Anyone else’s DH love to fanny arse about?

[DrierThanANunsNasty]

Kind of lighthearted, kind of losing my rag...

My DH just LOVES to fanny about every. single. day.

Get all ready to go out, taxi pulls up, he’s just remembered actually he’s not ready at all and has to go back inside to do something else for 5 minutes.

Say I’m hungry so fancy fish and chips for dinner as it’ll be quicker to go get that than cook (lazy I know, but it’s practically next door). He then takes the next 20 minutes to faff about, having a chat with his mum on the phone, go sit on the toilet for another 20 minutes. I could’ve cooked a roast by this point!

Every time I bring it up he goes “it’s just one minute of faffing, it won’t change your life” but if I added up all those wasted faffing minutes it probably has been years of my life

Prepared to be told I’m highly strung btw but I can’t have the only faffy DH?!

I have found my people!!!!

DH is king of taking ten years to decide between three packets of biscuits in any supermarket - intensely comparing brand, price, calories and literally anything else he can think of.

He also decides to have a shit at the most inconvenient times! We’ve just come back from holiday abroad and in the poshest restaurant we’ve ever been to, he decided to go for a 30min poo whilst the waiter came over every 5 mins to ask what we’d like to order. Of course I couldn’t order without him because he needs ten years to deliberate between everything on the damn menu!

He also takes 1 hour every night to come upstairs to bed. I go up earlier and by the time I’ve brushed my teeth, had a wee, removed makeup, changed into PJs, packed clothes for tomorrow etc etc he’s still sitting on the sofa mentally preparing himself to get up. I’m dreading having kids who inherit this faffing gene!

My DH doesn't do enough to faff but your phrase made me laugh. My mum used to tell us off for fart-arsing around. Or fidget-arsing. I thought it was just her being a bit of a nutter but 'Fanny-arsing' sounds very much like it's from the same lexicon!

Also my dm calls it fanny farting around, which always makes me laugh

I call it fart arsing about.

Another one married to the same person. It's the mornings that drive me nuts spends more time listening to the radio than getting ready and then has to run round like a blue arsed fly to leave the house to catch the bus.

Specific niche - the pre football poo. Always has to go before going the match. Just in case one of the biggest stadiums in England has to close all of its toilets, at the same time.