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Original poster

To wish husband wasn't nasty about chosen Christmas gift?

205 replies

gitehn · 21/12/2019 21:17

I love a video game where you create characters and control their lives, building their houses and choosing their relationships etc. I'm sure it's obvious what game it is but won't say the name so that I'm not accused of being an advertisement. It is not directly a children's game (though in the right settings children can play it and I let my DC play it sometimes, but you can get modifications to it which make it a bit more adult. Not in a sexual way, just have more interesting scenarios happen etc). My current family in the game is like a soap opera.

I love the game because I'm a very creative person and like using it to create stories. I usually like making dramatic scenarios, affairs, rivalries etc. It is my escapism. While some people like to sit and watch telly with a glass of wine while the DC are in bed (as well as the DH sometimes!) I like to have a glass of wine and play this game for an hour or so.

I have all Christmas presents for DC and family/friends bought and got DH something he wanted (we share an income so it's more just a sentimental thing) and I asked him to get me the newest expansion pack for the game. He laughed at me and said I'm ridiculous, that I'm too old for video games and I should get a life. He also enquired why I couldn't ask for perfume or something like that.

Maybe I am being hormonal (TOTM) but for some reason it's upsetting me. I have a degree, a full time job, a social life and DC. I am by no means addicted to it and I feel it is no different to people winding down in the evening by watching trash on TV. Yet nobody gets made fun of for that. I will literally just play it for a little while with a drink after the DC have gone to sleep, then will come up to bed. I don't even play it every night but it is something I enjoy (and from what I've seen online, it is actually quite a popular hobby among people my age with kids...). He has made me feel like an idiot and I now feel under pressure to stop playing it. I've asked for something else now as I hate the idea of him rolling his eyes and chuckling to himself while buying it.

OP posts:
WireBrushAndDettolMaam · 21/12/2019 23:09

He laughed at me and said I'm ridiculous, that I'm too old for video games and I should get a life. He also enquired why I couldn't ask for perfume or something like that.

What you experienced here is his contempt for being vocalised.

Instagrump · 21/12/2019 23:11

There's nothing wrong with being a gamer even as an adult. My DH is playing Call of Duty right now. I much prefer a bloke who likes a bit of Black Ops with his BIL online to getting pissed at the pub.

Buy yourself the expansion pack. In fact, buy a couple cos you'll be well aware that they're a bloody bargain today. 50% to 75% off! Go for it.

I'd take "Discover University" over a bottle of perfume any day.

MilesToGoBeforeISleep · 21/12/2019 23:15

It drives me mad that it is apparently socially acceptable to watch, say, Love Island or similar shit, but socially unacceptable to play a game which could make you think, plan, create, explore... Especially if you are a woman! I love the fact my DH and I have gaming nights.

Used to love Sims until I had kids, then I realised I was tidying up two houses in one day, one real and one virtual... Discovered Stardew instead 😁

Yestermost · 21/12/2019 23:18

Tell your DH he is lucky not to be married to me. I am (fingers crossed) getting a jigsaw for Xmas.Grin

ACautionaryTale · 21/12/2019 23:19

I play RPGs

I play Baldurs Gate, Planescape Torment, Icewind Dale

I refuse to play WOW (world of warcraft) as I know I'd be obsessed

I have a DH who just DOES NOT GET IT - its how I chill for an hour or two a night.

My job normally takes me away mon-fri so I indulge in hotels when I've nothing else to do

I'm on a local job for the next six months - this is going to be fun. Its something I do for an hour or so - and. I'll be home by 7pm each night.

I sense Trouble Ahead

MurderOfGoths · 21/12/2019 23:19

Nothing wrong with gaming, people moaning about other people hobbies on the other hand.. He's being a dick.

Instagrump · 21/12/2019 23:26

MIL had a pop at DH and I because we like to game. This coming from a woman who will never ever miss a single episode of Neighbours, Home & Away, Coronation street, Emmerdale or Eastenders. And I reminded her so. If it was so childish to play a game then her religiously watching pretend families going about their daily lives was just as ridiculous.

Cloudyyy · 21/12/2019 23:29

Did you play games when you met him? As you say though, he played them himself so it is perhaps quite odd that he minds you playing. I’m not really sure why, but I find the idea of my husband playing video games deeply unattractive!! It just seems so juvenile and dull as an activity - just my opinion. Mine hasn’t ever been into them and if he had played them when I met him it would’ve put me right off him.

Purpleartichoke · 21/12/2019 23:34

I’d buy it for yourself. He is being a jerk.

My DH is getting me legos and funko pops for Christmas. I’m 45 years old. Both will bring me joy.

NearlyGranny · 21/12/2019 23:34

What were you originally planning to give him, OP? Can you return it and get your money back?

