On my last nerve AIBU??

[Extradotcom]

Okay so I know i’m not really BU.
MIL has a dog (terrier breed) that me and DH know she doesn’t look after to her full ability. The dog doesn’t get walked, no one has bothered to properly house train it. MIL has told me herself that every morning when she comes downstairs the dog has weed and pooed on her kitchen floor.
Rewind to a week ago, MIL books a holiday abroad over the Christmas period for two weeks (including actual Christmas) but doesn’t make arrangements for the dog, just assumes me and DH will have him. We have a two year old and I’m 20 weeks with our second plus we know the dog is dirty so we said no. MIL INSISTED that he only does one little wee on the floor every now and again if he’s excited but we still said no. MIL then throws a strop saying “well I can’t go on holiday now and I’ve paid for it” and really pressures us into having the dog so eventually we said yes. Less than 12 hours after the dog being here we went out for two hours (dog was let out just as we were leaving) came back and the dog had pooed 5 times on the kitchen floor then trod it all through the house. My DD came back and also trod in it in her new boots while we were trying to clean it up. I have washed them and they’re fine but that’s not the point. He’s pooed on the floor every day he’s been here (6 days).
The last straw is that I’ve come down this morning and he’s ripped my brand new £1200 sofa. It looks like he’s been sat there all night clawing at it and all the threads have come out. I know MIL can’t afford to replace it so I won’t even bother asking. There’s also a very strong smell of wee in my living room.
I just feel like MIL knew her dog was like this and still pushed him onto us and it’s all very selfish as she’s able to go off and enjoy her holiday but I’ve got to spend my Christmas cleaning up dog poo and having my furniture damaged. DH has said he will contact her today and tell her she has to make different arrangements as he still has another 8 days until she’s back. Is there anything else I can do that anyone can suggest? I have tried locking him in the kitchen but we have those push open double doors and he just lets himself out

Our DDog was a retired greyhound and we house trained him from scratch at 5 years old. It can be done. It's possible that he's anxious and the poo is due to that rather than not being trained IYSWIM. In which case that's a bigger issue as separation anxiety is hard and defecating inappropriately and shredding are key signs. Poor thing. As the weather is cold you could take him out in the car with you when you go out. Lots of dogs with SA are fine in the car. Also, get him a crate and let him be with you (e.g sleep in your room) but in his crate.

Please don’t take the dog back and just leave it telling her to make other arrangements. What is she doesn’t? That poor dog.

I can completely understand your frustration. She is completely irresponsible. Personally I would call rspca or dogs trust and see if they could take it.

Hang on.... the dog shat FIVE times in 2 hours??! After you’d taken it out?
How is that even possible...unless it’s I’ll?

What's your DH's position on all of this? Will he say something about it all to his mother when she gets back?
Suggestion, Tell her that for your health and that of your family you had no option but to buy a crate/put the dog in kennels and you will be expecting her to repay for the damage caused to your couch.
Otherwise you both have doormat written all over you. If she can afford a 2 week holiday, she can budget and afford the rest too!
I'm so angry on your behalf.

To stop him messing, put him out every hour on the hour. Get a water sprayer add a pint of water and ten drops of essential oil, spray around the edge of the room, and your furniture. It will deter him.

Good luck

We use baby gates to restrict access to the family home for our dog. He is trained, but we have cats and they need their space so certain rooms are barred. Argos sell these cheap. As for dog smells of various sources...the only cure is white vinegar and bicarbonate soda. White vinegar even works on cats wee and poo if left to soak in. Its also safe with kids around. I buy gallons of the stuff to wash the floors with since we have 1 dog and 3 cats. You can get it from ebay, or buy locally from an Asian food retailer as it is used a lot in dishes. It doesn't smell too strongly. You can sprinkle baking soda in carpet accidents and leave it for a bit, before hoovering up.

It's Christmas eve, I think you're stuck with him and more fool you for not sticking with your no.

Crate - widrly available second hand or pets at home, you might even have a friend you can borrow one from, and newspaper or puppy pads in the bottom for when you can't supervise him. Poor sod's in a house he doesn't know with people who don't like him and a child and then gets abandoned for what to him seems like forever and he doesn't know when or even if you're coming back and he doesn't know any better than to mess indoors. None of this is his fault so please don't take it out on him.

Put him in a kennel and get your mil to pay you back for it and never again give in to her bullshit guilt. Her dog means her responsibility

Poor dog, and poor you. Get a crate for those last days and give MIL absolute hell when she comes back. Yes, she should replace the damaged sofa and pay for carpet cleaning, if she can pay for a holiday then she can pay for that, if you can’t get it from insurance. And never ever do this irresponsible woman a favour again.

