To phone in sick tomorrow?

[Stressedoutaboutinlaws]

Currently at A&E with dp, he has a recurrent issue with severe stomach pains which usually result in a hospital stay.

Been seen by triage who confirmed he needs a needle in the arm to get anti sickness/pain medicine in without bringing it back up, but we might have a bit of a wait for a doctor/bed because the rooms are all full atm.

So likely going to be a long night, amd have a pretty poorly dp. Currently very weak and dehydrated as not been able to keep anything down for over 24 hours.

Issue with phoning in sick tomorrow is that myself and dp work for the same company. So if i also call in sick(as he will obviously be off) they are 2 people down.

I dunno i feel slightly guilty for leaving them short staffed, but at the same time, im already shattered, amd want to be with dp to make sure hes ok, attempting to drink fluids etc.

Wibu to phone in sick tomorrow as well as dp or should i force myself to go in?

Thank you, i think the cannabis is the base cause, but it seems a bit more complicated. He can be smoking it for months and months with no issues, and then something stressful can happen (of varying degrees of severity) and it brings on the vomiting. But i dont think the vomiting would happen if it wasnt for the cannabis.

And then theres the fact that cannabis can help with sickness, but obviously its a very short relief.

Dp always seems to be worse in the mornings, normally gets up at 4am ish to have several very hot baths to try and ease the pain.

But fingers crossed this is the last little blip to get through, the medicine we got discharged with seem to have worked, spoke to work who are just concerned that he is not well, im back in work tomorrow (had another day off today, i know that was controversial the first time but i was mot leaving my dp, sobbing in pain in an a amd e waiting room with no one to advocate for him) but dp has another day off (at least) in order to get better.

I'm honestly not surprised that you're dh was not given morphine straight away, and to be honest, I would be extremely surprised if they didn't try numerous other drugs before morphine from now on, and with good reason. Morphine is a highly addictive controlled drug, and your partner has demonstrated that he has a problem with addiction to a "lesser" drug for want of a better word. The last thing anyone wants, is for one addiction to be replaced with another, your partner included.

He's doing well, and reminding him of that, taking anti-sickness meds, and paracetamol regularly, (avoiding aspirin/ibuprofen type painkillers which can irritate the stomach) along with the hot baths or showers will all make a difference. If you're worried about dehydration, you can buy dioralyte rehydration sachets otc and make those up for him to sip.

Stressedoutaboutinlaws cyclical vomiting quite often will be worse in the morning .Stress can be a very frequent trigger .Cvs suffers do tend to have hot baths to ease their pain .It is hard say if your DP has cvs , some of his symptoms do point to it .It takes a long time to get diagnosed because a lot of drs have never come across it i speak from experience so the best thing i can suggest is you look up the symptoms and see if your Dp possibly fits.

Another flare up... Dp is currently in the bath, having taken codeine and cyclezine (not sure how to spell it but its an anti sickness) that the hospital gave him last time. He doesnt seem to be being sick as much yet (fingers crossed it doesnt escalate) but is still not very well at all.

From a purely selfish point of view, im really struggling. I cant tell him that, becausr he already has enough guilt about missing work etc, but at the same time, i cant really talk to my parents because of the weed connection, or my friends because a previous flare up made me miss most of the evening of my friends wedding, which i feel guilty about.

I know that the reason dp is in this state just now is because hes stopped the weed, so i really want to support him. I just need to vent and feel a bit sorry for myself as well i suppose. Im just feeling constantly shattered atm, worry about him is making me feel sick. I know theres an end in sight, its got to be nearly passed now, but it just feels like its never going to end.

I already feel ridiulcously awful for writing that post. I need to snap out of my pity party and help dp. Its only temporary.

He managed about 2 hours out of the bath, and maybe about an hour of sleep before waking up in pain again and is now back in the bath. I just feel so useless.

It’s not selfish to say you’re struggling to cope. Sounds like you’ve had an incredibly stressful time over the last month. It’s really hard to care for someone when they’re in pain/sick.

I hope he’s over his withdrawal soon. Take care of yourself as well as your husband. I hope you get some sleep tonight.

Dp is so worried about the amount of time hes had off sick already, we were meant to be working together today, i told him yesterday that i would just do the full job myself, so he didnt need to phone in sick again. But after getting no sleep and needing to be up at 5am for work i dont think im up to doing two peoples work tomorrow. Is it mean of me to get dp to phone in sick so that i either get someone else with me or the job gets cancelled and i get allocated somewhere else?

No, that's whal he'll need to do. You need to think of your own health here too.
Is he seeing anyone to help him kick his habit? From whal you've said about the background to it I would think counselling would do him good.

He needs to stop taking codeine, that's in itself will make him sick and causes constipation.

Ive mentioned counseling but hes really not keen, said he had a bad experience as a child seeing a counselor who just made him cry all the time. I did say that he could work on finding someone that suits what he needs, but hes not keen.

Im going to leave it for now but if he struggles with staying off the weed this time im going to be a bit more insistant.

Orange he has nothing else that even touches the edges of the pain. If he stops taking the codeine hes going to need to go back to the hospital. I did think it was strange that they were so reluctant to guve morphine at the hospital last time, but happily waved him off with a big box of strong codeine.

