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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DU never locks the bloody door

265 replies

Saitama · 16/12/2019 01:27

Title really, we moved to a new house recently and DH so far 6 times (not that I’m counting... Hmm ) has left the front door unlocked. We live on a main road so the front door is easily accessible. We also have dogs so if they jumped at or knocked the door handle it could open, they could escape and get run over as well as all our stuff being stolen. Fab!

I find this absolutely infuriating. He doesn’t take it seriously, says he will lock it next time and promises to lock it as soon as he gets in, but 6 chances later and he still leaves it unlocked and now I obviously don’t trust him.

I’ve taken his house keys and our car key from him and said I’ll have to let him in and out of the house like a child. I don’t trust him with the car key because how can I know he’s locking the car if he can’t even lock the house door? I’ve told him he has to get a bus to work now. Too harsh? AIBU?

How do I make him lock the fking door!?!? I don’t want to have to babysit the keys but what choice do I have? I looked at getting an auto lock as a secondary lock but it’s a upvc door so I’m unsure you can even get it for that type, and frankly why should I have to spend money on that when as an adult DH should just be able to lock the door normally? ARGH! Angry

OP posts:
christmasbow · 16/12/2019 22:39

Yale lock is your friend here.
Now wondering why my car which I bought last year, brand new premium brand sports car comes under a pp posting of 'too old' it doesn't have this technology to automatically lock when I walk away...

gamerchick · 16/12/2019 22:42

I'm not talking about bloody crunchy nut cornflakes man, I'm talking about packets of nuts HmmGrin

If someone walks through an unlocked door and steals a handbag and car keys. The first thing the insurance will ask is were there any unlocked doors. It's common sense. I'd be very surprised if they pay out and someone would laugh inwardly if the person claiming said 'well unlocked doors isn't in the policy'.

PickAChew · 16/12/2019 22:48

Central locking in a car isn't any use if someone can just walk into the house and pick up the keys

PickAChew · 16/12/2019 22:50

Also, most modern doors aren't made so you can install a yale lock. The locks are all internal to the door.

PickAChew · 16/12/2019 22:53

f we had locked doors whilst at home, people couldn’t pop in for a coffee. I wouldn’t necessarily hear a knock as it’s the other end of the house and I use headphones for calls

You wouldn't hear someone walk in and help themselves to your belongings either, then. That's not all that nice.

saraclara · 16/12/2019 22:53

It's easy to swap a lock, and a working outside handle for a fixed one, on a UPVC door*. I had it done myself a few years ago.

*Someone will probably come on and say 'not all UPVC doors, but they all look similar in construction to me.

saraclara · 16/12/2019 22:55

(And I'm not talking a Yale lock - these are five point locking doors that can be single locked by closing or double locked with a key)

whatthehelldowecare · 16/12/2019 23:13

I would never lock my door when I'm home until I'm going to bed. Even then, it's not unheard of for me to get into bed then realise that I've forgot to lock the door, but go to sleep anyway because I can't be bothered getting up again to lock it. Don't live in a particularly safe area and have no concerns but maybe I'm just lazy

SgtFredColon · 16/12/2019 23:42

I had my handbag stolen once through an open window and the insurance definitely asked about window being locked or not.

Also pretty sure someone walked into my house when I was a kid and took my mother’s handbag from the kitchen table.

Locking your door so someone can’t walk in is hardly barricading yourself in or dangerous is it? We have a spare key that lives near the door in any case for when you don’t have your own keys to hand.

MsPepperPotts · 16/12/2019 23:55

Well if you do get burgled the insurance won't pay out if any door is left unlocked.

ineedaholidaynow · 17/12/2019 00:23

As insurance companies hate paying out claims I assume they will expect front doors to be locked. A bit like leaving your car keys in the car (if you don’t have auto lock cars!)

JustASmallTownCurl · 17/12/2019 00:41

I'd be more worried about where I'd chosen to live in that case, living somewhere where not locking your door is 'bloody dangerous' sounds horrendous. Round our way it's more of a nuisance if the door is locked when you have to answer it to take in a parcel. Our door is only locked if we are out in the garden/upstairs.

Come on, not everyone gets to that selectively "choose" where they live.

I don't live in a "bad" area at all but it's in a busy and urban area, pretty visible from a busy road and it's not worth the risk of leaving a door unlocked even when I'm home.

I'd love to live in a house somewhere super duper safe, ideally with gates and a buffer between the road and my place.

But not everyone has the luxury of "choosing" somewhere to live in an area safe enough that locking doors isn't a concern.

BarbaraofSeville · 17/12/2019 06:06

The non door lockers must either live on remote islands that have close to zero crime or are being spectacularly naive.