You should have stayed strong and not accepted the dog.

It's not the dogs fault nor yours but I think you just need to do the best you can as you said yes.

Next time say no and mean no. Tell her when she gets back that you will never look after her dog again so don't ask and if she asks after booking tell her she will just have to make other arrangements.

You mentioned that your MIL is getting a new and bigger dog in the new year, omg, does she think that dogs are toys ?

Chances of finding kennels with space this week would be nil I reckon!

Can you get a pet sitter to stay at MILs? If it trashed her house it's not your problem.

I can't understand why you backed down into looking after it when you knew what the dog was like

If she can afford a holiday, then she can afford to pay you back...installments if necessary... for the sofa and deep house clean

Everyone telling op to train the dog..... Erm why? Its not her dog. She was guilted into doing a favour.
Op where did you put your spine when you gave into the guilt. What sort of example are you setting for your kids by being a pushover.
Either kennel the dog or like you have planned put him back in your mils house and never again agree. Grow a spine woman

Of course he can be trained. They don't stop learning when they exit puppyhood. Especially terriers - they're sharp as tacks. The bigger issue is can your MIL be trained. I'm sure she would be shocked if you accused her of neglect, but she is, in fact, failing to meet her dog's needs.

I would rehome the dog. It's neglectful not to train a dog, surely.

Get a water sprayer add a pint of water and ten drops of essential oil, spray around the edge of the room, and your furniture. It will deter him.

DO NOT DO THIS without checking first if the essential oil uppit intend to use is safe for dogs- many are toxic and you'll end up with an emergency vets bill too.

Hang on.... the dog shat FIVE times in 2 hours??! After you’d taken it out? How is that even possible...unless it’s ill?

As far as the dog was concerned he had been abandoned trapped in a strange environment. He shat that much bevause he was highly distressed.

And for fucks sake don't do as somebody else suggested and palm him off on RSPCA or Dogs trust who are already both over stretched and about to be hit even harder shortly after Xmas.

Poor dog. Your Mum is not fit to own a pet, let alone palming him off on you so she can swan off on holiday.

Could you get a dog crate as a temporary measure?

The RSPCA or Dogs Trust aren't going to accept what would effectively be a stolen dog in that scenario.

I think you and DH are BU - for being such utter pushovers. Hopefully you'll learn to say no and mean it after this.

It isn't the OP's responsibility to train the dog, but if she makes sure it goes out every hour and once or twice through the night, she can make sure it doesn't do too much more damage to her house. If the dog is praised a lot for going outside, the message will get through and the job will become easier.

Unfortunately, I doubt the sofa will be replaced or repaired unless the OP pays for it, and the cleaning will be left up to her. But I really hope she learns from this and never does any favours for her MIL again.

An indoor kennel for the nights. Meanwhile strat training him.

This should not have been left to you, but it will make your life easier.

Are you and your DH walking the dog? It will help a lot with the housetraining.

And TBH, I would ask MIL to replace the sofa. She can afford a holiday, she can afford a replacement.

You could kennel her dog and leave her with the bill, but that will be very hard on the poor creature - one of the reasons he is so dirty and destructive is that stress of a new home is making him anxious (and I'll bet you've shouted at/ smacked him - not judging here - you have a lot on your plate and will be pushed to act in an inappropriate way).

Give her an earful when she comes back.

Present her with a bill for the sofa and for the cost of cleaning the carpet, and then tell her to FOTTFSOF and take her mucky pup with her.

I feel so sorry for the dog - terriers are energetic and intelligent and keeping one cooped up is incredibly cruel.

Your mil sounds like a right selfish cow.

Poor dog and poor you.

Perfectly possible to train it. Poor dog - not its fault that it has a lazy owner who doesn't care enough to look after it properly.

FYI for those suggesting crates upthread - crating a dog requires training on its own. You can't just get one and shut a dog in there for hours on end or overnight - it's very cruel.

Realistically your chances of finding a kennels with a vacancy at this time of year are zero - any decent ones will have been booked up months ago.

If you don't have any already, nip and and get a couple of bags of little dog treats and a couple of decent sized chews. This needs lots and lots of positive reinforcement - every time he goes outside, lots of praise and a treat. When he goes inside, ignore him - no punishment but don't fuss him. Dogs are pretty smart and most of them make the connection quite quickly.

If she's getting another one I'd threaten her (and carry it out) with the RSPCA. She's neglecting them.