Just spoke to dp, still in the bath. Codeine is not helping with the pain anymore, he cant settle at all. Hes been managing so far with the fact hes not being sick as much, so was keeping the medication in his system. But now hes being sick a lot more nothing is having a chance to take affect, which is normally when he needs a cannula for iv drugs.

Im getting up for work in an hour, and weve agreed that hes going to phone his mum who stays nearby to come over and look after him/take him to hospital if he doesnt improve. And when the office opens im going to phone in to let the office know hes sick and cant make it to work.

Hes avoided telling his mum hes not been well so far as he doesnt want to worry her as she has her own issues ( but all her issues are ok to worry him with... ) but i think hes worried about me dealing with this all myself. Ive been ok up to now but think his mum stepping in to help is the right next step.

I would just call your boss and explain the situation and see what they say

You need to actually step away from this. You’re getting too heavily involved. Your partner needs to learn to look after himself better. One of you needs to work.

If my dh had acted like you are acting for your partner, he wouldn’t have a job. I was incredibly ill before I had major surgery 18 months ago. Then I had surgery again almost a year ago now. I am nowhere close to being recovered. I’m getting stronger. But it is slow because of how ill I was in the beginning. I was so ill I actually thought there was a possibility I wouldn’t survive the first operation.

Sounds like Cyclical Vomiting. Ds has this, so I know a lot about it. Google it and see if symptoms match. It goes hand in hand with migraines and cannabinoid hyperemesis. Ds has all of the above. He takes magnesium, vitamin d, omega 3's, CoQ10, Levo-carnitine, riboflavin and B-100 Complex which helps enormously. It's also important to get lots of extra rest, no emotional disturbances (good or bad) AND of course, stop smoking weed.

Ive had 2 days off work with his sickness, i dont think thats excessive, and im going into work today despite the fact that hes prpbably going to have to go to hospital today again. Hes just slowly getting worse, its soon going to reach that point. Its difficult to 'step away' from someone you care about, knowing they are likely to go downhill fast and need to go to hospital. This doesnt really feel like 'recovery' atm.

Dp takes multi-vitamins on my insistance, i do think they help a bit. Hes stopped the weed so hopefuly its just this week or so to get through and he'll turn a corner.

Yes, I do get how hard it must be to step away. However, your job was to get some sleep last night to be able to work. His job was to sort himself out, have baths, rest etc. It’s about setting yourselves up so he doesn’t disturb you too much. I have my phone and I call dh. I can’t always do that as I’m too weak at times.

Perhaps the way forward would have been to have a phone to call you, drinks, meds, food (if he can keep food down), blanket maybe somewhere to sleep all in the bathroom. Or him sleep in the spare room if you have one etc. If you don’t look after yourself, you’re not going to be available to both work and be there for your dp if/when he really needs help.

Yeah i get where youre coming from, im really struggling now so am kinda being forced to look after myself a bit as well. Last night's lack of sleep was my own doing from worrying, dp was looking after himself really, i went to bed at 9am, i just couldnt sleep. I did get a bit of rest though so its not too bad. Its just that when hes in the bath for such long periods of time and feeling drowsy, im paranoid that hes going to fall asleep/unconscious and drown. So i check on him every so often to make sure hes alive. Im leaving for work in 10 mins. Hes going to phone his mum at 7am and go round there i think. Trying to stay positive, hes not being sick as much, and is drinking lots of weak diluting juice (slowly) so is in a better condition than he has been in previous episodes. But needs someone in the house with him. Told him im insisting on that, and im going to phone to check hes contacted his mum later, if not im phoning her myself. She has a key so can let herself in to check on him if needed.

Also convinced dp to use a big chunk of his annual leave,when i phone work for him later, im going to ask if he can have tomorrow and all next week off as annual leave. Then relieves his stress about trying to make it in to work. Think they will go for this despite it being short notice, cos chances are he wasnt going to be making it in anyway.

We are getting there, im trying to stay as normal and positive as possible for dp, amd think of the practical things, i just need a little hand hold and support every so often that i cant really gst from real life people atm, so this thread is really helping me ❤

Yes, I understand you would be very apprehensive to leave him alone in the bath. Could he not shower in the night instead? As for drinks, you can buy ready made rehydration salt sachets from the chemist (diarolyte or own brand). Otherwise there are recipes to make your own online for a lot less money. These contain glucose and salts, more in line with what you’d get in an iv line.

Shower wouldnt be enough for the pain. Hes literally pouring a bath with total hot water, getting in until it starts to get cold, getting out, running another bath amd getting back in. From about 6pm last night till now he's only been oit of the bath for about 2 hours total.

Ive been adding a little bit of diarolyte to his water, he doesnt like the taste so not putting a full sachet in, but thought a little bit was better than nothing.

Its just difficult, it feels like hes taken a big step back, and i dont know why. He was ok yesterday when i got in from work, had eaten 2 slices of toast spread through the day and was fine so massive progress, then all of a sudden the sickness and pain came back. Im just so desperate for him to be on the mend.

Are you saying the anti emetics aren’t working anymore and he’s being sick right now / overnight? If so, he will probably end up in hospital today. But if not and if he can keep diarolyte down, I would have thought he should grin and bear it as this could help him to avoid being admitted again.

Sorry to be clear I don’t have any medical training. Just an opinion and having used them for hydration a lot myself when I was very ill.

You are not sick and he is an adult so no you shouldn’t be calling in sick