To wish husband wasn't nasty about chosen Christmas gift?

[gitehn]

I love a video game where you create characters and control their lives, building their houses and choosing their relationships etc. I'm sure it's obvious what game it is but won't say the name so that I'm not accused of being an advertisement. It is not directly a children's game (though in the right settings children can play it and I let my DC play it sometimes, but you can get modifications to it which make it a bit more adult. Not in a sexual way, just have more interesting scenarios happen etc). My current family in the game is like a soap opera.

I love the game because I'm a very creative person and like using it to create stories. I usually like making dramatic scenarios, affairs, rivalries etc. It is my escapism. While some people like to sit and watch telly with a glass of wine while the DC are in bed (as well as the DH sometimes!) I like to have a glass of wine and play this game for an hour or so.

I have all Christmas presents for DC and family/friends bought and got DH something he wanted (we share an income so it's more just a sentimental thing) and I asked him to get me the newest expansion pack for the game. He laughed at me and said I'm ridiculous, that I'm too old for video games and I should get a life. He also enquired why I couldn't ask for perfume or something like that.

Maybe I am being hormonal (TOTM) but for some reason it's upsetting me. I have a degree, a full time job, a social life and DC. I am by no means addicted to it and I feel it is no different to people winding down in the evening by watching trash on TV. Yet nobody gets made fun of for that. I will literally just play it for a little while with a drink after the DC have gone to sleep, then will come up to bed. I don't even play it every night but it is something I enjoy (and from what I've seen online, it is actually quite a popular hobby among people my age with kids...). He has made me feel like an idiot and I now feel under pressure to stop playing it. I've asked for something else now as I hate the idea of him rolling his eyes and chuckling to himself while buying it.

Could it be that when you play video games you are concentrating on only that and there is no chat or connection with your partner.

Know a lot of women who have dumped bfs because the video games got in the way of any discussions or general chitchat

In the end they got bored waiting to talk to their partners and dumped them for somebody who had time to talk to them.

Watching tv together doesn’t involve the concentration and you can chat together about general stuff or the actual programme

Do you ever just watch tv or chat with your dh of an evening or do you have to go on the video game every single night.

This has nothing to do with the fact you are a woman and everything to do with ignoring your partner.

I hate computer games with a passion, but I think your husband is being ridiculous. My husband has a ps4. I have got him a game voucher for Christmas

I get Sims expansion packs for gifts quite often. He's being an idiot and a dinosaur if he thinks adults don't play games.

Just say "OK Boomer" and buy it for yourself.

"Op is an ADULT! I am sure she knows how long she plays for, and if her dh (another ADULT) has an issue with it, then he should say something."

"If OPs kids go to bed at 7 and she goes to bed at 11 (made up times) that’s 4 hours of free time- why does all of that have to be between op and her husband without him getting offended? It’s controlling."

Fair enough. But if kids go to bed at 8:30 and dp goes to bed at 10 and 60-90 mins are spent gaming (made up times) then that does put a different spin on things IMO.

There's nothing wrong with offering a different perspective.

Could it be that when you play video games you are concentrating on only that and there is no chat or connection with your partner.

Agree. DH games when I'm in bed and only about once a week so I don't mind, but I would mind if he did that instead of spending time together.

That's incredibly sad.

The problem is not you and it's not the game. It's him.

What he said was mean-spirited.

Tell him you've changed your mind and you would appreciate the expansion pack after all. It's his chance to apologise.

Could it be that when you play video games you are concentrating on only that and there is no chat or connection with your partner.

Remarks like the one he made are unlikely to make her want to spend time with him. There's nothing quite as endearing as an unkind put down.

Some people recharge when they spend time on their own. Introverts can become quite depleted of energy and ragged around the edges if they have to spend days on end dealing with other people, with no time when they can just shut the world away.

Come on, I love Lego, my husband always buys me the latest Christmas creator sets, lol.
Your husband is being stupid, just buy it yourself.

Your DH is being a twat. I don't think a Christmas has ever passed in the 15 my DH and I have been together where I've not bought him a game or two.

And a good few of them he's gotten me games. I'm hoping for Planet Zoo this year.

And I've gotten him a Switch. After 2 years of thinking about it and then regretting not doing it I've finally gone for it. Got him Luigi's Mansion, Odyssey and Mario Kart. So perfect as a gift for DC too. And means I can play the new Animal Crossing once it's out. Which is my favourite game series of all time.

Although The Sims is up there for me. Definitely buy yourself the expansion xx

mathanxiety

But op by the sounds of it doesn’t spend anytime with her dh she sits there playing her game every evening

Yes I would feel really pissed off if Dp spent every evening till bedtime sitting next to me playing video games and would probably answer the same as her dh if he then asked me for something to do with the game.

@Oliversmumsarmy

You and I are reading different threads then.

She clearly says it's for a little while. And not every night.

Do you and your DH just sit and stare at each other every night?

