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AIBU?

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Original poster

To wish husband wasn't nasty about chosen Christmas gift?

205 replies

gitehn · 21/12/2019 21:17

I love a video game where you create characters and control their lives, building their houses and choosing their relationships etc. I'm sure it's obvious what game it is but won't say the name so that I'm not accused of being an advertisement. It is not directly a children's game (though in the right settings children can play it and I let my DC play it sometimes, but you can get modifications to it which make it a bit more adult. Not in a sexual way, just have more interesting scenarios happen etc). My current family in the game is like a soap opera.

I love the game because I'm a very creative person and like using it to create stories. I usually like making dramatic scenarios, affairs, rivalries etc. It is my escapism. While some people like to sit and watch telly with a glass of wine while the DC are in bed (as well as the DH sometimes!) I like to have a glass of wine and play this game for an hour or so.

I have all Christmas presents for DC and family/friends bought and got DH something he wanted (we share an income so it's more just a sentimental thing) and I asked him to get me the newest expansion pack for the game. He laughed at me and said I'm ridiculous, that I'm too old for video games and I should get a life. He also enquired why I couldn't ask for perfume or something like that.

Maybe I am being hormonal (TOTM) but for some reason it's upsetting me. I have a degree, a full time job, a social life and DC. I am by no means addicted to it and I feel it is no different to people winding down in the evening by watching trash on TV. Yet nobody gets made fun of for that. I will literally just play it for a little while with a drink after the DC have gone to sleep, then will come up to bed. I don't even play it every night but it is something I enjoy (and from what I've seen online, it is actually quite a popular hobby among people my age with kids...). He has made me feel like an idiot and I now feel under pressure to stop playing it. I've asked for something else now as I hate the idea of him rolling his eyes and chuckling to himself while buying it.

OP posts:
moreismore · 21/12/2019 21:20

I think you know this but the issue isn’t the gift, it’s that the person who should know you best and defend you to the world has been knowingly unkind. You don’t need to justify the game and you especially shouldn’t need to justify it to your DH. I’m not sure what the answer is but the idiot and child in this scenario is definitely not you Flowers

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 21/12/2019 21:21

I know loads of adults who plays The Sims. Loads of adults play games, we all have different tastes of what we like or dislike.
He's being a twat.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 21/12/2019 21:22

He is a twat. Buy yourself the expansion pack.

Legomanships · 21/12/2019 21:22

Sorry he’s been a bit of a dolt about it. It’s a perfectly reasonably hobby, maybe you could just get it yourself? I’m a big Lego fan, my husband buys it for my for Christmas and birthdays without any issue. It’s good to have an easy present.

burnoutbabe · 21/12/2019 21:23

My other half bought me outer worlds on Xbox for Xmas. And let me have it early as we'll be away over Xmas. Your other half is being daft.

Ohyesiam · 21/12/2019 21:23

He’s your husband and should have your back, not try to make you feel like shit. Flowers

BeanTownNancy · 21/12/2019 21:26

Ah, well MN will tell you any man who plays video games isn't really an adult, so I can only imagine what they think of women who do. Hmm

I think video games are infinitely better for your brain than watching crappy reality TV, so I say fuck him and his shitty attitude and you crack on!

CakeandCustard28 · 21/12/2019 21:26

I know plenty of adults who play video games, myself included. (I love that game too!) Your husband is being a dick.

Lipz · 21/12/2019 21:27

I don't know what game you're playing but it sounds really good . I play golden valley and it's very enjoyable and a great way to relax. Funny thing is my neurologist is all for it as it keeps my brain active (I've a terminal brain disease). So if it helps me great and bonus points it's enjoyable. If your dh makes fun of your game and won't buy you something for it, then feck him !! Lots out adults play some sort of game it's perfectly normal.

bluesatinmanolos · 21/12/2019 21:28

I'm a boring old office worker and I play on my Nintendo DS on the tube to work. Don't let anyone tell you you're not allowed to play video games!

SallyLovesCheese · 21/12/2019 21:30

He's the idiot. Unless you've got a serious problem with playing it too much and your DH has told you many times how annoyed he is about it (which doesn't sound the case) then you can unwind how you like. You're not hurting anyone, or ducking out of responsibilities.

