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Original poster

Anyone else’s DH love to fanny arse about?

205 replies

DrierThanANunsNasty · 16/12/2019 18:54

Kind of lighthearted, kind of losing my rag...

My DH just LOVES to fanny about every. single. day.

Get all ready to go out, taxi pulls up, he’s just remembered actually he’s not ready at all and has to go back inside to do something else for 5 minutes.

Say I’m hungry so fancy fish and chips for dinner as it’ll be quicker to go get that than cook (lazy I know, but it’s practically next door). He then takes the next 20 minutes to faff about, having a chat with his mum on the phone, go sit on the toilet for another 20 minutes. I could’ve cooked a roast by this point!

Every time I bring it up he goes “it’s just one minute of faffing, it won’t change your life” but if I added up all those wasted faffing minutes it probably has been years of my life Grin

Prepared to be told I’m highly strung btw but I can’t have the only faffy DH?!

OP posts:
sparklyglitterball · 16/12/2019 19:28

My dh is the same. I feel your pain! If we have to be somewhere at a certain time, I always tell him half an hour earlier than the true time as it takes him so long to get himself sorted! Lacking basic time management skills, yet functions perfectly well with deadlines etc at work 🤔

Fredy45 · 16/12/2019 19:29

Mine generally doesn't faff (although will start a chore right next to mine in the kitchen say, get in the way then expect me to move/help etc).

But wtf is it with shitting before leaving the house? He'll be sat on the sofa tapping his feet waiting for me and the kids. We'll go out to the car and next thing I know he's on the friggin loo. It's not like we've been hogging the bathroom or anything so he could have gone. It's like a reflex I tell you

Knittedfairies · 16/12/2019 19:31

My husband decided it was a perfect time to replace the roofing felt on the shed... on Christmas Eve. Apparently there was nothing he could do to 'help' so he thought he'd crack on with the roof. I could have found him several things to occupy him.

Potplant · 16/12/2019 19:32

I didn’t know ex had remarried Grin
He could faff at Olympic level. Going on holiday, taxi coming in an hour? Great I’ll quickly mow the lawn (we were 10 minutes away from them closing check in)
He would spend all day Sunday cooking lunch. All day. Making a Spotify playlist, changing the cooker hood filter, nipping to B&Q for a lightbulb, nipping to his mums for god knows what, Reading the meter, scrolling through YouTube, reading every cookbook in the house, cleaning all the cupboards out. None of the jobs can be done at the same time as anything else, so it would go on and on. I’d be chewing my arm off and he’d still be peeling spuds at 4pm.

Original poster
DrierThanANunsNasty · 16/12/2019 19:34

These are all brilliant, I feel all your pain haha! I’d like to know if there’s some scientific study as to why men pick certain times to go to the toilet for what feels like forever. I forgot about the plating up dinner thing - guaranteed he will other go for a mammoth toilet session OR call someone that he knows is going to be at least a 20 minute conversation. The mind boggles!

OP posts:
GloriaMaximus · 16/12/2019 19:36

Mine does the toilet thing when ready to leave too.
I make him leave his phone on the side rather than taking it in, surprisingly it takes a fraction of the time..

selmabear · 16/12/2019 19:38

Sounds very like my DP. Take today for example. Had a 101 errands to run before 11am so asked DP to do just 1 of them to save me some time. Went to do all my errands thinking he was running that one little errand got home 10.30am to find he still hadn't even left the house! He'd been faffing about that entire time. Reminded him he only had 30 minutes to prompt him to get move on and he decides he needs to check his messages and change his shoes before he leaves. Drives me insane!!!

Hellofromtheotherside2020 · 16/12/2019 19:39

Oh these are hilarious, laughing so much!
My DH isn't a faffer, thankfully, however he always forgets his wallet...or anything else essential and important (passports!). Like he will go out exclusively to get petrol in his work ute, and come back two mins later because he's forgot his wallet. Or we will go shopping and after driving for 15/20 mins I'll ask if he has his wallet (having already said at home I'm not taking my card out) and we have to turn back and get it.
He's left our passports in the back of the seats on the plane....twice (we had newborns each time who I had looked after on flights so he could rest up to drive, so between holding baby and their bags etc, I thought he could be responsible enough to hold onto passports).

It's just easier doing it all myself now to be honest. I know I should be so responsible for a man who's capable of running his own business and employing over fifty people, but after 20 years I've just come to the conclusion that to make my own life easier, I'll just do.....it......myself!

