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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Who was unreasonable here?

268 replies

Funkyslippers · 19/12/2019 08:57

Last night, all of us in car, me driving, we're playing DD1's (16) Queen CD (she's slightly obsessed).

DD1: Oh I love the words to this song, can we all just listen to the words?
OH: (definitely heard what she said) - starts talking to DD2
DD1: I really want everyone to hear this song
OH: (Carries on where he left off with what he's saying)
DD1: (shouts): YOU'RE SO SELFISH! I ASKED YOU TO LISTEN TO THIS SONG AND YOU DELIBERATELY TALK OVER IT!!!
OH: Don't you speak to me like that etc etc....

Everyone stressed. Me upset because this sort of thing happens on a daily basis between DD1 & OH, DD2 & OH or DD1 & DD2!!!

OP posts:
Star81 · 19/12/2019 09:00

To be honest if your wanting to hear song lyrics then it’s maybe best to do it on your own as seems a bit unreasonable to expect a car load of people to sit in silence to please you.

Shoxfordian · 19/12/2019 09:02

She's being unreasonable expecting everyone to be quiet to listen to a song, maybe buy her some headphones for Christmas

RhymingRabbit3 · 19/12/2019 09:05

DD is unreasonable. She can't ask everyone to sit in silence to listen to her music - she can listen to it again any time and "listen to the words" then.

Teachermaths · 19/12/2019 09:05

She is. Listen in your own time.

Howlovely · 19/12/2019 09:05

I think your husband may have been being a little bit antagonistic but I also think it's rather childish and spoiled of a 16 year old to try to demand everyone listens to the words of a song, especially when it's quite likely you and your husband have heard it a hundred times already.

MrsBungle · 19/12/2019 09:07

Dd is unreasonable.

NomNomNomNom · 19/12/2019 09:07

Oh should have been polite about it but it's fair enough that everyone didn't want to sit in silence and listen to dd's song. Oh should have been adult about it and explained to dd1 that he wanted to chat on the car not listen silently to the song.

HeddaGarbled · 19/12/2019 09:07

I’m with your H on this one. People who want you to sit in silence to listen to their choice of music should definitely not be encouraged! “I really want everyone to hear this song” 🤣

HanginWithMyGnomies · 19/12/2019 09:07

I agree DD is unreasonable to expect that, but OH shouldn’t just ignore her and start talking to DD2. He could at least say to her that the whole car doesn’t want to do that, ignoring her like that is just rude.

Justmuddlingalong · 19/12/2019 09:08

Your DD was unreasonable, selfish and cheeky.

WaterSheep · 19/12/2019 09:09

Your OH was already midway through a conversation. Your DD is being unreasonable to want everyone to sit in silence, so she can listen to the words of a song which she already knows.

Betterbegoing · 19/12/2019 09:09

DD1 was being ridiculous but someone should’ve maybe said that (in more gentle terms) rather than just ignoring her. Her reaction was not good tho.

ANutAsBigAsABoulder · 19/12/2019 09:10

It would have been polite to acknowledge what she was asking and suggest that she listen to it herself at home. Both were being unreasonable in their own way: DD for expecting everyone to be quiet, it’s not like listening to the song is a one-off opportunity, and DH for seemingly being deliberately antagonistic.

teentree · 19/12/2019 09:12

You have to ask?

Your 16 yo was being ridiculous.

Batqueen · 19/12/2019 09:12

She’s unreasonable to demand it but he’s rude to just ignore her. I think telling her that that wasn’t going to happen and why would be a better response.

LunasOrchid · 19/12/2019 09:13

Your DD is being unreasonable.

She can't demand what people do. She can't demand for people to stop chatting and she can't demand that people listen to the lyrics. Not everyone likes Queen!

If your DD want's to enjoy her music in peace, she should wear earphones.

Halo1234 · 19/12/2019 09:13

Both being unreasonable. Dh rude to not acknowledge she spoke and asked a question. And dd for losing her temper shouting and expecting silence to hear her song. But your dh is the adult and could have defused the situation. She is a teenager I would make more allowance for her. Tbh i prob would have let her hear the song. It's only a few mins and it's not hard to do. But she shouldn't have spoke to him like that but he shouldn't have ignored her. It's not nice to feel ignored.

T0tallyFuckedUpFamily · 19/12/2019 09:14

On the face of it, she would appear to be ridiculously unreasonable, however, if everyone had been quiet up until that point and you feel that your husband/partner deliberately started a conversation to prove some stupid point, then he’s a dick.

SallyWD · 19/12/2019 09:14

When I was a teenager I had to listen to my music on my Walkman. There's no way my parents would have my music blaring out in the car and sit in silence while I listened to it!

EggysMom · 19/12/2019 09:15

Which song was it? Grin

We Are The Champions - DD unreasonable.
Who Wants To Live Forever - DH unreasonable.

maddening · 19/12/2019 09:18

I think she wanted you to listen to the song more than just wanting to hear it herself, wanting you to all "get it" as much as she does.

However dd wbu imo

StoneColdSaidSo · 19/12/2019 09:19

You dd was being unreasonable to expect everyone to be quiet and listen to her song, especially if she interrupted a conversation your dh was already having.

HowlsMovingBungalow · 19/12/2019 09:19

Standard teenage drama.

QueenoftheBiscuitTin · 19/12/2019 09:22

Both. DH should have acknowledged what DD1 said, but DD1 was also being cheeky expecting everyone to sit in silence.

chillykiwi · 19/12/2019 09:23

Personally I think talking over a Queen song should be a hanging offence but as the rest of society doesn't agree with me I have to concede that your DD was being unreasonable.