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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To phone in sick tomorrow?

186 replies

Stressedoutaboutinlaws · 16/12/2019 23:24

Currently at A&E with dp, he has a recurrent issue with severe stomach pains which usually result in a hospital stay.

Been seen by triage who confirmed he needs a needle in the arm to get anti sickness/pain medicine in without bringing it back up, but we might have a bit of a wait for a doctor/bed because the rooms are all full atm.

So likely going to be a long night, amd have a pretty poorly dp. Currently very weak and dehydrated as not been able to keep anything down for over 24 hours.

Issue with phoning in sick tomorrow is that myself and dp work for the same company. So if i also call in sick(as he will obviously be off) they are 2 people down.

I dunno i feel slightly guilty for leaving them short staffed, but at the same time, im already shattered, amd want to be with dp to make sure hes ok, attempting to drink fluids etc.

Wibu to phone in sick tomorrow as well as dp or should i force myself to go in?

OP posts:
Original poster
Stressedoutaboutinlaws · 17/12/2019 16:50

They think its to do with cannabis use sickness. Its an ongoing issue with dp, hes been smoking it snce forever, finds it difficult to stop. They did ecg and gallbladder scan which was fine. So we are home now.

Hes still feeling a bit sick though so hopefuly he doesnt need to go back.

Work were really good about it, i didnt actually phone but was in touch with my work planner via whatsapp and kept him updated for what was happening. Sorted out getting him another day off tomorrow and im obviously back to work. Obviously didnt tell them i was sick, just explained the situation.

OP posts:
HappyHammy · 17/12/2019 16:55

Glad he is home but perhaps he needs to speak to his doctor or an addiction centre about coming off cannabis. It's not doing him any good and if that is what they think is causing this then it is having an impact on you as well.

rhubarbcrumbles · 17/12/2019 17:00

I wouldn't take a day of work if his ill heath was self inflicted by taking drugs TBH.

DoTheHop · 17/12/2019 17:23

And they're off............. Grin

DoTheHop · 17/12/2019 17:24

It's a bit of a cop out to blame it on cannabis. It's like with alcoholics, if the cat had kittens, they'd blame it on the drink! Gin

Original poster
Stressedoutaboutinlaws · 17/12/2019 17:27

I dont think being self inflicted is relevent. If he was overweight and needed medical care, or type 2 diabetic, or another one of the many issues that are caused by lifestyle choices, it doesnt change the fact that he was in a lot of pain, severly dehydrated, couldnt stop vomitting and was very quickly getting weaker and weaker.

Irrespective of the cause, dp needed me with him, and he most definitely needed hospital car and treatment. And i want to add that at no point did anyone at the hospital try and insinuate that he shouldnt have been there.

OP posts:
DoTheHop · 17/12/2019 17:27

What it might well be, is gastritis. Smoking (of any description) can exacerbate that. But medication like nexium etc. might help. Ideally he'd need an endoscopy (camera down stomach).

Bit odd really. 'Well, we don't know what's wrong, but you smoke a lot of weed, so we're putting it down to that - now off you go'. Not terribly helpful is it?

PleasantVille · 17/12/2019 17:27

You're a much better person than me, I was reading this wondering what the doctors were missing when so many posters were saying gall bladder then you throw in that it's completely self inflicted drug misuse.

Does your employer know that you absence is due to his choices rather than illness?

DoTheHop · 17/12/2019 17:29

I wouldn't have left until he had been nausea-free for at least 2-3 hours.

Original poster
Stressedoutaboutinlaws · 17/12/2019 17:30

Through investigations in the past, hes had a lacrospocy, an endoscopy, and keyhole surgery. And couldn't find a cause.

I agree that its a bit of a cop out, i think its triggered by stress/anxiety issues. Lots of family issues last week have left dp feeling very stressed out and worried recently, and i think thats what set it off. Not sure how that could be treated though.

OP posts:
DoTheHop · 17/12/2019 17:30

@PleasantVille - do you feel the same about obese people who have heart attacks?

DoTheHop · 17/12/2019 17:31

Stress as a factor or not, there has to be a physical manifestation causing the sickness.

rhubarbcrumbles · 17/12/2019 17:33

If it's stress/anxiety then that's very different to being caused by drug use.

DoTheHop · 17/12/2019 17:33

Might be the impetus for him though to try to reduce or come off the weed. Google your council or borough and search for addiction (or drug and alcohol services) in your area. If your hospital did its job, they should have given him a leaflet on local services.

teentree · 17/12/2019 17:35

You need to go read about about diabetes before laying the blame at the sufferers door Angry

DoTheHop · 17/12/2019 17:35

Things can change quite quickly from one year to the next. I think they should have pushed for a scope.
Anyway, hope he's feeling better. Nausea is the worst.

StinkyXmasCheese · 17/12/2019 17:36

This must be a wind up.
He's unwell cos of illegal drug use. Nhs is stretched enough as it is. Crown Biscuit

DoTheHop · 17/12/2019 17:37

OP, for your own sanity, I'd hide this thread now. It WILL get worse.

teentree · 17/12/2019 17:41

They think its to do with cannabis use sickness

Really Hmm

So he misses work. You miss work. Cost the NHS thousands.

Tell him to grow up maybe?

Original poster
Stressedoutaboutinlaws · 17/12/2019 17:46

@DoTheHop i think i will hide it, im not concerned about what people think about the situation, all i know is dp was very unwell, and the hospital took that seriously and treated him as needed. Yes there was an nhs cost attached to that but that why the service is there. For All. Not just the ones deemed deserving.

Thank you for the advice and support, hope hes on the mend now 😊

OP posts:
teentree · 17/12/2019 17:50

Yes there was an nhs cost attached to that but that why the service is there

People you like make me sick.

WeirdCatLady · 17/12/2019 17:54

On the mend until the next time his drug use lands him in trouble Hmm

StinkyXmasCheese · 17/12/2019 18:12

This reply has been deleted

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Sparklybaublefest · 17/12/2019 18:41

Wind your necks in, don't be so sanctimonious

DoTheHop · 17/12/2019 18:42

What about all the obese people who will splurge on the pies this season and then end up in A&E with heart attacks. Are they disgusting too? Or just human.