MarianaMoatedGrange · 16/12/2019 19:40

There was a long thread about men's faffing a while back. Some posters commented it seems to be a power thing - Mr Important has to keep everyone waiting.

christmastreewithhairyfairy · 16/12/2019 19:40

Aggggh this is DH too. The shits at inconvenient times especially, and the taking several years to sit down at the table once the food is on it and getting cold. His mother and (SIL tells me) brother are the same. Maybe it's genetic?
I have ADHD and lose things constantly, but i don't FAFF!!

Zzzz19 · 16/12/2019 19:41

My ex wife and her family were all like this. Always late. Infuriating

MistyCloud · 16/12/2019 19:42

@DrierThanANunsNasty

I read the title as 'anyone else's DH like to go from fanny to arse?'

As you were. Blush

Pinkarsedfly · 16/12/2019 19:43

Mine did.

I divorced him.

New one doesn’t.

It’s brilliant.

EpcotForever · 16/12/2019 19:46

Yes, mine faffs. Usually just as we are going out he'll remember he has to do something right now and it cannot possibly be done later.
Always the toilet, when we are about to do anything.
He does things just to be inconvenient I think Blush
@Oysterbabe that's definitely something mine would do too!!!

OlaEliza · 16/12/2019 19:47

Funniest one I've heard was on here. The op was sitting in the taxi to the airport, waiting to leave. The DH 'just popped' back inside. When she went back in to find him, HE WAS CUTTING THE FUCKING GRASS 😂

WorldsOnFire · 16/12/2019 19:47

I think I’m your DH in my marriage 😂
Although in my defence I’m 6 months pregnant and wasn’t like this before.
I always need to pee, end up changing my top several times before we leave as too hot/cold/itchy 😂
Literally have to take a suitcase of snacks everywhere to manage the nausea...of an a spit cup...and a bottle of water. By the time I done I need a wee again - DH is incredibly patient but ends up waiting by the door for a good 20/30 mins every time we leave the house

Hellofromtheotherside2020 · 16/12/2019 19:47

@MarianaMoatedGrange haha I would have thought the opposite. Seems more like a child thing sometimes!

There needs to be a study looking into why men need to poo at the most inconvenient times.

My DH always gets these convenient (for him) inconvenient (for me) migraines little headaches when we do something special as a family, eg holiday, day trip etc. He's never once had one when it's been something he's planned. What's worse is he'll be a total martyr and carry on while grimacing, won't take pain relief... Feel like he does this just to add to my stress.

Savingshoes · 16/12/2019 19:48

This Morning's Ruth has the same problem with Eamon... she explained that they come to work in separate cars because one time when they were leaving for work, she went to get in the car, he said he needed to do something upstairs and when he's been gone a few minutes (making her worried they would be late for work) she found him climbing into a bath!
Xmas Grin

rumandbiscuits · 16/12/2019 19:48

LOL!!!

This post made me laugh out loud.

Are you married to my OH?

Drives me absolutely round the fucking wall!!! I have to laugh or I'll cry!

You have my deepest sympathies Thanks but I'm also secretly glad I'm not the only one!

lotusbell · 16/12/2019 19:49

Yep, my OH does this too..worst one is announcing he's going for a shower. I go upstairs ten minutes later and he's still fannying about on his phone, not even half undressed.

Biggles001 · 16/12/2019 19:50

I think we're all married to the same man?
Got to be somewhere in 10 mins? Excellent, he HAS to go and get his haircut.
Unfortunately, our daughter appears to be taking after him.....

MulticolourTinselOnTheTree · 16/12/2019 19:52

There was a long thread about men's faffing a while back. Some posters commented it seems to be a power thing - Mr Important has to keep everyone waiting.

I was going to post that I thought that it's a control thing for some of these people.

user1498572889 · 16/12/2019 19:53

These posts made me laugh cringe and angry. Thank god my husband is not a faffer. You lot have the patience of a saint.
My DH is a bit of a drama queen but that’s another post 😂

StubbleTurnips · 16/12/2019 19:55

Biggles YY to the haircut thing, why the fuck do they do that?! We were off to panto a couple of weeks back, I was sorting kids and heard the door click. Thought nothing of it, shouted him no response. Tracked the old iPhone to the barbers, rang him - yep just 5mins as he was getting his haircut. The whole barbers heard me lose my shit, it’s not like he’s on the pull for the panto dame. Frigging idiot.

HunnyMummy1993 · 16/12/2019 19:56

Oh. This might be me.

DH says if there was a faff Olympics....

... I wouldn’t have entered because I’d still be wandering round half arsedly looking for a pen to fill in the entry form by the time the faff olympics came on telly.

I can’t deny it.