He clearly really needs a traditional masculine present like pongy aftershave and socks that leave a mark on his shins rather than what he actually asked for, doesn't he?

gamerchick · 21/12/2019 23:35

Well, it's a good job he doesn't then eh Cloudyyy Hmm talk about missing the point.

SlightlyStaleCocoPops · 21/12/2019 23:41

"It just seems so juvenile and dull as an activity - just my opinion."

Surprised it took 4 pages for that kind of comment to appear.

Probably because we're talking about a woman rather than a man.

sam221 · 21/12/2019 23:42

I have friend who is a surgeon and plays Candy Crush, don't let your husband make you feel bad about the things you like!

Jellybeansincognito · 21/12/2019 23:44

He’s a twat.

Would he be saying the same if you’re a 40 year old male wanting the latest expansion for call of duty? ffs.

TheHeathenOfSuburbia · 21/12/2019 23:47

milestogo yeah I gave up the Sims for the same reason.
Hang on, I'm spending my leisure time trying to get kids to go to school on time, do their homework, and not block the fucking toilet?! Xmas Grin

OP, rise above your husband's mockery, just raise an eyebrow and repeat that you want X expansion pack for Xmas. He knows he's in the wrong, he's just jealous Wink

MissPepper8 · 21/12/2019 23:49

Ah no he's a dick sorry op.. We're a big gaming household, DH is 37 plays computer games since he was 16!

I play games (not so much as I use to, pregnant and tired) but he's bought me a switch which I've got loads of games on (buying me links adventure for Christmas). He's even got me a gaming laptop which I have a steam account full of games.

There's nothing wrong with playing the Sims or anything else, at any age! Christ my DF is 54 and plays games in his spare time.

Ask him for the money for a gift and buy it yourself x

StinkyXmasCheese · 21/12/2019 23:55

What a dick, I'm mid 30's and I love playing the sims!

NCasIknowMNetters · 22/12/2019 00:02

I'm an AoE, Settlers kind of world builder (also SimCity and Sims but not as obsessively). I play an online version of a game most evenings and DH has joined me (also a AoE fan)

Our Xmas 'gift' to each other was £40 in game spend. These games have kept me sane through long evenings with tiny babies etc. The game we play has in game 'chat' and DH works away a lot. Sometimes it's how we keep in touch, a fleeting written conversation in the 'whisper' option.

We're nearly 50 now. I think it's too late to grow up now.

Spartonian · 22/12/2019 00:04

I must start playing sims again, I really miss it after reading this thread. I only have an Xbox 360 can you even play it on that?

JacquettaW · 22/12/2019 00:05

I'm 34 and playing Sims 3 right now. I love it and am currently on 4th generation of my not so little family.

Your husband is being an arse, buy the EP for yourself and ignore him

PhilipJennings · 22/12/2019 00:33

I’ve been playing Sims 4 this week. I have to admit I hated it after Sims 3, but I think I’m getting used to it now.

I’ve just watched the first episode of the Witcher on Netflix tonight and am wondering if I should go back and play all of those from the beginning...if I will ever have time to. DS stays up later and is often on my PC playing Roblox now so I don’t really have it to myself!

I qui playing WoW over a decade ago but I still miss Orgrimmar as if it was somewhere I used to live, I almost have more nostalgia for that then I do for my years at uni (it feels the same)!

OP, you’re not alone and it was a mean spirited thing for your DH to say. I’m a lawyer and have two small children, so it’s not like I can’t manage adult life, either!

gluteustothemaximus · 22/12/2019 00:39

I play a my little pony game OP Grin

DH doesn't play games, but he wouldn’t piss take that I do.

As long as gaming doesn't become addictive or interfere with life, where's the harm, for anyone, to relax as they see fit.

You don't have to justify your gaming either, with a degree or having a top job. If you enjoy a game...that's all there is to it.

Get yourself the extension pack x

LilQueenie · 22/12/2019 00:42

He is an arse. You are never too old for video games.

turkeyontheplate · 22/12/2019 00:45

I'm a Wizards Unite addict. I've lost 5 stone playing it, it involves a LOT of walking Grin

Your DH is a pompous arsebiscuit. Is he usually like this? Does he have a solid gold cock redeeming features? I couldn't put up with a partner who jeered at my interests, personally.

TheFestiveIf · 22/12/2019 00:45

You sound quite defensive in your OP. No need. You're entitled to enjoy yourself however you wish, as is anyone, when it's not having a detrimental effect on anyone else.

It does make me wonder, though, was your DH laughing in a fond, teasing way rather than an unkind way and it has just touched a nerve because you already felt like you needed to justify yourself? Either way, I hope you change your mind and ask for the expansion pack again. If you need to get a life then so do I with some of my hobbies so let's own it.

Of course, if your DP really is being a prick then rather than getting him what he wants, just give him some pre-loved hankies for Christmas.