My DH plays a game for a bit most nights. Guess what. He can still talk while doing it. I sit and chat with him while he plays. Often I'm either playing something too or on my phone.

And Sims is definitely in the category of being able to talk while playing.

So piss off with your assumptions about what a terrible wife OP is. Women gamers really get it rough.

I'm a bit envious of DH and DS who both game quite a bit. If love to but any time I've tried to use the console controllers I just can't work them out and end up so frustrated it isn't fun. I can't even make the characters move in the direction they are supposed to an I have tried multiple times over the years

DH being in his 50s and having played cputer games since the 80s is happier.playing PC based games using keyboard controls but he seems to have mastered he basics of the console controller.
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I am the odd one out in my house. A lot.off games look like fun and I wish I had the patience to learn the skills to get to the fun bit but I find it too frustrating

I used to play tomb raider and house of the dead quite a bit when the first PlayStation came out.

And hayday a few years ago. There was quite a few posters on here that played it

He sounds like an arse

I've asked for this expansion pack too, I'd be very upset if DH spoke to me like that.

I've found my people!

I love gaming. I have played the Sims since it came out, don't play it now as my computer won't run it and the console versions are rubbish. Someone else mentioned baldurs gate. I lost hours and hours to that and it's expansions and the sequel. Age of empires, lords of the realm, Tetris, Mario, sonic, Zelda, ecco the dolphin, assassins creed, zoo tycoon, the Lego series. The Witcher 3. Hundreds more but each game means a lot to me. My dh bought assassins creed origins for me when my Grandad passed away and it helped me to process my grief over time rather than all at once because it was a vital piece of escapism and let me think about something else. Plus it is a beautiful game with lots of historical accuracy.

Loads of games use logic, creativity, problem solving, hand eye coordination and other skills. Lots of games allow you to work collaboratively with other people (overcooked on the ps4 for example! Even fortnite which I'm not a fan of) Therefore building cooperation and team building skills. Even basic money/resource management on games like the Sims/aoe. Do you get any of that watching top gear or Hollyoaks? I really don't get why some people are so dismissive of gaming.

I used to be obsessed with the Sims when I was younger. My daughter got a laptop last year and we got the Sims 3 but we don't really play it much as it doesn't always run well. I've got her an Xbox for Christmas and amongst the games she asked for is Sims 4 and Zoo Tycoon. I am so excited to get home on Christmas night and sit and play them both with her as Zoo Tycoon has been mentioned here a few times now . Is Sims 4 good on the Xbox? I remember years ago when the Sims 2 was just released on console it was dire so am hoping it's better now!

I hope you get your expansion pack and enjoy it!!

@bumblingbovine49 me too! I cannot get the hang of the controls for console gaming at all. We have those wheel add-ons for Mario Kart on the Wii and even then I oversteer horribly. I'd love to play Red Dead Redemption because those games look great, but I don't think I'd manage it.

First person shooters are not my thing, but I like games where you wander through the world doing your own thing, or you play a story. I loved Witcher 3, The Wolf Among Us, Firewatch and Stardew Valley.

DH built me a PC a few years ago with really great parts for about £600 and that's what I use. I also use it for life admin like taxes and bills and letters, so that is its main function.

MaryPopppins

What gitehn said was she played the game for

A while

Then an hour or so

Then still playing after her dh has gone to bed

FWIW Dp and I talk.

Do you think without a video game then people just stare at each other with no conversation.

Just waiting for the first LTB !.

If that's what you want and that's what you enjoy then that'd what you should get. Shame on your DH for mocking.

I don't 'get' these fantasy world type games but I like online Scrabble and DH likes Rome Total War occasionally so can't judge.

What I would say is that DH can get very sucked in and unaware of the rest of the world (and can be there for a couple of hours)! I don't mind because he only plays every couple of months. Every night and I might get twitchy.

I'm 64 and a gamer and if somebody told me I was being ridiculous or too old they would be sent away with a flea in their ear!

Don't know why your DH is being like this?? Does it matter what game you play? Treat yourself & buy it for yourself

@bumblingbovine49 The Sims is best played on PC so you don't need a controller for it. It's a great game, I'd definitely recommend if you want to try something that doesn't require a lot of co-ordination with a controller. Just some mouse pointing and clicking.

I am a gamer, always have been. So is DH but we play very different games (I play the Sims, Pokemon etc, he plays FIFA and racing games). Your DH is being an arse OP! Nothing wrong with adult gamers. There are an awful, awful lot of us out there!

I am the odd one out in my house. A lot.off games look like fun and I wish I had the patience to learn the skills to get to the fun bit but I find it too frustrating

What about vr? The Oculus Quest looks like fun.

I love that game too - been playing on and off over the years since I was 12! My OH plays the PlayStation and so do I so is more accepting. I guess your OH doesn't play any sort of video games? He's been silly - lots of adults play that game it's no different to playing call of duty or fifa which lots of dads do!x