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AIBU?

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Original poster

Anyone else’s DH love to fanny arse about?

205 replies

DrierThanANunsNasty · 16/12/2019 18:54

Kind of lighthearted, kind of losing my rag...

My DH just LOVES to fanny about every. single. day.

Get all ready to go out, taxi pulls up, he’s just remembered actually he’s not ready at all and has to go back inside to do something else for 5 minutes.

Say I’m hungry so fancy fish and chips for dinner as it’ll be quicker to go get that than cook (lazy I know, but it’s practically next door). He then takes the next 20 minutes to faff about, having a chat with his mum on the phone, go sit on the toilet for another 20 minutes. I could’ve cooked a roast by this point!

Every time I bring it up he goes “it’s just one minute of faffing, it won’t change your life” but if I added up all those wasted faffing minutes it probably has been years of my life Grin

Prepared to be told I’m highly strung btw but I can’t have the only faffy DH?!

OP posts:
FoamingAtTheUterus · 17/12/2019 06:53

Mine faffs .........I've actually started to do a bathroom call 20 minutes before we go out and inform him there will be no second chances to have a poo.......this is after years of him announcing he needs the loo just as we step out the damn door. Angry I also walk off and leave him, this is for my own sanity. And his safety. Angry

KarenSmith123 · 17/12/2019 06:54

This reply has been deleted

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Bluewavescrashing · 17/12/2019 06:56

Yes, yes and yes.

FizzyIce · 17/12/2019 07:26

My dh always finds a super important diy job or chore he just has to do just before we’re about to go out and his reasoning is “I’ll still be ready before you” which is always a lie and I’m stood waiting for him by the front door .
And the annoying thing is , my dad is exactly the same !

Ithinkwerealonenowtiffany · 17/12/2019 07:27

Yep, I also have one. Driving me up the wall!

I work 30 hours, he took VR a few weeks ago so is now a “house husband”. When i was home with the kids (they are older now) I cooked and cleaned.

I leave the house at 7:30am and return at 5:30/6pm. And notice that nothing is ever done. Fuck knows what he does all day😂😂😂

Dillydallies when we go somewhere, an never leave on time. Isn’t structured. I could never go on a plane holiday as we’d never catch the damn thing.

Complaining of lots to do but doesn’t do them. Make a list FFS!

savethecat · 17/12/2019 07:30

I do ALL of my Husband's business admin. In fact, he doesn't have to do anything except turn up most of the time.

He has a habit of going on about some task that needs to be done..........for example an email to be sent, documents to be scanned, an account to sent........as though it is a mammoth task and needs to be "got around to". It may be a week of "we need to do those things

Seriously, these "things" take me a minute, all he has to do is grab the info, the documents etc and hand them to me and it's done.

It may take him one or two weeks to get around to this stuff so i can just get it done.

toomuchtooold · 17/12/2019 07:55

Domeone mentioned the supermarket walk. Oh god. One of the best things about SAHMing is that I do the weekly shop alone. I just bought the beef joint for Christmas dinner, and that job consisted of walking up to the meat joints in the supermarket and picking up one that was about the right size and had a sell by date after Christmas. It didn't consist of holding up four or five basically identical joints and comparing the position and amount of fat, the marbling, the size and shape, and then having a discussion about whether the other supermarket might also have its Christmas joints in, and whether it might be worth having a look to see what they look like before buying one... he had that whole conversation once he came in and saw it in the fridge, but as usual, since the decision had already been made he found lots of reasons why it was the perfect choice. It must be bloody knackering.

HandsOffMyRights · 17/12/2019 08:01

I was on the previous thread and agree that in some cases it's a control/avoidance issue.

I find it disrespectful of my time too.

TitianaTitsling · 17/12/2019 08:03

Also this about when hes ready to leave it means that he just needs to cut/do his hair, change, brush his teeth, find his phone! There's a Tales of the Unexpected episode about this!

Instagrump · 17/12/2019 08:21

Mine will go off and fold laundry or some shit as we're ready to leave. I just look at him like, "What the actual fuck?!" (Okay, it's more than a look. I say it. Along with sentences like, "Are you fucking kidding me?")

Charlottejade89 · 17/12/2019 08:35

Omg yes to this! my dp takes forever to get ready to go anywhere, takes about 40 mins a time on the loo and takes about an hour to pop to the shop (which is a 5 min drive away) he also always has to pop back in the house for something hes forgotten every time we are going out. Drives me insane. Were getting married next year and I'm actually concerned that hes going to be really late as he will think hes got loads of time and then decided to start getting ready 30 mins before the ceremony starts or something lol

Whattodoabout · 17/12/2019 08:40

Yes, I also could have written this. My DH is exactly the same. He quite often will decide he either needs a crap or he needs to make a coffee right as everyone is about to leave. We will all have shoes and coats on ready to go when he’ll make that decision. I have been in the situation where we have all been sitting in the car ready to go for up to 15 minutes for him. He’s the king of faffers and I can’t stand it, I hate being late.

Dustarr73 · 17/12/2019 08:54

I used to say,thank God he didnt have to bring the kids to school.It would be time to collect them before he even gets out the door.

