On my last nerve AIBU??

[Extradotcom]

Okay so I know i’m not really BU.
MIL has a dog (terrier breed) that me and DH know she doesn’t look after to her full ability. The dog doesn’t get walked, no one has bothered to properly house train it. MIL has told me herself that every morning when she comes downstairs the dog has weed and pooed on her kitchen floor.
Rewind to a week ago, MIL books a holiday abroad over the Christmas period for two weeks (including actual Christmas) but doesn’t make arrangements for the dog, just assumes me and DH will have him. We have a two year old and I’m 20 weeks with our second plus we know the dog is dirty so we said no. MIL INSISTED that he only does one little wee on the floor every now and again if he’s excited but we still said no. MIL then throws a strop saying “well I can’t go on holiday now and I’ve paid for it” and really pressures us into having the dog so eventually we said yes. Less than 12 hours after the dog being here we went out for two hours (dog was let out just as we were leaving) came back and the dog had pooed 5 times on the kitchen floor then trod it all through the house. My DD came back and also trod in it in her new boots while we were trying to clean it up. I have washed them and they’re fine but that’s not the point. He’s pooed on the floor every day he’s been here (6 days).
The last straw is that I’ve come down this morning and he’s ripped my brand new £1200 sofa. It looks like he’s been sat there all night clawing at it and all the threads have come out. I know MIL can’t afford to replace it so I won’t even bother asking. There’s also a very strong smell of wee in my living room.
I just feel like MIL knew her dog was like this and still pushed him onto us and it’s all very selfish as she’s able to go off and enjoy her holiday but I’ve got to spend my Christmas cleaning up dog poo and having my furniture damaged. DH has said he will contact her today and tell her she has to make different arrangements as he still has another 8 days until she’s back. Is there anything else I can do that anyone can suggest? I have tried locking him in the kitchen but we have those push open double doors and he just lets himself out

I also meant to say that reassuring the dog will help a lot. It's in a strange environment at a very busy time of year so it's probably scared.

OP, if you know where the MIL is getting the new dog from, can you contact them and warn them about the conditions you would be sending the puppy into?

The dog can be trained. We foster dogs a lot - when a new arrival comes we have it on the lead everywhere in the house. I have a ‘station’ in each room next to a blanket and bowl of water. The following outside schedule works well for us - 6:30am outside for toilet. If you have an enclosed yard/garden then off lead for quicker results. Then do breakfast at 8:30 followed by a nine am medium walk - 20 mins. Back home and on lead. Dog will likely settle for a sleep. 12:00 another yard toileting and then in and on the lead. At 3:pm another yard break and maybe play with toys. At 5:30 dinner and then a yard break 15 mins and a l hour walk at 6:30 (ish). At 10:30 another twenty minute walk and yard time at the end if no poo. This routine works if you stick to it. At night I would barricade dog into kitchen or hall, depending on the flooring. Don’t feel bad having it in the lead in the house and use the kitchen area if you want the dog off lead in the home. Ignore any indoor mess and praise any outdoor poo with a treat and lots of encouraging noises. Use chew treats to keep it busy if your out. If you can’t manage the schedule my one tip would be to barricade the dog anytime it’s not in your sights to minimise mess and destruction. Let me know how it goes!

I'd drop it off at a dog rescue place.

Everyone telling op to train the dog..... Erm why? Its not her dog. She was guilted into doing a favour.

Because it's about the only best option for OP and the dog. They agreed to take the dog knowing that MIL was under playing the issues. Why wouldn't they do their best to make it easier for themselves and for the dog's future interests too?

Either kennel the dog or like you have planned put him back in your mils house and never again agree. Grow a spine woman

For goodness sake - it's Christmas eve and the dog is highly likely to not have the vaccinations need to go into kennels, as well as it being an even more horrifically stressful event for an undocialised and untrained dog. No kennels will have the room and they probably wouldn't take him without dealing with the owner, that's a complete non-starter.

As for abandoning him back in MIL's house, who else is she going to find on Christmas eve to deal with an untrained dog?! Did I mention it's Christmas eve, the chances of her being able to get a flight back herself are slim to none.

That's awful OP, feel so sorry for you and your family and the dog. She sounds incredibly selfish, however you know for next time. It might be better to put the dog in a kennel even if you have to pay - better than having a stinking house. Having to clear that lot up would make me vom! I'd be looking at other options and quickly as you have 8 more days.

Take the dog back to MIL house. Pop in there to feed and let him out for walks. Well, not you, your DH. It's a pain but less so than your house being wrecked and covered in poo. Then message the MIL, tell her what you've done and if she doesn't like it she can come back home. Also tell her what the dog has done to your home and that you are NEVER looking after him again. Then report her to the RSPCA.

try freecycle as well for the dog crate
and maybe contact local vets to see if they have one you can borrow ir hire. - and possibly local dog rescue places for crate hire.

