sound as clueless as MIL!

Original poster
Extradotcom · 24/12/2019 15:50

DH is doing all the cleaning up after him as it’s his mums dog. I’ve just come home to find he’s chewed a lump out of my wall and ripped the wallpaper around it and also more poo in the kitchen so he is going back to her house and her neighbour who is feeding the cat will feed and let him in the garden.

OP posts:
thenightsky · 24/12/2019 15:56

Christ almighty, her house is going to look like a literal shit storm when she gets back in 8 days!

Unless the poor neighbour cleans up. Not nice.

Strokethefurrywall · 24/12/2019 16:08

You sound as clueless as MIL!

Of course she's clueless! It's NOT HER DAMN DOG!!!

Fucks sake, OP has a small child and is pregnant and the day before Christmas is dealing with a dog ruining her home.

I'd be fucking fuming, and telling MiL that either she comes back as takes her dog (and pays for the damage to the house), or the dog is surrendered to any rescue that will have it.

What a massive massive arsehole.

Yetanotherwinter · 24/12/2019 16:08

Put the little bastard in the kennels and your mil will have to pay if she wants it back, which she probably won’t.

diddl · 24/12/2019 16:13

"Of course she's clueless! It's NOT HER DAMN DOG!!"

Well you don't have to be Einstein to not give a dog that isn't house trained the run of the house!

And if you are that clueless, then of course you shouldn't have agreed to look after the dog!

TheFuzzyStar · 24/12/2019 16:14

@yetanotherwinter why is the dog a little bastard?! It’s not his fault!

CarolinaPink · 24/12/2019 16:20

You should have said no, and she shouldn't have booked a holiday unless she knew her dog could be happy in kennels. Pets are a responsibility, and a tie. People shouldn't have them if they're not willing to work around that 👍

Roselilly36 · 24/12/2019 16:21

No way would I have had the dog tbh, if she wants to go away abroad why has she even got one dog let alone another without making proper arrangements that don’t effect her pregnant DIL. She sounds selfish to me.

CarolinaPink · 24/12/2019 16:21

Put the little bastard in the kennels and your mil will have to pay if she wants it back, which she probably won’t.

My pets are glad they don't live with you Hmm

WorraLiberty · 24/12/2019 16:24

Put the little bastard in the kennels and your mil will have to pay if she wants it back, which she probably won’t.

WHAT bloody kennels?? Xmas Angry

It's Christmas Eve. There is no room at the inn and even if there was, the dog would have to have a full vaccination history available to the OP.

NoSauce · 24/12/2019 16:25

Poor dog. It sounds totally traumatised.

ArlenesWoodBurningStove · 24/12/2019 16:26

Does the neighbour feeding the cats know that the dog shits everywhere? Probably kindest to warn them so they’re prepared when they go in.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 24/12/2019 16:27

@Yetanotherwinter I hope you never get a pet.

MrsBricks · 24/12/2019 16:27

To be honest you knew the dog wasn't housetrained and was understimulated so it's pretty obvious this would happen!

I would take it back to your MIL's house though and pop in twice a day to feed it and let it out. Obviously let her know what you're doing so she can make other arrangements.

Her house will be full of shit and chewed to pieces when she gets back from her holiday though...

chuck7 · 24/12/2019 16:29

You need to calm her now and tell her to make other arrangements. Although I wouldn't have agreed to have it in the first place. Wow.

chuck7 · 24/12/2019 16:30

Call her*

Rhinosaurus · 24/12/2019 16:30

YANBU to be upset at the damage to your sofa however YABU to give a dog you know has bahevioiral continence problems the run of your house. My elderly dog was incontinent and we contained her in our open plan downstairs in a large hexagonal pet playpen which gives them a lot of space but also stops them going everywhere , cost £30 secondhand, Ask her for the money, she can afford a holiday so maybe she’s not hard up, even if she doesn’t cough up - compared to the cost of your sofa/carpets/decor that’s a very little amount in proportion.

And no you can’t just dump the dog back in her house to shit everywhere and have no company or walks for 12 days unless the neighbour is kind and cleans up / walks him.

BiteyShark · 24/12/2019 16:40

is going back to her house and her neighbour who is feeding the cat will feed and let him in the garden.

I do think as you have said yes you have a responsibility to the dog to look after it. Sending it back so he is on his own most of the day and night is not fair on the dog. You should have said no. But you didn't and now you should manage the situation at home rather than dumping him in an empty house with the odd visit.