Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To phone in sick tomorrow?

186 replies

Stressedoutaboutinlaws · 16/12/2019 23:24

Currently at A&E with dp, he has a recurrent issue with severe stomach pains which usually result in a hospital stay.

Been seen by triage who confirmed he needs a needle in the arm to get anti sickness/pain medicine in without bringing it back up, but we might have a bit of a wait for a doctor/bed because the rooms are all full atm.

So likely going to be a long night, amd have a pretty poorly dp. Currently very weak and dehydrated as not been able to keep anything down for over 24 hours.

Issue with phoning in sick tomorrow is that myself and dp work for the same company. So if i also call in sick(as he will obviously be off) they are 2 people down.

I dunno i feel slightly guilty for leaving them short staffed, but at the same time, im already shattered, amd want to be with dp to make sure hes ok, attempting to drink fluids etc.

Wibu to phone in sick tomorrow as well as dp or should i force myself to go in?

OP posts:
PawPawNoodle · 16/12/2019 23:30

Well you aren't sick so you shouldn't call in for that. You could call and have a conversation with your manager instead and ask for a days annual leave at short notice to look after your partner.

Jingers5 · 16/12/2019 23:34

I would put my partner first. Hope he feels better soon. I'm sure work will manage for the day.

BeanTownNancy · 16/12/2019 23:38

Sorry, but you're not sick. I know you want to be there for him but that's not your company's problem. You can use a day of annual leave if you really want to stay.

Last year I had a severe stomach pain and I had to wait in the walk in centre and then hours in A&E by myself because someone had to look after our toddler. I managed, painful as it was. Thankfully the next day when I had emergency surgery, it was the weekend and family could take the toddler.

TorysSuckRevokeArticle50 · 16/12/2019 23:40

This would fall under the category of emergency dependents leave though so it is reasonable for you to be off work. The difference being it may be unpaid, would that be something you could absorb financially?

www.gov.uk/time-off-for-dependants

SteelRiver · 16/12/2019 23:44

Could you request a day's unpaid leave, or use a day if your holiday entitlement so you can look after your partner? By all means call in sick if you really are, but if you're only tired then its not really appropriate. Also to bear in mind, sickness records can sometimes be used against you. Mine certainly was.

Hope your partner feels better soon.

Letitbegin · 16/12/2019 23:44

Op obviously knows she's not sick she means should she call and say she's not going in tomorrow. Yes I think you should call them and say you won't be in. You will be tired and worried about your partner. I hope he's ok. Do they have any idea what's causing it? It's a genuine reason you can't go in so don't feel guilty

Original poster
Stressedoutaboutinlaws · 16/12/2019 23:44

Taking a day off sick would be unpaid anyway, first day of absence is unpaid. So wouldnt be expecting to get paid anyway

OP posts:
AlviesMam · 16/12/2019 23:44

I would 100% stay with my husband. I personally wouldn't leave his side.

Original poster
Stressedoutaboutinlaws · 16/12/2019 23:46

Hes had all investiagtions possible over the years, including being referred to private hospital for additional investigation. No idea whats causing it. He can be fine for months and months and then be floored. Stomach spasms causing vomitting which doesnt stop until he has anti sickness and painkillers, which needs to be through a needle in the hand as he cant keep anything down.

OP posts:
Letitbegin · 16/12/2019 23:50

Have they scanned his gallbladder? I'm guessing they have I just had mine out every time I had and attach had to go to A&E for strong painkillers and anti sickness. I only had sludge no stones in mine

vdbfamily · 16/12/2019 23:53

could you request half a day to catch up on some sleep and go in and get some work done in the afternoon?

chuck7 · 16/12/2019 23:58

Does he feel like he absolutely needs you there? If this is a recurring thing do you need to stay everytime? Don't get me wrong, I absolutely understand wanting to stay but it doesn't sound practical and from what you've said.

teentree · 16/12/2019 23:59

Honestly? I would go home and go to work.

If it was a terminal illness I would absolutely say stay with him, but for something that needs treatment but isn't life threatening I would get some sleep and go to work.

I have been in and out of hospital a few times in the past couple of years and DH has cracked in with work, taking care of the kids and house and done up to visit when he can.

In an ideal world yes you would be able to stay, but realistically life doesn't pause.

I do hope he is feeling better real soon.

Original poster
Stressedoutaboutinlaws · 17/12/2019 00:01

I just worry at how quickly the dehydration kicks in when he is like this. He can be ok-ish and then all of a sudden be barely able to walk hes so weak.

I could possibly take the morning off and go in on the afternoon, luckily my work calender tomorrow is 2 half day site visits.

I dunno maybe it is just because im worried about him.

OP posts:
Original poster
Stressedoutaboutinlaws · 17/12/2019 00:03

Absolutely no chance that i would go home just now. Dp is currently curled up in a ball on the seat in agony, waiting for a bed to get admitted. No way could i leave him here on his own like this. No kids so dont have to think about childcare etc.

OP posts:
user1471449295 · 17/12/2019 00:03

I would also go home and go to work tomorrow.
Life-threatening/terminal illness then obviously I’d stay, but this seems like a semi-regular occurrence, does he absolutely need you to stay?

Washedoutlady · 17/12/2019 00:05

The hospital staff can look after him go home and go to work.

strawberrieshortcake · 17/12/2019 00:07

I would stay till he gets the treatment started then go home and get to work tomorrow tbh.

Original poster
Stressedoutaboutinlaws · 17/12/2019 00:07

Semi regular as in he gets minor bouts that he can deal with at home. Hospital visits are maybe once a year if that. Hes just so weak and vulnerable atm, I'm not leaving him.

I can absolutely cope with losing a days pay, its more guilt about letting people down that its bothering me

OP posts:
TisTheSeasonToBe · 17/12/2019 00:08

Its fine not to go to work tomorrow but unacceptable to ring in sick. I would speak to the manager and ask for a days leave/unpaid time whatever it is.
Exactly what would you say if you were trying to pretend to be sick?

Original poster
Stressedoutaboutinlaws · 17/12/2019 00:12

Phone in sick was obviously the wrong phrase. General absence from work and sickness is treated under the same 'absence policy' at my work. Phone in sick/let them know i cant make it in is the same thing.

OP posts:
StoppinBy · 17/12/2019 00:34

I have only ever worked in small businesses and there is no way that I would leave them down 2 staff members in this situation sorry.

It sounds like he is unwell but will be fine. Get whatever rest you can and then go to work, go home and sleep if your partner will be ok by himself (As he has been triaged I am assuming he will be?).

Original poster
Stressedoutaboutinlaws · 17/12/2019 00:37

Hes been triaged and given some anti sickness through an iv, but is waiting on a bed to get admitted, so not really ok atm but just waiting.

OP posts:
Earache2020 · 17/12/2019 00:48

I don't have any comment on whether you should go to work but my husband gets bouts of uncontrollable vomiting. It doesn't sound exactly the same as he doesn't have pain in his stomach it's just the vomiting and then dehydration etc. Anyway I just thought I'd mention as he still doesn't really know what it is but doctors have mentioned cyclical vomiting syndrome or abdominal migraines.

tolerable · 17/12/2019 00:49

do whatever suits you best.