We are sitting in the car waiting on him,and i have to go and get him about 3 times before he leaves.I make sure he goes out in front of me and i close the door.
Funny thing is,he gets annoyed if hes waiting in the car for you.

thecatsthecats · 17/12/2019 09:12

Mine drives me potty with insisting that he MUST iron his t shirt, brush, floss and mouthwash when we're running late.

He gets whiny saying it's rude to show up sloppy for family things, and I don't fundamentally disagree with him, but it's HIS FUCKING CHOICE to sit around doing the square root of fuck all until five minutes before we're due to leave.

Anywaythewindisblowing · 17/12/2019 09:22

In tears of hilarity reading these.
This is my husband:
*picture falls off wall
Me 'can you put that back up please' (can't do it self am disabled)
H 'yes'
Repeat x 6 months to 3 years depending...
At length,we'll be stood there about to get in a taxi to go to a wedding, h is no where to be seen.... 'what are you doing??'
'I'm putting that picture back up'
Why now?! Why after the decades of you sitting and picking your balls on the sofa is THIS POINT IN HISTORY the time to finally do the thing?!

RainbowSlide · 17/12/2019 09:28

Yep. Faffing widow here too.

As i was reading this post my dh was supposedly putting the dinner in theoven for the final 10mins of cooking having said how hungry i am (breastfeeding small baby!). Finally got baby to sleep, went into kitchen, dh was chopping pineapple and dinner wasn't even in the fecking oven.

I am fully prepared to drive off without him if he doesn't respect my timings - he makes me late 100% of the time given the chance. Can't help but find it rude/lazy/selfish..

sayingno · 17/12/2019 09:31

So basically at this point I believe we're all married to the same manGrinGrinGrin

Bluntness100 · 17/12/2019 09:32

My husband can do a bit of this, but in a slightly different way. Going out etc he is always ready on time. But if he has to do something, or even want to do something he gives a time line then never does it.

For example we had to install a light at the weekend. He says, right I'm going to watch twenty mins of golf then do it at x time. He then watched the golf for two hours.

Or, I'm going to play x box. Then turns the channel over and sits there. I don't understand why he needs to give a time line. They are self imposed. When the time line is never met. It really annoys me for some reason.

malificent7 · 17/12/2019 09:37

Mine too....part of it stems from the fact that he carries his shit around in multiple bags that have no ryme or readon to them. For example on holiday i may have a handbag with wallets, keys, etc and a bag for clothes, one laundry bag, a bag for beach games...they will be categorised and there aren't too many of them.
He has massses of bags which contain a jumble of things ...so his wallet might be at the bottom of his grocery bag or his car keys might have found their way to the bottom of his touletry bag...he only lookd for said keys as we are leaving the houde...queue rummaging around.aaaggghrrrr!
He holds down a ft job and is a wonderful man but just organise your frickin stuff man!

malificent7 · 17/12/2019 09:37

Rhyme or reason..

malificent7 · 17/12/2019 09:38

Toiletry bag

RainbowAlicorn · 17/12/2019 10:00

My DH has his faults but faffing isn't really one of them. He is ready to go 30 minutes before we need to go, it's me that tends to faff Blush I get it from my DF, although I am no where near as bad as my DF, he drives my DM mad.

MrsToothyBitch · 17/12/2019 10:54

I love my kind, generous and thoughtful dad but he's also known as Faff Master General.

He has a panic pee and a little wander round the house or detailed check of his pockets whenever it's time to go out. He also accuses the cat of getting under his feet but then comes in ridiculously personal space intrudingly close to walk past you or comes and stands right next to you in the kitchen & halves your work space, ignores requests to move over and then takes ages. Drives me nuts!! I'm staying with my parents atm and he made DM a crumpet on Sunday. It took a good 25 min. I decided to wait until he was done faffing in the kitchen to go in and make my own supper. Once he'd done the crumpet and also associated washing up etc, he started again and made himself a sandwich... another 15 min!!! He then wondered where my pudding bowl of raspberries had gone... I ate them whilst he faffed to stave off starvation!!

He's a fretter and can't drop things either. He thinks mum & I are very rude because he talks over and ignores us nicely saying "dw it's sorted", "thank you but it's done", "please dw", "lets do something else", "please stop" and only reacts when one of us is sufficiently wound up to shout "shut up!" or worse at him. It probably is rude but if he listened, we wouldn't have to. Blush

00Sassy · 17/12/2019 11:54

@toomuchtooold
Yes to the supermarket faffing! Hmm

I often pray that one of the DC will nod off on the drive there so I can ‘offer’ to go in alone, because we wouldn’t want to wake them Grin
Honestly if he comes in with me it takes at least twice as long!

thecatsthecats · 17/12/2019 12:10

OMG, the supermarkets.

I was fucking triumphant on Saturday when we got in and out of Lidl in ten minutes (and as such arrived home 5 minutes before our guests did).

He says I 'wander off' - yes, I 'wander off' to go directly to the seven items I came in for whilst you consider the merits of the six types of puddings we don't need in the lobby.