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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To phone in sick tomorrow?

186 replies

Stressedoutaboutinlaws · 16/12/2019 23:24

Currently at A&E with dp, he has a recurrent issue with severe stomach pains which usually result in a hospital stay.

Been seen by triage who confirmed he needs a needle in the arm to get anti sickness/pain medicine in without bringing it back up, but we might have a bit of a wait for a doctor/bed because the rooms are all full atm.

So likely going to be a long night, amd have a pretty poorly dp. Currently very weak and dehydrated as not been able to keep anything down for over 24 hours.

Issue with phoning in sick tomorrow is that myself and dp work for the same company. So if i also call in sick(as he will obviously be off) they are 2 people down.

I dunno i feel slightly guilty for leaving them short staffed, but at the same time, im already shattered, amd want to be with dp to make sure hes ok, attempting to drink fluids etc.

Wibu to phone in sick tomorrow as well as dp or should i force myself to go in?

OP posts:
Original poster
Stressedoutaboutinlaws · 17/12/2019 00:52

I think im going to go into work, or at least the afternoon anyway. Dp feels guilty when hes off work, he is normally the sort of person who goes into work no matter work. So dont want to make him feel worse by causing us both to be off. I can get through one day of work on no sleep.

OP posts:
salsmum · 17/12/2019 01:26

I had my gallbladder out a year ago and know it's the worse pain ever mane he needs a scan to rule gall stones out.

Napmum · 17/12/2019 01:32

Hi I think go in for the afternoon if you want to but it's up to you to decide. You're within your right to take carers leave and if you're up all night you really shouldn't be driving without rest. The human brain can partially go to sleep when exhausted and studies have shown exhaustion causes reaction delays worse than being I've the drive drive limit. It's not about being a little tired you've not slept for 24hours by the time you get to the morning.

Original poster
Stressedoutaboutinlaws · 17/12/2019 01:40

Still waiting here. Staff are lovely and very apologetic, but theres just no beds. Been in and out of the triage room a couple of times as a place to get some meds, but no room or bed yet. Will ask about gallstones and gallbladder once we are in amd speaking to a doctor, thank you for that suggestion!

I just feel so helpless when hes like this

OP posts:
safariboot · 17/12/2019 02:03

Hope your DH gets well soon.

I understand you want to stay with him now, but I think it will be hard to justify missing work tomorrow for this. Once your DH has been properly seen and the hospital know what their plan is then I think you'll be more able to decide yourself.

I agree with what a PP said, please don't drive tired, that's very dangerous. Get the bus or a taxi.

Original poster
Stressedoutaboutinlaws · 17/12/2019 02:11

I have to drive for my work, its travelling to different sites, it needs to be by car. Still waiting to be seen so will see what the doctor says and take it from there.

OP posts:
wurlycurly · 17/12/2019 02:13

I think it depends very much on your line of work? I’d say unless it massively impacts people, it is justifiable to take time off for this!

HanginWithMyGnomies · 17/12/2019 02:33

@Stressedoutaboutinlaws I hope your dp is ok and gets a bed soon :(

Please put your safety and that of others above feeling guilty for calling in for one day - 1/2 a day. Driving to a site visit after this much stress and no sleep is not really a good idea. Nothing’s worth an accident and site visits can absolutely be re-arranged.

DoTheHop · 17/12/2019 02:39

How long have you been in A&E? To see a doctor is 6-8 hours now. They'll have reviewed his initial bloods etc., but what time did you arrive at? Have you actually seen a doctor? Have they said he's to be admitted? Or do you mean you're still on a chair in A&E waiting on a trolley?

Original poster
Stressedoutaboutinlaws · 17/12/2019 02:47

I dont know. Not seen a doctor yet, had bloods and iv paracetomol as well as 3 different anti sickness meds. Still being sick though.

Got here at 10.30, got the cannula in at 12.

OP posts:
DoTheHop · 17/12/2019 02:55

You'll probably see a doc at 4.30am, though if he's still vomiting, they might bump him up the list.

DoTheHop · 17/12/2019 02:57

Where is the pain?

DoTheHop · 17/12/2019 02:59

My experience of A&E in winter is that it's 6-8 hours waiting. They do an initial review and put you on fluids/pain relief/anti-sickness, then you're left.

DoTheHop · 17/12/2019 03:01

It's absolute hell waiting in A&E (particularly when in pain), so yes, I'd ring in tomorrow and explain the situation.

Original poster
Stressedoutaboutinlaws · 17/12/2019 03:17

Pain is top middle towards right.

Seen by a doctor now, had a prod around and is away to get iv morphine and some fluid. Also said that a surgeon will be down to see him. Not sure if thats standard?

OP posts:
steff13 · 17/12/2019 03:28

That sounds like his gallbladder. I assume he's has an ultrasound, did that not show any issue?

Original poster
Stressedoutaboutinlaws · 17/12/2019 03:46

Not had any ultrasound or anything like that yet. Priority seemed to be managing the pain and the vomitting. But morphine and fluids obviously working, dp has fallen asleep while connected up to the fluids. Im guessing the surgeon will advice more on what next.

OP posts:
TheGinGenie · 17/12/2019 03:57

You're entitled to emergency leave for this, it's what it's there for. It will likely be unpaid but I would definitely not drive if I hadn't been to sleep, it's dangerous for you and others on the road and can be as bad as drink driving.

TheGinGenie · 17/12/2019 03:58

(Also I hope your DP is better soon )

Bl3ss3dm0m · 17/12/2019 04:01

First of all, good luck OP's husband, and you chose your wife well! Secondly, please ring up your work later this morning and explain the situation, and how little if any sleep you have had, then ask them their opinion - it would be highly unprofessional, and neglectful of them to say you should go to work considering it necessitates driving, they should insist that you don't go in! Flowers

TheGinGenie · 17/12/2019 04:03

I would also absolutely be with my husband in this situation and expect him to be with me.

Original poster
Stressedoutaboutinlaws · 17/12/2019 04:03

My alarm us set for 5am to get up for work, still waiting on a surgeon although now dp has a bed and is getting a bit of sleep so is feeling a bit better. Lucky to get this bed, its in a little annex office room, looks like it was set up for him as there was no one else. Amazing to see how hard the staff work in difficult conditions, can really see that its not easy for them. But everyone we have seen have been so nice and caring.

OP posts:
Beseen19 · 17/12/2019 04:14

Totally standard to be awaiting surgeon review. With stomach issues like this you'll be waiting for a bed on emergency receiving general surgery ward (which tend to be very very busy) and usually a doc from the receiving team would review the patient prior to 'accepting' them as a patient to ensure it is a general surgery concern.

DoTheHop · 17/12/2019 04:22

Seems like the A&E doc has made the call that's it's a surgical rather than medical issue. Surgeons are shit hot but may be a little abrupt and appear to be under pressure at times. Best of luck!

Sandaled · 17/12/2019 04:23

I would phone in but tell the truth rather than say you are sick, it's dangerous to be driving when tired and it sounds like your partner needs you. I would try and make a plan for Wednesday though in case, does he have family or anyone that can come over whilst you're at work if hes still poorly? Hope he gets some answers soon.

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