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To think three is too young for hot food?

191 replies

thefluffysideofgrey · 17/12/2019 06:49

As in very hot, straight out of the oven, will burn you if you touch or bite it hot?

My DH is adamant that our son needs to learn how to deal with it. This has resulted in screams and food being thrown across the room. I don't blame him.

Am I being precious?

OP posts:
Raspberry123 · 17/12/2019 09:15

You both souns a bit bonkers to me... I have never considered this an issue either way.

Pfefferkuchen · 17/12/2019 09:15

My kids are living proof this works.

and that's why so many teachers have to deal with kids in reception who don't know how to use a knife, let alone a tool when they are at lunch, or cooking or working with wood or whatever the reception kids are doing that day...

The amount of children who genuinely do not know how to cut their own food in reception and use cutlery is astonishing.

my2bundles · 17/12/2019 09:17

I'm not saying g don't teach them I'm saying help them when they are ready Mine could use a knife when entering school so yes they way I did it does work.

hsegfiugseskufh · 17/12/2019 09:19

theres a lot of exaggeration and over reaction on this thread!

"if your husband force-feeding your child burning hot food?"

fuck sake! where has op even inferred that's whats happening?

maybe he is just serving the 3yos food at the same time as his and ops food? which is entirely reasonable and what I assume most people do.

The 3yo throwing food is a separate issue! more likely because he is tired like op said.

StoppinBy · 17/12/2019 09:25

No way!! I don't even give my 6 year old food that has just come out of te oven. Very cruel to give it to a 3 year, nasty behaviour on your partners behalf.

Twittlebee · 17/12/2019 09:28

I am so confused, I have never thought of this to be an issue. I've just always served DS' food same time as ours and I guess he has learnt from observing us that food may be hot and he has to patiently wait for it to cool down a bit.

Last night, for example, I served us all a roast and DS (2.5 years) cut his food up and then ate what had cooled down the quickest first .i.e. the brussel sprouts first and the potatoes last.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 17/12/2019 09:41

Ask your DH to eat food straight out of the oven.


Of course you wait for it to cool. That is how you 'deal with it'.

tinytoast · 17/12/2019 09:42

Literal child abuse.

Mummyoflittledragon · 17/12/2019 09:42

Dhs friend lost an eye at 7 through “having to learn“. He was told to mow the grass then not reminded to put safety glasses on - kids are short and a piece shingle can easily ricochet that high. One did and took his eye out.

I presume in this context dh refers to dickhead.

Emeraldshamrock · 17/12/2019 09:47

Your DH is ridiculous. I leave my 4 year olds plate last to give it an extra minute to cool on the counter.
I still tell him things are hot, to blow or release steam by stirring. He does not need a burn to learn.

BlueJava · 17/12/2019 09:51

A 3 year old doesn't learn food can be hot by burning themselves! We try to instil you have to be careful... "Let's see if it's stlll too hot" and "Let is cool down" but in reality it's on the side (out of reach) until it's cool enough to eat. Obviously children need protecting and learn about being careful by being repeatedly told something (as well as experimentation), but "Mind the sharp corner" and "Take your fingers out the door" is part of being a parent!

ToTheRegimentIWishIWasThere · 17/12/2019 09:52

My just turned 3yo knows that food out of the oven is hot, but he trusts me to make his world safe.

I give him hot food, but not got enough to burn his mouth, and if he did burn his mouth I'd be mortified and feel horrible about it.

If he burnt his mouth, he also likely wouldn't eat anything else on the plate and would be worried about food for the next few meals.

There's learn by "this food is hot, we need to wait and blow on it, and then test it with little nibbles, ok?" And then there's learn by plating up hot food and placing it in front of a small child to eat and if they burn their mouth then "they need to learn" to be patient/that food is hot/not to trust what Daddy feeds them because he hurts me etc.

Soubriquet · 17/12/2019 09:55

Jeez your dh is a dick

I still don’t give my two dc food straight from the oven and they are 6 and 4!

I always leave it a couple of minutes.

I hate food burning my mouth so why would I inflict that on my kids?!

If it’s in a restaurant, I will always cut it up and encourage them to blow it first.

hsegfiugseskufh · 17/12/2019 10:12

we don't actually know what the DH has done though do we?

ToTheRegimentIWishIWasThere · 17/12/2019 10:24

We don't, but allowing/being prepared to allow a small child to burn their mouth on "very hot, straight out of the oven, will burn you if you touch or bite it" food and be upset is like a dick move regardless.

ToTheRegimentIWishIWasThere · 17/12/2019 10:25
  • 'Seems like a dick move' not 'is like'
Sirzy · 17/12/2019 10:26

For it to have become such an issue I can’t help but wonder if there is a slight level of over the top behaviour from the OP. If she is leaving food for say 10 minutes before letting him near it then he could have a point. It could well be a case where there is unreasonable behaviour on both sides.

PlasticPatty · 17/12/2019 10:27

I can't see any point in defending the father here. He deliberately hurts his child.
Not acceptable.

Pfefferkuchen · 17/12/2019 10:33

He deliberately hurts his child.

Does he? where did you read that?

Maybe the OP could come back and clarify what exactly is her DH doing, sounds like he's serving everyone at the same time like any normal family does, not expecting the kid to burn himself Hmm

but the OP is free to come back and tell us, as people are falling over themselves to accuse the father of child abuse

hsegfiugseskufh · 17/12/2019 10:37

We don't, but allowing/being prepared to allow a small child to burn their mouth on "very hot, straight out of the oven, will burn you if you touch or bite it" food and be upset is like a dick move regardless

he may well be saying "blow it ds, it's hot" or "wait a minute ds its very hot" just like millions of other parents do without being accused of child abuse Hmm

op has been very vague.

Mushypeasandchipstogo · 17/12/2019 10:47

Your ‘DH’ is an idiot. You seriously don’t mind him abusing your child like this?????
Fair enough serving food at the same time as the rest of the family but you should ensure that it is at the right temperature for your DS by showing him how to blow on it.

ToTheRegimentIWishIWasThere · 17/12/2019 10:47

he may well be saying "blow it ds, it's hot" or "wait a minute ds its very hot" just like millions of other parents do without being accused of child abuse

He may well say that, but still, surely the best way to teach three year olds, not best known for their patience and ability to wait/listen, is just not to give them food straight out of the oven?

hsegfiugseskufh · 17/12/2019 10:51

totheregiment except that doesn't teach them anything does it?

it teaches them that you can eat something straight away

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 17/12/2019 10:56

DS is about to turn 3. I don't hand the plate over boiling hot, but i dont serve it tepid any more either. Often when I cook things cool at different rates. They do need to learn to listen to your instructions - eg "don't start with the sausages, those are too hot". DS knows if he can see steam it's too hot.

I've also taught him to hold his hand over a bowl etc & feel if it's not, to blow on things, to start at the edge of a bowl etc..

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 17/12/2019 10:58

They do need to learn how to judge whether something is ready to eat yet, and they need to learn patience to wait for something to cool if it's a bit hot.

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