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AIBU?

To think three is too young for hot food?

191 replies

thefluffysideofgrey · 17/12/2019 06:49

As in very hot, straight out of the oven, will burn you if you touch or bite it hot?

My DH is adamant that our son needs to learn how to deal with it. This has resulted in screams and food being thrown across the room. I don't blame him.

Am I being precious?

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WeeDangerousSpike · 17/12/2019 08:02

He's a fucking knob op. And a sadistic one at that.

I've a 3yo. Yes, her food is warmer than when she was tiny, and yes she needs to get used to food being hot. But the way to do that is not to bring her tepid mush one day and volcanic lasagna the next. Jesus christ.

I plate up DDs food first, onto a cold plate, cut it up and leave it while I plate up ours. Then I check it againt my lip, if it burns me, it will burn her!

It feels hot when I give it to her, I'm not saying I check it to be like baby food, but it's a conscious decision I make to make it a little warmer every so often, so it's a gradual transition.

Why the fuck would you be with someone who intentionally hurts your child?!

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Yestermost · 17/12/2019 08:03

Surely at 3 years old you warn them it might be hot and they will blow on it. Unless it's something like Apple pie that can be really hot.
If your DH is deliberately not warning them then he is a twat but a 3 year old can be warned. It's a bit cotton wool wrapping to never let them near hot food. They need to be exposed to stuff that makes them stop and think about risk.Otherwise they will end up like the teens I've met who can't use a sharp knife to cut vegetables etc

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Letsallscreamatthesistene · 17/12/2019 08:05

Surely nobody should be eating food thats straight out the oven, burn your mouth hot?!

But if you mean a normal meal at a normal hot meal temperature then hes being unreasonable

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MonChatEstMagnifique · 17/12/2019 08:19

He’s being ridiculous. You shouldn’t be putting food straight out of the oven in front of a 3 year old. Just leave it on the side for a few minutes,. Then tell him to blow on it if it’s still a bit warm to get him to know that sometimes he has to be careful......but not with food straight out of a 200 degree oven that could really hurt him.

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Samsmam2 · 17/12/2019 08:24

Your DH sounds like a nasty dangerous bully as well as a right prick. For heaven’s sake put your foot down & protect your poor child.

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Sweetpeach3 · 17/12/2019 08:25

Oh okay... haha pretty sure I leave all food out the oven to settle for atLeast 5mins before attempting to eat ?
I do want taste buds not frazzled ones !
But I must admit my DS (3) does prefer his food to me warmer then having it ready to eat these days
He loves blowing it (even though it is eatable just abit warmer then DD (2))
Xx

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JinglingHellsBells · 17/12/2019 08:26

But it's nothing to do with age is it @thefluffysideofgrey You'd not make your guests eat hot food would you?

You usually warn people that 'it's very hot'.

At 3 I'd have thought a child was old enough to try a tiny spoonful and test it. If your son can't do this, then you as the parent have to wait till the food is cool enough to eat.

Your husband is an idiot if he understands your child cannot yet make this judgement, but allows him to burn his mouth all the time.

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Pinkypie86 · 17/12/2019 08:28

My DSD used to be like this she is 5. In fact she still doesnt touch 'hot' food. She won't blow it,or even try it until it is freezing.
Her DM puts it by an open window to cool then gives her freezing cold food.
I make her sit and the table and wait for it to cool - it teaches patience and also, to check how hot or not food is.
I don't think your DH wants him to burn himself?? Does he? Surely he just wants to instill some patience and independence?

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Cannyhandleit · 17/12/2019 08:32

I am definitely guilty of giving my just turned 3 year old food that's too hot for him but I know he checks it and if it's too hot he'll leave it and go back to it. You know your child best and if that's not something they will do then of course you shouldn't give it to him.

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Instagrump · 17/12/2019 08:32

I've almost always served hot food except in the very early stages of weaning. Otherwise they'd be eating nasty cold food for years. A warning of "its burny baby" or "Burn burn" is enough to remind them to blow on it.

