To think three is too young for hot food?

[thefluffysideofgrey]

As in very hot, straight out of the oven, will burn you if you touch or bite it hot?

My DH is adamant that our son needs to learn how to deal with it. This has resulted in screams and food being thrown across the room. I don't blame him.

Am I being precious?

[MontStMichel]

I always take the food for DGD out a few minutes before ours, so it has time to cool down. She is 20 months, and does understand “hot” (her parents have taught this in relation to being careful not to touch mugs with hot drinks in), so she will be careful about putting hot food in her mouth. Having said that, I cooked her prawn fried rice one day, and she asked for more prawns. I had to give her some from the fridge - she asked for them to be hot!

[Lizzie0869]

Some posters are desperately trying to minimise what's going on. I think if it was anything normal like the OP's DH simply teaching their DS to deal with hot food, the OP wouldn't have been concerned about it and certainly wouldn't have posted about it.

I always warned my DDs if something might be too hot and reminded them to blow on it.

This shouldn't be an issue. If the DS is screaming because it hurts with being too hot, then there's something very wrong going on.

[FloppyBiffAndChip]

This is a weird thread.

It's not Al to serve a 3 year old hit food, sitting with them and saying 'careful, your fish fingers are hot - eat your cucumber first while they cool down' and if they pick up fork with said food 'ooh, remember hats hot! Let's blow onnit a few times before you out it in your mouth' - all the time checking your child doesn't actually put any very hot food in their mouth.

It is NOT normal to serve a 3 year old very hot food and stand by while they put it piping hot into their mouth, burn their mouth, scream and cry.

The former is normal parenting

The latter is most definitely abusive and shocking parenting.

I do hope you partner is doing the former. If it's the latter I would not want to be with a man like that and would not let him do what he is doing to my child

[FloppyBiffAndChip]

Not no Al - normal (sorry typo)

[messolini9]

messolini we don't even know what the DH has or hasn't done though do we?

No we didn't @Bollykecks - hence my making a tongue in cheek suggestion, based on the obvious inference from OP's initial post that DH would rather see his kid learn from being burned that - ya know - be arsed to TEACH him about how not to get burned.
The word "adamant" was also a giant clue here.

My inference has now been confirmed btw -

Anyway, he threw the food because it hurt.

[JinglingHellsBells]

Is this for real?

Surely in a normal family, one parent or both would tell a child that the food was very hot and to take care?

I'd also think that most 3 year olds would learn from experience and learn to taste their food carefully even if a parent had not warned them.

I mean how many burnt mouths does it take before they understand?

[JinglingHellsBells]

Hmmm not convinced you are really being honest with us @thefluffysideofgrey

All very odd.

[Streamside]

He's a tiny child who deserves to be safeguarded by his parents, that includes calling the other parent out for unreasonable, dangerous behaviour.

[Jenpop234]

By the time I've served everyone's food up and cut my son's food, got him in the high chair etc. it's not that hot anymore. If it is a bit hot he blows on it. So if this is what they mean by deal with it then YABU. Have to learn to blow on their food at some point. My son is 18months old and has no problem.

[thefluffysideofgrey]

@JinglingHellsBells

Do you live in a world where people make up stuff like this?

[NaviSprite]

Bloody hell, hot food straight from the oven? YANBU at all, I give my DC slightly warmer food now they're two to start teaching them the difference but piping hot food, definitely not, I don't even eat food as it comes out the oven :/ your DH is definitely BU.

[bobstersmum]

Does he throw it onto a plate and run to the dining table to give it to the 3 year old? Because otherwise by the time you have plated food up and then taken it to the table it's usually not scarily hot anymore. My youngest is 2 and knows to blow food, but I do make sure it's not dangerously hot anyway.

[JinglingHellsBells]

Do you live in a world where people make up stuff like this?

@thefluffysideofgrey No- do you?

[ToTheRegimentIWishIWasThere]

Does he throw it onto a plate and run to the dining table to give it to the 3 year old? Because otherwise by the time you have plated food up and then taken it to the table it's usually not scarily hot anymore. My youngest is 2 and knows to blow food, but I do make sure it's not dangerously hot anyway

I dunno, I just handed my DH a plate of food from the oven, probably out five or so minutes and he went "fuck me, I've just burnt my mouth on that!" And he's 41. I didn't tell him to blow on it though, that was probably my mistake.

[geojojo]

To be honest I do give my 3 year old food straight away but I will warn him it's hot and he is naturally a VERY cautious child so will blow on it, lick it, wave it around etc and I will have to remind him to actually eat it!

[Hugtheduggee]

It's obvious here that the op means her toddlers food is played up the same time as theirs, and she wants to let it cool for a few minutes. So it's not some kind of race from the oven, or pouring boiling treacle down his throat.

Given the ops lack of dialogue on this, when asked what they mean, I assume I'm right, because if he was literally force feeding boiling food, then she'd have said, rather than just ignoring the question.

So to answer the question, whether it's ok for a toddlers food to be served at the same temperature as an adult, I think generally that's fine, with warnings if bits are extra hot. Things that stay boiling for ages like lasagne I'd cool, but otherwise I am content to just say to blow on it etc.