With free cycle/gumtree, look for a gate as well as a crate - either would be an improvement on the dog having free rein.
Do you have any friends with older children that now have a spare gate?
After christmas, talk to RSPCA/Dogs Trust about best way to prevent her getting another dog - or any dog owner training classes that they know of or run.

I feel so sorry for the poor dog. THe evil cow mustn't be allowed to ruin another ones life.

if he needs to go and no one is there to let him out then he will just go on the floor.

FFS!

Be fair on him - he can't hold on for ever!

Why about taking him back to your MIL's and your DH (whose bright idea it was to let him stay with you) can sleep there until his mother comes back?

Not the Christmas you'd want, but at least it's her house getting destroyed rather than yours.

And make it VERY clear that you will NOT be looking after ANY dog at ANY time for her - EVER AGAIN.

The dog will howl all night if it's not used to a crate - we have 4 dogs and they are all crate trained (not that we use them that often as they have for older and are less likely to chew), but you can't just use one and hope for a miracle cure.

You do need to find a way of keeping the dog contained to the kitchen where the floor is easy to clean. To be fair I can't believe you let the dog freely roam the house and cause so much damage when you knew what it was like.

A kong dog toy filled with treats and the meat paste should probably keep it occupied whilst you are out.

This needs lots and lots of positive reinforcement - every time he goes outside, lots of praise and a treat. When he goes inside, ignore him - no punishment but don't fuss him. Dogs are pretty smart and most of them make the connection quite quickly.

What BaolFan suggests.

Dogs aren't stupid - and they like to be clean.

you shold never have agreedbut as pp have said she can go on hliday she can afford to reapir your sofa

and whoever she is getting a dog from wanrn them that she doesnt care or train them

You KNEW this would happen so why are you surprised? Grow a pair and learn to say no and MEAN it - or don't come on here expecting sympathy. Your MIL is BU to expect a 20 week preg woman and a 2 yo to be around dog shit and all it's health implications. But you enabled that.

Poor creature and the silly cow is thinking of another poor aniimal ???

Please meake sure that dosent happen, Please !!

Pop in there to feed and let him out for walks. Well, not you, your DH

NO! Don't just "pop in" - he needs someone in the house at night even if it can't be managed during the day. Let your DH stay with him.

He will be terrified if he's left for hours with just a couple of 10 minute toilet breaks a day.

I feel for the OP - but I feel even more for this poor little unloved dog.

OP your MIL is a cowbag! You have chosen not to have a pet - she should respect that choice and not foist her untrained animal onto you.

If this ever happens again, then stand firm and force her to cancel her holiday if necessary. She's a CF!

And excellent, detailed training advice from trashcan.

I used to work in a kennels and at Christmas they are full I doubt you'd get him in also you'd need his vet records to make sure he'd had his vaccinations also if you won't pay and she won't that's not fair we used to get people refusing to pay all the time and what we supposed to do hold the dog for ransom?

You should have her pay for the damages. She’s taking advantage of you and your DH. I’d be taking the dog to a kennel today and she can pay the bill to pick him up.

If you're in NE Scotland I have a crate you can borrow.

We moved recently and one of ours completely regressed wrt toileting. We took her out every half hour during the day and then ended up staying out with her in the freezing cold (which she doesn't mind) until she did her first outdoor poo.

Also try a very long walk last thing at night to bore it to sleep in the hope that destruction will be less likely.

And one of you should become allergic during this holiday so you dont end up with both dogs in future.

@little we used lavender oil for our dog. Completely safe.

Poor dog. Your MIL is massively irresponsible and I'd be reporting to the RSPCA and giving her an earful too.

Is it possible to crate-train a dog quickly? If so then that might be the solution, along with toilet-training him.

@Queenie8 yep - whereas tea tree and others is toxic as hell to them x

Put him back in your MIL's house and call her and tell her to get her arse back from her jolly.

Your MIL has done the wrong thing but you do have to take some responsibility here too. Why was the dog left to roam the house? You knew what he was like. You can also train a dog to be housetrained too.

The dog is clearly distressed and unhappy, you need to manage that as best you can and then have a serious conversation with your MIL when she's back.

And don't just dump the dog back home. It's cruel.

Gosh OP - I’d be so angry. I’d have called her myself by now and let rip. Stupid cow.

She is also getting a new (much bigger breed) dog in the new year so I really feel for that dog too.

In that case you need to make it VERY clear to her that you will not be looking after either dog ever again so she should bear this in mind before booking holidays.