What does HE do in the evenings to relax?

ladyvimes · 21/12/2019 21:30

The problem is your husband not your gaming. Plenty of adults enjoy gaming!

Tigger001 · 21/12/2019 21:32

He should want to encourage and support what makes you happy.

He shouldn't make you feel silly.

Merryoldgoat · 21/12/2019 21:32

My husband and I just had a proper MarioKart session.

I’ve got Zelda on the go and he’s got some zombie thing he plays.

We’re 40s, I’m an accountant and very very normal. Most of our friends have games consoles for themselves rather than they’d kids.

You play away and tell your husband he’s done taking the piss.

CoodleMoodle · 21/12/2019 21:33

Your husband is being a twat. It's what you enjoy and it's not up to him!

But agree with others saying to buy it yourself if you want it, OP. Especially as Origin have got all the expansion packs on half price sale at the moment - I just bought University Life as a present for myself Smile

gamerchick · 21/12/2019 21:34

There's nothing wrong with you OP. Were a gaming family, the oldest being 56 Wink

Your husband is a twat, it doesn't matter what the present was. He's made you feel bad over your hobby, it doesn't matter what the hobby is. Tell him you'll be buying it yourself. I wouldn't have asked for something else.

This shit winds me up. For a gift once I asked for a car battery and a car battery charger and I got it. My husband wouldn't dream of shitting all over my wants... Despite him chortling and saying he's dreading what his colleagues asked him what he bought the wife. Now they wait for the next chapter in the world of my wants.

Your husband is a hurtful twat, take a hug.

BlueBirdGreenFence · 21/12/2019 21:35

That's really unkind of him. I would be upset too. Buy it for yourself and tell him to shove his perfume up his arse.

Aragog · 21/12/2019 21:35

Lots of adults like gaming and that's not an issue.

Is it The Sims?

If so I know lots of adults who play it, many who've played it for years. It's not really a children's game at all - and it has an 12 age rating. It's definitely marketed more at an older age range though.

My 17y dd loves it and has the full game and all the expansion sets, game packs and stuff packs. She has a massive family tree on there and knows her 'family' inside out. She plays very few computer games but loves sims.

I also play it though I love the house building and interior design side more than the game play. I can spend ages on it designing homes and creating characters to live in them. It's the o lay computer game I play.

Dh just accepts it and would never dream of negatively commenting on it. Because he loves us and wouldn't be so negative about something we enjoy.

beautifulstranger101 · 21/12/2019 21:36

Why is he being such a prick about this? Do you think deep down he's jealous you're spending time doing this instead of spending time with him? (whereas you could argue that perfume is something to make you more attractive to him?)
It just seems such a ridiculous, harmless thing for him to be so mean about. Such an unkind thing to say about something so innocuous that it makes me wonder what's behind it. I would call him out on this and I wouldn't let this go.

pregantandengaged · 21/12/2019 21:38

Frigging love the sims and I'm 34! Expansion packs are half price and I'm gutted I lost a gift card a friend bought me for my birthday 😭.

I bet he plays call of duty or something similar, games on his phone. loads of men own a PS4 etc. Your husband is definitely being a bell end over this one.

MadameJosephine · 21/12/2019 21:39

Buy it and wrap it up to give to him for his Christmas present, that’ll teach him

Rumnraisin · 21/12/2019 21:40

How mature your DH must be! My Mum is in her 70s and loves gaming - she could also write a thesis on one I’m sure (getting defensive for my Mum now!).
Your DH is arrogant and condescending.

Gormless · 21/12/2019 21:40

Totally get why you feel hurt and why you love that particular game. I adore it too: it’s not just like any computer game because it allows you to be really creative. It’s an extremely healthy outlet. Keep playing!

YorkshirePud1 · 21/12/2019 21:41

I'm 37 and love the sims - my husband doesn't get it, but would never make me feel ridiculous for playing it, that's not on. Don't let him make you feel crappy for enjoying it - it doesn't matter whether it's a game or any other hobby, he shouldn't mock you for something you enjoy doing. If it's not too late tell him you've changed your mind - it's what you want and that's that.

XmasRibbons · 21/12/2019 21:42

I have played Sims since I was about 8 because it makes me feel like an architect/interior designer. As pathetic as that may seem everyone has their quicks and hobbies. He is BU if it is not affecting your family life, what is the issue?

He seems almost resentful...