Sneak in burglaries are common enough in most areas for it to be standard police advice that you lock your doors and windows even when in the house.

A common technique is also to follow lone women home from supermarkets etc because nearly all of us walk into the house, dump handbag, car keys etc and head straight to the toilet, giving theives ample opportunity to grab these items and drive away in the car.

Several of my colleagues have lost cars, phones, valuables etc due to burglars walking through their unlocked doors while they are at home and they're the ones who live in the naice, Mumsnet approved prime areas of north Leeds.

Even in rural areas, sneak in crime, theft of farm/garden machinery etc and probably anything they can get from the house, is also far from unknown, although the presence of dogs is probably a deterrant.

We have built in latches on our doors that we use routinely when we're in the house. They were fitted when we moved in and they're incredibly useful and we use them without thinking about it. They mean that no-one can get in and we can get out without having to find keys if we need to.

BarbaraofSeville · 17/12/2019 06:08

Careful where you store your keys too - thieves are known to use tools to extract keys through letterboxes and catflaps.

bluebluezoo · 17/12/2019 09:41

Central locking in a car isn't any use if someone can just walk into the house and pick up the keys

Cars with fobs rather than keys are even easier to steal, as you don't physically need the keys.

Two thieves, one stands outside the house and bounces the key signal to their mate standing next to the car. Car unlocks, button press start, car nicked.

gamerchick · 17/12/2019 10:07

Two thieves, one stands outside the house and bounces the key signal to their mate standing next to the car. Car unlocks, button press start, car nicked

Yeah, I watched a dispatches on how they did that. Made me want to keep car keys in the fridge.

woodchuck99 · 17/12/2019 11:46

I'm not sure that insurance companies would refuse to pay if your doors are not locked if you are actually in the house. It's not quite the same as leaving them unlocked when you are not in the house. As for windows I didn't think they were meant to be locked if you're in the house nowadays. What if there is a fire and you need to get out?.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 17/12/2019 17:08

Insurance companies WOULD refuse to pay.... Unless you have very different insurance....

You MUST showed forced entry...

Burglars wandering through an unlocked door/window won't be insured when they leave with the family silver...

Ihavetoomanyfeelings · 17/12/2019 17:12

All these people saying they don't lock their doors when they're in amazes me. Surely you must realise being able to do that and not feel nervous about it puts you in a very privileged position that clearly the OP is not in? I'm delighted that you live in such safe areas that you don't need to lock your doors and I can only assume if you don't live in a really safe area but leave your doors unlocked then you've had plenty of training to fight against a potential burglar/rapist and have very good insurance!

The reality is that for a significant amount of the population it is common sense to keep your doors locked even if you're inside. Nothing happens to people who leave their doors open until it does, and I've always been taught it's better to prevent any situation rather than deal with the aftermath. Some people can't afford to live in 'safer' areas (and in a lot of cases the safer areas still get burgled and attacked) so it's very problematic to make the OP feel like she's overreacting when she is being realistic.

My family told me about how years ago they could leave their doors unlocked even when out, anyone could walk in and even in impoverished areas it was very safe and trusting. Those times have passed and we don't live in a rosy society where everyone means well. I am a woman and Its not about living in fear and anxiety and 'needing to relax' (I don't) it's about self preservation, the very least I can do is make sure the bloody door is locked!

celtiethree · 17/12/2019 17:19

My insurance policy does cover theft where there is no forced entry. It definitely does not have a requirement to show forced entry. It has different exclusions depending on whether forced or unforced but there is no requirement to lock your door if you are in the house.

StinkyXmasCheese · 17/12/2019 17:23

@Dogno1 WTF! What kind of car locks itself?! 🧐
Not even my dads brand new 2019 reg car does that... 🙄
Taking the car key is very childish.
Just get one of those auto locking latch locks.

nuxe1984 · 17/12/2019 17:35

Get a new front door that locks automatically when you close it.

nuxe1984 · 17/12/2019 17:36

@Dogno1 WTF! What kind of car locks itself?! 🧐

I have a 2017 Nissan that locks itself if I leave it with the key in my pocket.

sabbii · 17/12/2019 17:41

I would spend a small amount of dosh and upgrade to a key entry or any of those fancy smart solutions. The extra security could make your home insurance cheaper but the main thing is piece of mind.

Fairenuff · 17/12/2019 17:45

How do I make him lock the fking door!?

You do something every day that annoys him (like move his shoes or toothbrush) and when he asks you to stop doing it you tell him that you will as long as he agrees to do the thing that you've asked him to do.

This works.