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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To phone in sick tomorrow?

186 replies

Stressedoutaboutinlaws · 16/12/2019 23:24

Currently at A&E with dp, he has a recurrent issue with severe stomach pains which usually result in a hospital stay.

Been seen by triage who confirmed he needs a needle in the arm to get anti sickness/pain medicine in without bringing it back up, but we might have a bit of a wait for a doctor/bed because the rooms are all full atm.

So likely going to be a long night, amd have a pretty poorly dp. Currently very weak and dehydrated as not been able to keep anything down for over 24 hours.

Issue with phoning in sick tomorrow is that myself and dp work for the same company. So if i also call in sick(as he will obviously be off) they are 2 people down.

I dunno i feel slightly guilty for leaving them short staffed, but at the same time, im already shattered, amd want to be with dp to make sure hes ok, attempting to drink fluids etc.

Wibu to phone in sick tomorrow as well as dp or should i force myself to go in?

OP posts:
Beautiful3 · 17/12/2019 05:27

Hes in a safe place. They will look after him. I would go to work.

louderthan1 · 17/12/2019 05:47

Good grief, if I phoned up my work and said I'd been in A&E all night with my partner they'd tell me not to come in and ask if I needed anything!
Work is not the be all and end all.

NeverForgetYourDreams · 17/12/2019 06:02

Small business owner here

I would not expect you to work today after having been at hospital all night with husband/partner.

Hope he's on the mend soon
And you get to the bottom of what causing it.

BigusBumus · 17/12/2019 06:10

Sounds like gallbladder or pancreatitis to me. What's his weight like and does he drink alcohol?

Bloke23 · 17/12/2019 06:28

Sounds like gallbladder or pancreatitis, i spent a week in hospital with a pancreatitis, i was on a morphine drip for 4 days, wasnt aloud to eat for 4 days too, so your husband has my sympathy!

If this was my partner, i wouldnt be going to work, family comes first in my world so fuck work, but im also on minimum wage and could get amother job easily

Namaste6 · 17/12/2019 06:41

I would call my boss and explain honestly what has happened. You're an adult. Explain that you are tired and concerned about your husband and you would like to take a days annual leave or unpaid family day at short notice. You are protected by employment law for such circumstances but do the honourable thing and take the day from either your annual leave or unpaid. Hope all goes well for you. 💕

churchandstate · 17/12/2019 06:41

The business will live. Stay with your DH.

Happygoldfinch · 17/12/2019 06:53

I wouldn't have stayed with him at the hospital! Sleep is sacred...

milliefiori · 17/12/2019 06:56

Just call and tell them you've been up all night in A&E and are shattered. You can come in if they want but you might be a bit slow and shouldn;t operate machinery/drive. Then it's their call.

ButtonandPickle19 · 17/12/2019 06:56

YABU but you should have the day off. You’re not sick but you need to request an emergency day off. If you are too tired to work and not able to focus your unlikely to be able to work well

Foslady · 17/12/2019 06:57

I had this happen on the evening before the last day of work at Christmas last year -DP admitted with chest pains. I stayed all night until he was admitted at 6. After putting in an all nighter I rang in and took an unpaid day as I wasn’t fit to drive let alone work (it was mild pleurisy and was discharged later in the day).
I took his discharge paperwork in with me on Jan 2nd to prove what had happened and they were ok with it all.
Hope the meds have kicked in for him.

Sparklybaublefest · 17/12/2019 07:15

it depends how reasonable your employers are, yabu to take a sick day but you could take an leave day, or morning.

sandragreen · 17/12/2019 07:32

General absence from work and sickness is treated under the same 'absence policy' at my work

Are you sure? That's not meeting legislative requirements.......

Anyway, I would probably go to work, unless you are too exhausted to work, in which case you can ring in as unfit to work.

ChewChewIsMySpiritAnimal · 17/12/2019 07:37

I wouldn't have stayed with him at the hospital! Sleep is sacred...

Bloody hell I'm glad you're not my partner!

Hope he feels better soon op. There is no way id be going to work and leaving my husband in that state. It sounds like he needs someone there to advocate for him.

EvaHarknessRose · 17/12/2019 07:37

Take care, best stay off now as no sleep on top of worry

Areyoufree · 17/12/2019 07:44

I can’t believe the posters who were telling you to leave him, because the hospital staff would take care of him. Being alone and in pain in hospital is awful! Hope your husband feels better this morning.

FamilyOfAliens · 17/12/2019 08:01

I can’t believe the posters who were telling you to leave him, because the hospital staff would take care of him.

Even though the OP has admitted that after staying with him all night she will then get in her car and drive, having had no sleep?

teentree · 17/12/2019 08:14

I can’t believe the posters who were telling you to leave him,

You can't believe that everyone's lives are not the same?

Seriously, I suggested going home. My DH has had to leave me several times over in pain and in hospital. It's not difficult to understand that people have to do this.

If it's not life limiting then yes, sometimes we do have to leave.

SomethingNastyInTheBallPool · 17/12/2019 08:16

I would absolutely not go into work under those circs. Aside from wanting to be there for your husband, you’ll be in no fit state to work, and quite possibly unsafe. And I wouldn’t expect anyone working for me to come in after spending all night in A&E, either.

GruciusMalfoy · 17/12/2019 08:25

If you have to drive I don't think its sensible for you to go to work. You'll be exhausted and more likely to make mistakes on the road. I hope your boss in understanding, and that your partner has some answers soon.

Damntheman · 17/12/2019 11:41

Oh wow definitely don't go to work OP! You've been up all night, you're exhausted and you'll just worry about your husband while you're gone. Stay with him, nobody with any compassion would expect you to go to work today. Work is not the be all and end all, loved ones always come first.

Original poster
Stressedoutaboutinlaws · 17/12/2019 11:46

Just got home frol the hospital now. So no chance ill be able to get to work. Heading to the shop for some bread and millk then going to bed. Phone ran out of battery which is why i went quiet.

OP posts:
kateandme · 17/12/2019 16:24

im glad you didnt go to work luv.fingers crossed your work is fine with it.you were with your sick husband all night so they bloody should be.
take care of yourself.
did they manage to get to whats wrong once you saw the surgeon?
its really heartening you stuck by him.yes its great to get to work.but what comes first in life really?at the end of all this who comes first.family.love.

rhubarbcrumbles · 17/12/2019 16:26

If he's in hospital then he'll be being cared for, if he's home then you need to ask for whatever the appropriate leave is and not phone in sick. They will know/find out that you are not ill anyway.

DoTheHop · 17/12/2019 16:45

Did they admit him or find out what's wrong?

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