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BreatheAndFocus · 17/12/2019 08:36

YADNBU. Your DH is either a sadist, an idiot, totally lacking in empathy (he can manage so why can’t your DC?) - or is just saying that because he can’t be arsed to wait himself or help his DC.

Ignore him.

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BennyTheBall · 17/12/2019 08:38

Your husband sounds perverse.

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70sWitch · 17/12/2019 08:38

Ah. Another pontificating father laying down the law. History is littered with these types. No practical experience of child rearing yet apparently know all about it and how to do it much better than mum.

Coming out with random bullshit justified with the words "the child needs to learn"

Nope!

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Fluffy40 · 17/12/2019 08:41

I always let mine cool for five mins. It makes the meal much more enjoyable.

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Fluffycloudland77 · 17/12/2019 08:42

Christ I can’t wait for his road safety/swimming lessons then.

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DontDribbleOnTheCarpet · 17/12/2019 08:44

Some phrases make me concerned because they remind me of my abusive parents. "They've got to learn" is right at the top of the list. I have a facial scar from "having to learn" and my sister had years of pain from two severe scalds.
Learning does not mean no adequate supervision or help.

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hsegfiugseskufh · 17/12/2019 09:00

at 3 i'm surprised your son doesn't know that food comes out of the oven hot, and to leave it a minute or blow it.

I give my 3yo food straight out of the oven, as in when I would serve it for myself as well. I tell him its hot, he either waits a minute or blows it, he checks it before he puts it in his mouth.

He really does need to learn, but like I said I would teach him by saying "careful its hot you need to blow it" not just letting him burn his mouth on it.

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BeanTownNancy · 17/12/2019 09:00

So, we sometimes do this if (for example), the chips took a little longer than expected so they get plated up as soon as they are done, whereas everything else has been plated up for a few minutes. We present the food to the 3yo and say "the chips are hot, so eat some chicken first". You've got to judge it based on the kid though, I didn't start doing it until I was sure my kid understood me and wouldn't bite straight into burning food - before that I would put the chips where he could see but not touch them and tell him they were hot and let him safely touch or nibble them to learn.

If your kid isn't ready yet then no, don't endanger them... But a 3 year old isn't inherently too young for hot food as you say in your OP. Mine isn't.

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Fatasfooook · 17/12/2019 09:01

I would say it’s exactly the right age for teaching your child about hot food.

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BigFatLiar · 17/12/2019 09:02

It is important to know about hot food, it depends on what he's doing, Teach them not to just stick it in their mouth, blow on it, wait. While they do need to learn its also your (and DH) responsibility to keep them from harm, so definitely not allowing them to hurt themselves.

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Rumnraisin · 17/12/2019 09:03

Nothing like good old-fashioned conditioning aye

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Pfefferkuchen · 17/12/2019 09:04

This has resulted in screams and food being thrown across the room.

Is your husband force-feeding your child burning hot food? That's torture, I would be on the phone to the police and be gone by the time they arrive.

Is your husband not wrapping your 3 year old in cotton food but teaching him to wait and be careful so he is actually safe when mummy is not around, or mummy is not careful one day when you are in a pub or having diner with friends? Then your husband is absolutely right. A 3 year old needs to learn! What you do is YOU stop him from eating until it's cool enough, until it's a reflex to check.. How else will they learn?

And who is throwing food across the room? You or the kid?

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Countryescape · 17/12/2019 09:06

Your husband is a dick.

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my2bundles · 17/12/2019 09:10

Yester most my kids where not subjectedr to hot food age 3, more like 5 when they had more understanding. Funinmily enough my youngest is now 12 and none of them burn their mouths as they learnt how to handle it when they whete ready. Funnily enough they handle sharp knifes effectively aswell . I'm a big belives in following a child's lead and letting them deal with hot food or whatever else when they are ready as an individual. My kids are living proof this works.

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rhubarbcrumbles · 17/12/2019 09:13

YANBU. Yes, give him hot food but not food that will burn him. Your DH is being uncaring and cruel

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