Anyone else’s DH love to fanny arse about?

[DrierThanANunsNasty]

Kind of lighthearted, kind of losing my rag...

My DH just LOVES to fanny about every. single. day.

Get all ready to go out, taxi pulls up, he’s just remembered actually he’s not ready at all and has to go back inside to do something else for 5 minutes.

Say I’m hungry so fancy fish and chips for dinner as it’ll be quicker to go get that than cook (lazy I know, but it’s practically next door). He then takes the next 20 minutes to faff about, having a chat with his mum on the phone, go sit on the toilet for another 20 minutes. I could’ve cooked a roast by this point!

Every time I bring it up he goes “it’s just one minute of faffing, it won’t change your life” but if I added up all those wasted faffing minutes it probably has been years of my life

Prepared to be told I’m highly strung btw but I can’t have the only faffy DH?!

I'd just leave without them. I've no patience for that kind of carry on.

Mine drops me off at the station in the morning. Has his breakfast, sits watching the news for 10 mins while I rush around getting ready & feed animals. When we're ready to go I stand by the door, aware I've got about 6 mins to do the 5 min drive to the station. Perfect time for him to start checking emails and facebook!!!!!!

I once caught my exh spraying his feet when we were all waiting for him and already late. It drove me absolutely up the wall.

My partner is also one for going to the toilet at the last possible second. It drives me mad!!

We had our second baby 4 months ago. After 5 hours of labour, I'm in the birthing pool, the midwife takes the gas and air off me and tells me its time to push. My partner scrambles up and I kid you not said "can we just hang on a minute - I need to go to the toilet?". We're not even married and I spent the duration of the ring of fire thinking about divorce!

Funniest one I've heard was on here. The op was sitting in the taxi to the airport, waiting to leave. The DH 'just popped' back inside. When she went back in to find him, HE WAS CUTTING THE FUCKING GRASS

That was my DH. He has not improved.

My son's birthday party, whole class invited, 30 mins to get village hall ready. Me and my sister running up and down the road with armfulls of stuff. HUSBAND IS RELACING HIS SHOES BECAUSE HE "COULDN'T FIND ANY OTHERS."

Mine can't undergo any change of state - going out, coming in, going to bed, adjourning to a different room, beginning or finishing an activity, making a phone call - without going for an epic shit.*

Hilarious!

It's men. It's a man thing. I have no idea where the whole thing about men waiting for women to get ready comes from. No woman I know takes longer than the men. They don't actually start the process of getting ready until it's time to leave.

Mine waited til we were about to go on a few days away in literally half an hours time before inexplicably deciding the car needed 4 new tyres and this would be a perfect time to go and find replacements.

My dh is like this, he witters on too, like my fil 😴

My DH does this, but he will not stand for anyone else's faffing. Only his faffing is very necessary and important

Not just mine then! Last Saturday we’re ready to go, dd and me stood by the door in our coats, shoes on, bags in hands and he goes oh I’ll just go and put my contact lenses in, what’s did I put my wallet? 20 minutes later dd is getting upset because she’s a toddler and can’t handle standing waiting for long and he’s just going to get his reusable cup .

Then when we get where we’re going he parks in the furthest possible parking spot from where we’re going aaarrrrgghhhh

Yes yes yes. I've had 13 years of it and I honestly think one day I'll snap and divorce him.
In fact on Sunday we were taking dd to a party and he did his usual discovery of things he must do before we leave. At the point he ran upstairs for the second time I just drove off and took her to the party
He also does non essential tasks when there are millions of crucial.ones. eg packing to go on holiday at 6am the next day and he will tidy the garage or now the lawn

I can guarantee that if I’m standing by the door, loaded with all the kids paraphernalia ready to go out he will announce he needs the loo...

@Aposterhasnoname I’m in bits, crying, laughing.
I have met my soulsisters. If anyone wants another faffer for Christmas I have a spare

Mine is usually ok unless it involves us catching a train. He doesn't seem to remember there is always a queue for tickets etc. I don't know why this is hard for him!

My father is even worse. I can't ever remember a time he has left the house and not had to come back at least once for something.

We should start a faffing widows club to mourn all the lost time we have spent waiting for our not-so-DHs

Fafferama here. I will always remember the time the alarm failed to go off. I woke up and realised we needed to leave for the airport in 4 minutes. I spent those miniutes at the speed of light getting dressed and grabbing my stuff. DH spent the first 2 minutes gazing at the alarm clock and turning it about to try to work out why it had not rung...

I remember how infuriating it was as a child waiting to go on holiday with the caravan and dad deciding to wash the car at the last minute. Aghh so annoying.

Argh yes. More annoying than ever, my DH doesn't seem to DO anything when he's faffing. He's just bloody slow and seems to stand around doing nothing. I swear I've seen him pause in the middle of walking down the stairs.

Reading the full thread and it's surprising me how many other men are like this! I was starting to genuinely think my DH has a form of inattentive ADD, especially as he was apparently always a dreamer in school etc. But as much as I hate to say it, it seems to be a male thing?

Yes! My husband is the same! Always needs the loo just before you put dinner out or go anywhere. He also has his 'supermarket walk', where on the rare occasions we end up there together ive made it up and down two aisles by the time he's ambled half way up the first one. And anywhere where you might want a good seat, so say the nativity last week, I had to say to him 'keep up' as we crossed the school yard as other parents sprinted past. Drives me insane! And he can also use 100 words when 10 would be enough, kind of telling you a story and then repeating it but just rephrasing it. Argh! And breathe...wasn't expecting that ranty outburst when I started typing. Other than the above he's lovely!

I don’t know how you put up with them and how they aren’t all dead. Years ago I was doing a dinner party, way behind, then dfiance was not contributing anything effective. I told him off, he snapped into action... and spent 45 minutes finding 7 teeny vases to put the bunch of flowers he had bought (he thought said buying deserved extravagant praise) and place around the house. 7. The meat wasn’t even in the oven and guests were due in ten minutes. The bollocking that followed means I’ve never seem quite such patheticness again.

My mum used to ‘joke’ that we’d be in the car with the engine running ready to go, and my dad would be going through his CD/record collection to find the perfect song to tie his shoelaces to.

Do anyone elses also try to be helpful by doing exactly what you are doing?
So if on washing up some pans he will kind of edge in and help.
I have to tell him to find another job as I am doing this one.
Another thing is getting up in the morning if we have plans. He will lie there untill the second I move and then jump up himself to get ready. I swear if I didn't make the first move he never would.

Faffing DH here too. Usually involving cutting the grass or going to get the car washed - or a hair cut, half an hour before we expect guests to come over. Every time. Even my DM jokes about it now too.