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AIBU?

To think three is too young for hot food?

191 replies

thefluffysideofgrey · 17/12/2019 06:49

As in very hot, straight out of the oven, will burn you if you touch or bite it hot?

My DH is adamant that our son needs to learn how to deal with it. This has resulted in screams and food being thrown across the room. I don't blame him.

Am I being precious?

OP posts:

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SunshineCake · 17/12/2019 14:07

It's really not rocket science. If he can't blow or wait, which is normal given he is three, then don't give him his plate until it has cooled.

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hsegfiugseskufh · 17/12/2019 14:09

I do think that giving a small child piping hot food and then not supervising or directing them and allowing them to burn their mouth is abusive behaviour. You said you don't do this. You are not abusive

I know i'm not. We don't know what the DH is doing because the OP wont tell us.

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pigsDOfly · 17/12/2019 14:13

Why is it necessary to put oven hot food in front of a child, and what exactly are they supposed to be learning from the potential of a burnt mouth?

At 3 years old the food can sit for a few minutes before it's given to them so that it won't burn their mouths. It can still be blown on, if that's what you want them to do, to show them that food can be hot. It doesn't actually have to be hot enough to burn them for them to blow on it.

I never put oven hot food in front of my children. Funnily enough they never burned their mouths but managed to learn that food can be hot.

Do children really need to learn to blow on food? If they do hopefully, by the time they're adults and eating with other adults they'll have learned that blowing on your food prior to eating it is really bad manners.

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goodluckdontdie · 17/12/2019 14:15

you teach them. easy. just takes some time, and effort from the parent

Yeah, but being a responsible parent is about recognising the BEST time to teach your kids certain skills. Why doesn't your 2-year-old use the sharp knives? You just teach him/her, surely? It's easy, right?

That's my point. If a kid's not ready to learn at 2, or 3,4,5,6,7 or 8, that's ok. Just teach them at 9. Or 10. A year or two isn't gonna make a difference. I don't know any 15-year-olds who can't safely use a sharp knife.

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ToTheRegimentIWishIWasThere · 17/12/2019 14:17

You are giving more information than the OP is Bollykecks . You've said you don't let your child burn his mouth. Going off the OP and only the OP, the OPs DH is abusive. (How many times can I say OP in a sentence )

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hsegfiugseskufh · 17/12/2019 14:25

totheregiment based on the OP and only the OP there is no way you could categorically say the DH is abusive! It doesn't mention if the child is being burnt, force fed, taught nicely. It gives barely any info at all, let alone anything that confirms the DH is abusive.

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ASmallMovie · 17/12/2019 14:29

This is truly bewildering.

I get that kids have to learn to deal with a lot of things in life - how to cross the road, how to navigate tricky friendships, how to brush their own teeth and hair, how to manage money, how to use a knife and fork etc etc etc etc. But never in the life of me have I heard that children NEED TO LEARN how to deal with eating hot food straight from the oven. WTF happens if they never learn this vital life lesson?!?

Truly mind-boggling.

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myself2020 · 17/12/2019 14:29

@goodluckdontdie my 2 year old is using a regular table knife. once his hands are big enough to control them, he’ll use kitchen knifes as well. currently his hands are too small to hold vegetables safely.
its a lot easier to create habits from the start than to change them, so teaching a child early to be careful with hot food makes life easier.
(there are plenty of adults who can’t handle knifes properly- again, its something best taught early)

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GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 17/12/2019 14:30

My DH is adamant that our son needs to learn how to deal with it

What, by BURNING himself?

Jesus Christ, how's he planning on teaching him to ride a bike and deal with traffic?

Just shocking.

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Lizzie0869 · 17/12/2019 14:44

That's just horrible and sadistic, as is clear from the OP saying that her DS screams and the food ends up thrown across the room. You shouldn't need to ask whether this is wrong, of course it is. You shouldn't let your DH abuse him in this way.

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Rachelfromfriends1 · 17/12/2019 14:45

Surely this is abuse if the child is screaming in pain due to their mouth being burned by scalding hot food.

Obviously your child can’t handle it just yet so to continue doing this is sadistic

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lily2403 · 17/12/2019 14:45

We always cool our 3 year olds food, far to young to "deal" with that

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Rachelfromfriends1 · 17/12/2019 14:45

Most adults don’t even eat food straight from the oven, you’re supposed to let it stand for a moment.

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BernardsarenotalwaysSaints · 17/12/2019 14:50

YANBU & your Dh is an idiot.

I plate food in reverse age order. I’m feeding either all 7 of us or just the 5dc at a time. My 2yo knows how to blow on food but it doesn’t mean he can have it straight from the oven. Perfectly possible to teach them without letting them get on with it & burn themselves in the process.

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morriseysquif · 17/12/2019 14:55

Make some boiling hot soup and force feed him it. He is an idiot.

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MamaDane · 17/12/2019 14:58

I think your DH is just trying to teach your son impulse control. 🤔 Obviously it's not good if he burns his mouth but don't most children this age know to wait a bit? Not sure if YABU or if he is

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PlasticPatty · 17/12/2019 14:59

@Rachaelfromfriends1 - I agree.

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hsegfiugseskufh · 17/12/2019 14:59

Surely this is abuse if the child is screaming in pain due to their mouth being burned by scalding hot food

except that we have no idea if that is whats happening?

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Pfefferkuchen · 17/12/2019 15:11

still not update from the OP to clarify, but let's not have facts get in the way of a good story about an abusive father shall we

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messolini9 · 17/12/2019 15:14

messolini ah yes because that's exactly the same isn't it

Not exactly, no @Bollykecks.
Because I 'scaled up' DH's proposed learning experience to allow for his senior experience & understanding, so that he can benefit from receiving a similar level of shock in 'learning to deal' with hot things.

If his child is screaming & throwing food around in distress, & all DH can do is prate that the child needs to 'learn how to deal with it' but is clearly not supplying that learning experience by teaching his son this skill properly himself (or this thread would not have been posted, as the child would have received teaching, & the OP would not feel conflicted) - then yeah, I feel perfectly justified to make a tongue in cheek remark about what type of 'teaching moment' might similarly surprise, dismay & hurt DH.

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Swatsup · 17/12/2019 15:16

I’m nearly 40 and moan if my husband does this without warning me it’s hot 😝

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hsegfiugseskufh · 17/12/2019 15:20

messolini we don't even know what the DH has or hasn't done though do we?

there may be no "level of shock" at all...

we don't know whether the child is "screaming and throwing food around in distress" or whether its a typical 3yo having a tantrum, do we?

OP might feel conflicted because its easier for her to let her childs food cool, as opposed to teaching him. She said herself he's tired. Tired 3yos are usually unruly and a PITA to reason with.

We have no idea that the DH is hoping the child will get burnt FFS, its all just a story that's been fabricated by posters on this thread because of a very vague OP.

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thefluffysideofgrey · 17/12/2019 15:26

Well that escalated...

Anyway, he threw the food because it hurt.

Sorry, quite busy.

OP posts:

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Deadjinglebellringer · 17/12/2019 15:39

Where do people find these men, who are not only dickheads but know it all dickheads. who actually know fuck all

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LemonPrism · 17/12/2019 16:22

He'll just get freaked out by food and stop eating it. Stop purposefully burning your kid. He'll learn when he's older like we all do - or does your DH know adults who contstantly shove burning food in their mouths?

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